Session Notes

Mental Foreplay – Eight Mental Aphrodisiacs

A mental aphrodisiac is anything that captures your imagination and connects you to your sexual feelings.  That’s why certain movies, songs, or books make such great mental aphrodisiacs.

Mental Foreplay – The Mental Foreplay Experience

Modesty can be delightful. But in bed, inhibitions hold no appeal. When you are in love, but don’t often feel like making love, inhibitions may be the invisible cloud that’s blocking your feelings

The CD has some great reflections on beautiful sexual experiences.

How a Husband Should Handle His Wife’s Submission

Submitting is a voluntary action. That means it is something we ourselves do. It’s not something we make someone else do. Just as we can’t force another person to love us, we can’t force someone to submit to us either. Of course we can make that person do what we want. But then that’s not true submission.

Submission is a choice we make. It’s something each one of us must decide to do. And this decision happens first in the heart. If we don’t decide in our hearts that we are going to willingly submit to whomever it is we need to be submitted to, then we are not truly submitting.

This may be shocking news to you, but an overwhelming majority of wives in my survey said they want to submit to their husbands. They want their husbands to be the head of the home, and they have no desire to usurp that God-given position of leadership. They know what the Bible says on the subject, and discerning wives want to do what God wants because they understand that God’s ways work best.

Husbands and Wives: Gender Gap?

or a woman, they are her lifeblood. Her confidence, her sexual response and her zest for living are often directly related to those tender moments when she feels deeply loved and appreciated by her man.

That is why flowers and candy and cards are more meaningful to her than to him. This is why she is continually trying to pull him out of the television set or the newspaper, and not vice versa. This is why the anniversary is critically important to her and why she never forgets it. That is why he had better not forget it! This need for romantic love is not some quirk or peculiarity of his wife, as some may think. This is the way women are made.

TrueU.org | Men’s Hall: Welcome to the Men’s Hall: Sacred Masculinity

Given that I believe that men and women were created the way they are on purpose, I would say that we need to start with the Creator, the God revealed in the Bible. I know this seems oversimplified, but many times, our descriptions of God suffer from the same shortcomings as our descriptions of “real men”; that is, it is easy to see the qualities that we like most about ourselves as the primary qualities of God. To try and correct this, we need to be careful to listen to the way that God speaks of Himself. If we use our individual experiences to begin our discussions, we will fall into the trap of standardizing our lives.

PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF MY VIRGINITY

Instead of asking, “How far can we go without crossing the line?” a real man of God seeks to be uncompromising in his attitude toward sin. He flees from anything that’s questionable. Above all, choosing to remain pure isn’t a matter of simply holding to technical virginity: “Hey, we didn’t have intercourse, so it’s not really sex — or sin.”I like what a friend of mine once said: “God’s concern for virginity is not a matter of anatomy but of privacy. He wants us to reserve our ‘private parts’ for the privacy of marriage.”So, where should Christians draw the line sexually? Flip through the Bible and you’ll uncover the standards God wants us to follow:• “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).• “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” ((Ephesians 5:3).

Stuff and Nonsense: Stuff and Nonsense

But to give up Christmas gift giving altogether would be nonsense. Here’s why: Gift giving can help my children capture the essence of God’s extravagant love for us. The planning, the decorations, the music, the wonder of Christmas — including the unwrapping of gifts — show my children about abundant generosity. As a family we can celebrate the goodness of God — the pinnacle good being the giving of the Christ child. If approached with the right attitude, Christmas American-style can still be holy.

Having “the right attitude” is the tricky part, but we’re working on it.

Taylor’s list has exactly five items on it, all of which are electronics I have banned and refuse to purchase. This makes me sad for two reasons: First, he will probably be disappointed with what I buy. But maybe that’s okay, because ultimately all material things will disappoint him — and the sooner he learns to seek after the true Gift of God, the better.

Have a Razzle-Dazzle Christmas on a Rinky-Dink Budget

String white lights around the house and light candles; dim your overhead lights to create a cozy feel.

Nurturing Your Child’s Spirit: Talking to God

hrough prayer we can place our cares in God’s hands before going to sleep. It is also a great opportunity to snuggle with the kids and comfort them before retiring for the night.

Nurturing Your Child’s Spirit: Build a Foundation

As they take in the world around them, they learn that bad things happen to good people and wonder why. Why does grandmother have cancer? Why did my neighbor get into a car crash? Why do people in faraway places not have enough food to eat? They wonder how they can make things better. They have an abundance of “childlike faith,” so they believe they can. If the concept of God is introduced properly by loving parents, they don’t need to know all about who God is or where He’s from. They simply trust that He is there, aware, and cares. Pointing in the Right Direction There will come a time when your child’s faith will become personal.

Nurturing Your Child’s Spirit: What Is a Healthy Faith Tradition?

What Is a Healthy Faith Tradition?

  It is one that:

Gives us a clear understanding of who God is and why we are here. Gives us a purpose for our life that’s bigger than ourselves Provides a sense of security with self and others Gives emotional stability in adversity Helps us understand society, the good and bad Provides social skills for healthy relationships, especially within the family Teaches us respect for others

Nurturing Your Child’s Spirit: Assessing Childhood Faith Things to assess about your belief system:

God: Does God exist? If so, is he all-powerful? All knowing? All good?

Man: Is man created in the image of God? Did he evolve, like an animal? Or was he created higher than animals?

Sin: What does the word mean? Is sin real? What makes something sin? If there is sin, what do you do about it? Are there consequences to sin?

Afterlife: What is your view of eternity? Heaven? Hell?

Salvation: If sin and eternity exist, how do we resolve this? How do we find salvation? Is it through good works? Is it through God? Are there other ways?

Truth: What is truth? How do you know something is true?

Society: What is our responsibility to others? What is our role in society?

Nurturing Your Child’s Spirit: The Value of Traditions Easter sunrise service: Most communities have a sunrise service that can help make this season special.

A special meal with guests or doing a service project can teach children that others are valuable.

The opportunity to nurture your child’s spirit and the powerful sense of identity that traditions bring to children’s lives are well worth the work you put into developing your own special family traditions. Start now and reap the rewards.

Husbands and Wives: Women, More Than Men?

he entire orientation for little girls in our society is toward romantic excitement. It begins during the preschool years with childhood fantasies, such as Cinderella dazzling the crowd (and particularly the Prince) with her irresistible charm, or Sleeping Beauty, being tenderly kissed back to consciousness by the handsome young man of her dreams. While little boys are identifying with football superstars and gun-toting cowboys, their sisters are playing “Barbie Dolls” and other role-oriented games that focus on dating and heterosexual relationships. Later, the typical high school girl will spend much more time daydreaming about marriage than will her masculine counterpart. He will think about sex, to be sure, but she will be glassy-eyed over love. She will buy and read the romantic

Husbands and Wives: Romance and Lifelong Intimacy

Women are inclined to describe romance as the things their mate does to make them feel loved, protected, and respected. Wives, especially those married to busy husbands, crave the excitement of romantic encounters. They long for “some enchanted evening, across a crowded room.” Flowers, compliments, nonsexual touching, and love notes are all steps in this direction. So is helping out at home. A man who shares in the duties of cooking, cleaning, and picking up the kids after basketball practice is much more likely to win the affection of his wife.

I appreciate that romance is defined by men as their need for respect and admiration.

Husbands and Wives: Women, More Than Men?

The entire orientation for little girls in our society is toward romantic excitement. It begins during the preschool years with childhood fantasies, such as Cinderella dazzling the crowd (and particularly the Prince) with her irresistible charm, or Sleeping Beauty, being tenderly kissed back to consciousness by the handsome young man of her dreams. While little boys are identifying with football superstars and gun-toting cowboys, their sisters are playing “Barbie Dolls” and other role-oriented games that focus on dating and heterosexual relationships. Later, the typical high school girl will spend much more time daydreaming about marriage than will her masculine counterpart. He will think about sex, to be sure, but she will be glassy-eyed over love. She will buy and read the romantic

FROM REJECTION TO CONNECTION

After all, God could have had other plans for Tiffany. Yet several key things had given me confidence: Tiffany and I had built our relationship on a foundation of . . .. . . FAITH. Jesus, and His will for our lives, was (and is) the center of our desires. He defined our self-worth, not the status of having someone to date. . . . FRIENDSHIP. We’d spent a little more than two years getting to know each other. This meant countless hours having fun together and asking each other hard questions. True intimacy always grows slowly out of the solid soil of knowing each other casually and intently. . . . SUPPORT. We kept our relationship within sight of our families. One of the first steps I took was to ask Tiffany’s dad for his permission to get married, as well as his blessing on our life together. 

Smart Stepparenting: Recognize the Losses of Your Stepchildren

Here are just a few changes that bring loss to children:

not wanting parents to divorcenot wanting to change residences or move between two homes a new stepparent they didn’t ask for and the death of the dream of parental reconciliationnew stepsiblings

Smart Stepparenting: Key Points to Remember

Early in remarriage biological parents need to remain primary caregivers and disciplinarians. Handing off the children to the new stepparent sabotages his or her ability to build a relationship. • Early in remarriage parents should empower stepparents by communicating to the children their expectation of obedience. Later, even if you disagree with what the stepparent has done in your absence, support his or her position with the children. Then take your disagreement behind closed doors and work out a unified plan and consequences for the next offense.

Smart Stepparenting: Make Your Marriage a Priority

f the biological parent doesn’t help the stepparent into a leadership position, the stepparent is likely to try to force his or her way in. This almost always results in resentment and resistance from the insiders. Again, jealousy, rejection, and anger are common resulting emotions.

Now let me balance this truth by noting that biological parents must take a “both/and” stance with their children and new spouse. They must invest time and energy in both. Early in the remarriage, for example, it is especially important to stay connected with your children. But eventually the marriage must be made a priority, even in front of the children.

Smart Stepparenting: Move Gradually into Discipline

Biological parents must pass power to stepparents shortly after remarriage so that children will understand that stepparents are not acting on their own authority, but on the parent’s authority. You might say, “I know Sarah is not your mother. However, when I am not here, she will be enforcing the rules we have all agreed on. I expect you to be courteous and respect her as you would a teacher or coach.

Smart Stepparenting: Grow into Your Role

Early in remarriage, the most successful stepparent-stepchild relationships are those where the stepparent focuses first on the development of a warm, friendly interaction style with the stepchild. Once a foundation of mutual respect and affection is established, stepparents who then attempt to assume a disciplinarian role are less likely to meet with resentment from the stepchild.”1

Smart Stepparenting: Have Realistic Expectations

Stepparents need to learn to relax into their role and not expect too much of themselves. To expect too much is to set themselves up for disappointment and frustration. Biological parents also need to relax and let stepparents and stepchildren carve out their relationship.

James Bray discovered that most stepchildren in the early years of stepfamily life view the stepparent like a coach or camp counselor.2 Such people have limited authority with children and provide instruction, but they are not “parents.”

Smart Stepparenting: Have Realistic Expectations

Stepparents need to learn to relax into their role and not expect too much of themselves. To expect too much is to set themselves up for disappointment and frustration. Biological parents also need to relax and let stepparents and stepchildren carve out their relationship.

James Bray discovered that most stepchildren in the early years of stepfamily life view the stepparent like a coach or camp counselor.2 Such people have limited authority with children and provide instruction, but they are not “parents.”

Smart Stepparenting: Enjoy the Relationship You Have Now

The cardinal rule for stepparent bonding is to let the children set the pace for their relationship with you.

If they welcome or seek affection, then go for it. If they remain distant and cordial, honor that as well. If they follow your rules and respect your decisions, continue to assert your given authority.

Focus on the Family Magazine: Another Way to Celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a ballerina doll: Nothing epitomizes grace and balance like a ballerina, and a good wife even more so. A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. . . . She is clothed with strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:10,25).

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a shovel: This is a Smokey Bear shovel so we can put out sparks before they become raging fires. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26-27).

TrueU.org | Student Lounge: Home for the Holidays

Your hope that they will treat you as a grown-up is entirely legit — but it’s also understandable that many parents have trouble making the shift. And, let’s face it, you’re staying under their roof and it’s within their prerogative to ask you not to come and go at all hours of the night.

Economics, and Other Excuses is behavior has been dishonoring to everyone involved. He’s defrauded you by taking advantage of your affections while dating another. He’s defrauded his girlfriend by being double- minded: looking to you for certain of his needs to be met apart from his relationship with her (such behavior would be considered an emotional affair if he were married). And in so doing, he’s revealed the weakness of his own character. Not to mention the way all of this dishonors God.

Despite your emotions toward him, on a rational level surely you can see that his behavior is what we would have, in an earlier day, ascribed to a cad.

He has proven himself unworthy of your loyalty. Even if he dropped his girlfriend today and asked you to marry him tomorrow, why would you willingly align with a man who doesn’t recognize (or if he recognizes it, doesn’t think it’s wrong to embrace) unfaithfulness?

Answer

But we may not ask him to force a man, woman, or child to love and trust him. To deliver them from overwhelming temptation: yes. To give them every opportunity: yes. To reveal his beauty, his tenderness, his forgiveness: yes. But to force a man against his will to bow the knee: not in this life. And to force a man to trust him: never.83Said another way, the Lord will not save a person against his will, but He has a thousand ways of making him more willing. Our prayers unleash the power of God in the life of another individual.

Husbands and Wives: Clinging to Christmas

aring for the widowed, the fatherless and the struggling saints (and saints-to-be) all around us, provide daily opportunities to serve rather than demand service. To be like Jesus is how we cling to Christmas.

May each of us keep Christmas throughout the year.

Office Hours: Not Enough “If only I could expect nothing, I’d know that I’d got there. If only I could let everything be only what it is. Then I wouldn’t have any more of these immature disappointments.

Seeing glimpses of the created makes us long for god more which is good.

JOURNEY TO NARNIA

emember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters. Aslan’s words, in a very real sense, are the essence of Lewis’ soul. The story he is telling carries a deeper, eternal message — one we all long to hear; one we’re actually all helping to create with our lives. The signs he describes point to the ultimate truth: the gospel of Jesus Christ. Aslan is a symbol as well, and much more than just the king of Narnia — he is symbolic of the King of kings.

The Trouble with Lies

So go ahead. Just determine to be a young woman of truth. Build a trustworthy reputation so people know that you’re a person of your word. Let them know that you mean what you say. And if you blow it? Instead of lying, try asking others for forgiveness. They’ll think even more of you!

TrueU.org | Women’s Hall: A Single Blessing

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised” (1:21, NIV). Job did not sin when he was afflicted. He questioned God, he searched for answers, he came close to cursing God. But he didn’t. I sometimes wonder if Job meant it when he praised God that day. I wonder if he could truly praise God in the midst of his grief. Either way, he did it. He worshipped his God, who had the ability to give and take away. He accepted the good and the bad. He realized that his circumstances did not change the goodness of God’s character.

Focus on the Family Magazine: The Gift of Good Will

For example, when Dad says in front of the children, “Your mother is late, just to irritate me,” he discredits his wife and plants seeds of doubt in the children’s minds about Mom’s good will. The children also wonder about Daddy’s heart for Mommy.

Clubhouse Magazine

This is the story of the birth of Jesus Christ — the fulfillment of the words God spoke through the prophets. Prophet (reading from scroll): A young girl will have a Son and He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace .

GIRLS 101: ASK THE EXPERTS The Player: a selfish guy who disregards girls’ emotions and hops from one girl to the next to get what he wants. The Flirt: a guy who is immodest in his behavior; misleading girls and not always sincere with his words. Best Guy-Friend: focused on Christ and wants to encourage me to grow closer to Christ; who knows how to make me laugh; no hidden intentions; supportive; gentlemanly. A Catch: confident not cocky; communicates well; a spiritual leader who is growing in Christ; loyal; makes his family a high priority; cares about how he presents himself to the world; tuned in to the heart of God.

I Thought I Was a Christian

You’ll still choose wrongly and make mistakes from time to time. But when you do, go to Christ with a repentant heart (being genuinely and humbly sorry for what you did with no plans to do it again)

The Chronicles of Narnia:
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Aslan tells Edmund’s siblings not to bring up their brother’s betrayal again: “What’s done is done,” he explains (Psalm 103:12; 2 Corinthians 5:17 and Hebrews 10:17). As he presents Edmund to the court at the castle Cair Paravel, he calls him “Edmund the Just” (see Romans 5:19).

The Chronicles of Narnia:
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Aslan tells Edmund’s siblings not to bring up their brother’s betrayal again: “What’s done is done,” he explains (Psalm 103:12; 2 Corinthians 5:17 and Hebrews 10:17). As he presents Edmund to the court at the castle Cair Paravel, he calls him “Edmund the Just” (see Romans 5:19).

Family.org — Focus Over Fifty — Obesity: Battling the Middle-age Spread

First is the emotional and spiritual component. Researchers have found that the root cause of overeating is an the attempt to meet emotional needs such as unconditional love, significance and security.

Cognitively, food feels like it nurtures us, giving us a sense of control, and a false belief that we are not being deprived. This pseudo-comfort dissipates as soon as we consume our fill of food, often leaving us feeling unloved, out of control and empty. Obviously eating is not the solution for emotional starvation; Christ is our answer.

Begin all lifestyle changes with prayer. Whenever you feel the urge to eat and you know you’re not hungry, seek God’s comfort. Pray and ask Him to show you clearly the difference between emotional and physical hunger, and act accordingly. Keeping a prayer journal. Expressing your emotions freely may help you let them go and turn them over to God.

TrueU.org | Women’s Hall: A Single Blessing

through the tears and with much resistance, I grudgingly decided to praise God for this time in my life. Right there on my bed, through hiccupy sobs, I glorified Him for my singleness, and I asked Him to make me thankful for it. “I praise you for this season of my life,

This is a good article on the honesty of praying continuously with no apparent blessing.

My Inner Mommy War

Of course, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I could face divorce someday, though I don’t think I will. We might face financial ruin tomorrow, though, of course, I hope we don’t.

But what I’ve come to realize is that my financial security, whether I’m working or not, is not in my own hands. My financial security — in fact, my entire security — is in God’s.

My Inner Mommy War

Of course, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I could face divorce someday, though I don’t think I will. We might face financial ruin tomorrow, though, of course, I hope we don’t.

But what I’ve come to realize is that my financial security, whether I’m working or not, is not in my own hands. My financial security — in fact, my entire security — is in God’s.