Session Notes

What to Expect from Your Child: Age-Appropriate Discipline:

“Time-Out. Many parents use time-out for all behaviors all the time. However, for time-out to work, it should be used as one tool in an arsenal of other discipline techniques for ages 2 to 8. Some basic guidelines for time-out include: Make it short — 1 minute for each year of your child’s age.Eliminate reinforcers. Your child should not be able to play, watch television, etc. Use a timer. Restart the time if your child leaves time-out.Use other discipline techniques if time-out does not work. Removal of privileges. Taking away toys, activities or outings can be an effective way to manage inappropriate behavior for children ages 18 months and older. To make sure this technique works for you: Choose a meaningful privilege that your child will greatly miss.Follow through on warnings to remove privileges. Remove the item for a short amount of time (differs by age — several hours for a 2-year-old but several days for a 12-year-old).”

The Essentials of a Healthy Home: The Vitamin of Discipline:

“In the same way, when your child messes up, don’t break the peace of your home. Step off the penalty – and do it consistently. Don’t reason with the little guy. Discipline him. If you withhold discipline from your child, you may regret your choice when he hits his preteen years and decides he just doesn’t want to listen to you anymore. When there are no painful consequences to disobedience, children find it much easier to tune out their parents. Many times, we as Christian parents think disciplining our children simply means that we don’t allow our kids to do or watch certain things. There’s a place for prohibition. But that is not the core of discipline; rather, it’s to find a way to help the child experience negative consequences proportionate to his bad behavior. And the goal is not to control or break the will. The goal is to build within our children a wise, internal standard that will guide them when they have to make moral choices on their own.”

Just Us :

“No. There’s no one else. I don’t want to date anyone else. I want it to be just us.’ I began to hear the Theme from Rocky in my head. ‘Really? What changed your mind?’ ‘Time changed my mind,’ she said. ‘I just needed more time to think and more time with you. I wasn’t interested in anyone else, but I just wanted to make sure this was where God was taking me. I had to pray and seek God and try to follow His lead. Thank you for being patient with me while I figured this out. I hope it wasn’t too frustrating for you.’ ‘God was helping me, too. You bring out the patient side of me,’ I said.”

Calling Godly Parents: Uphold His Commands as a Sign and Witness to the World:

“When the boys were young, we lived on a cul-de-sac. Most of our neighbors knew each other but were not close. The oldest member of the community was an elderly widow who had huge feet resulting from a rare disease. She often was unable to move about without great distress. William, the boys and I visited her frequently for prayer and encouragement or just to find out if she needed anything. From time to time, we would do her grocery shopping and make sure that her medicines were taken properly. Even though she had a son nearby and other neighbors had lived there longer, we felt it was our Christian duty to serve this needy widow. At first, the boys were somewhat afraid of her, until we shared with them the important work we were doing. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1:27). The boys soon became eager to deliver small packages and perform small chores on her behalf. In this way, our whole family was blessing the Lord our God and announcing our faith to the whole community.”

Calling Godly Parents: Use God’s Commands as a Curriculum for Life:

“Read biographies of famous Christians – Author Yolanda Powell, an African American, suggests role models like Dr. George Washington Carver, Booker T. Washington and Sojourner Truth. Quietly discuss the character of those you observe working, such as waitresses in a restaurant. What is their attitude? Are they engaged and diligent? Do they seem eager to do a good job? These are characteristics we want our children to understand and model. Such attributes are reflected in Colossians 3:23: ‘Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.’”

Calling Godly Parents: Talk of God’s Commands Consistently and Continuously:

“Don’t let teachable moments pass you by. Unexpected moments may provide the best opportunities for teaching a lesson about life and God. Teachable moments often arise out of spending time together. They can also be planned. For instance, use local and national news stories to focus family discussion and prayers. Whether local crimes or national disasters loom across the pages of news headlines or the nightly news screen, “real-life events” are an important way to show children the importance of prayer and dependency upon God.”

This article stresses we are just to be faithful in what God is calling us to do and leaving the outcome to Him.

Calling Godly Parents: Teach with Diligence:

“Even when our children don’t quite “get it” or are seemingly unaffected by our words, we are called to press on, looking for relevant and meaningful ways to give them the Word of Life. It is vital that we impart God’s laws with passion and conviction in a lively and energetic manner. We are our children’s first and primary teachers. None of us can afford to leave teaching to the Sunday morning experts. No matter what is said in these formal settings, children tend to mirror the habits and practices of their parents – both good and bad. Their value systems are being developed by our participation in their lives or lack thereof. Teaching with diligence is best if you begin by using your area of strength and ability. Author Yolanda Powell is a minister, writer and dramatic orator, so she uses a lot of dramatic readings, skits and sing-alongs. Your occupation or talent can be used likewise. For instance, a carpenter might use analogies from furniture design or home construction to expand on Scripture.”

Shovel Writings: Luke 13:1-9

“I tell you, Nay: but except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.” Twice Jesus challenged the commonly held assumption that tragedy victims suffer because they have done something particularly bad. So, why would Jesus then make a statement to perpetuate the same fallacy he had exposed? Perhaps we have read something else into his words. Some suggest that the answer is found by inserting the correct meaning of the word repent, and it does … partially. The fact is that the Greek word for repent (metanoia) does not mean “turn from sin”, but refers to a change in perception or a change of mind. I say “partially” because even with the correct interpretation of “repent” Jesus’ statement still does not establish just another view on what one must do to keep from perishing. So, what am I saying? I am telling you that this change of mind is not just a clarification of a partial statement but is totally integrated into the whole of Jesus’ encounter with the people.

So many pastors have pounded the pulpit, demanded that people repent of their sins and condemned them to hell (Or at least God’s contempt) for failing to stop those sins. Ironically, it is that judgment and condemnation that Jesus came to change our minds about — knowing that this self hatred actually causes us to keep on in our broken ways.

So few of us ever stop to try and assess whether or not we have any idea what Jesus is talking about when we read His words. We simply take our English language understanding of the translated words and assume that, if we know the meaning of the word, we understand Jesus’ point.

Perhaps it’s time to change tactics?

Husbands and Wives: Curse of Codependency:

“Admitting We Are Powerless to Change Our Husbands I know firsthand how hard it is to keep our eyes off a husband’s behavior, because it’s a monumental struggle for me, too. But the reality is that no amount of energy, no magic formula – nothing will bring about true change in another person. However, if we take the same energy and apply it to ourselves, God can do great things in our lives. First we have to really “get it – down in our heart of hearts – we are powerless to change our husbands.” In his classic book, If Only You Would Change, Christian marriage counselor Mark Luciano tells us “you have to admit that you cannot manage your marriage problems by yourself. This means that you recognize the futility of your attempts to change your spouse.” Put simply, we must admit that the strategies we have used to change our husbands have not worked and that every attempt to change or control them will ultimately fail. Admitting we are powerless requires surrendering our husbands and our lives completely to God. It requires accepting that this is our reality. This doesn’t sound like much of a solution, but it is the only solution that will calm our screaming fears and bring peace to our troubled hearts. We must surrender the obsession to try to change our spouses because it is this obsession that blocks our emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth.”

Common Home-School Concerns: Socialization:

“Stough added: “Insofar as self-concept is a reflector of socialization, it would appear that few home-schooled children are socially deprived, and that there may be sufficient evidence to indicate that some home-schooled children have a higher self-concept than conventionally schooled children.” Another concern says home educators overprotect their children from the real world. Researcher Barbara Bliss argues that “protection during early, developmental years for purposes of nurturing and growth is evident in many arenas: plant, animal and aquatic. Why should it be considered wrong or bad in the most vital arena, human development?”"

spiked-essays | Essay | The curious rise of anti-religious hysteria

Morality marketed by people who do not necessarily ‘believe in such things’ is unlikely to set the world on fire. That is why they resent and hate the Narnia film so much. For all its faults, the movie attempts to transmit a powerful sense of belief, bravery and sacrifice. Such sentiments are alien to a cultural elite that regards the expression of any sort of strong belief as another form of that dreaded fundamentalism. Envy, bad faith and instrumentalism: these are the raw materials that fuel today’s anti-religious crusade.

Why the liberal elite hates C.S. Lewis with such a raving passion.

Focus on the Family Magazine: Chronic Kids, Healthy Spirits:

“ven for children with extreme physical or mental impairment, God has created an avenue by which He can reach their souls – through their senses and through their parents. A few nights later, Jordan’s voice woke me. “Mommy?!” I stepped into his room, “What”s wrong?” “I’m afraid of the dark.” Then in a whisper, “And diabetes. Will you sing and pray with me?” I sang “Jesus Loves Me,” prayed with him, then snuggled the blankets under his chin. “Mommy? Will you get my Bible?” I handed it to him, and he tucked it between his arms close to his heart. “Now I can sleep.” I marveled at the simplicity. He knew his comfort and security rested with God.”

TrueU.org | Student Lounge: Does Philosophy Matter?:

” the misinterpretation of Colossians 2:8 as an argument against philosophy highlights at least two important principles of biblical interpretation (hermeneutics). First, passages must be interpreted in context; this principle of hermeneutics helps avoid the common error of pulling Bible passages out of context and, in the process, misinterpreting the text. Second, passages need to be interpreted in light of what other biblical passages have to say on the matter.”

This article has some good points about proper biblical interpretation. As well there is encouragement to reason. finally one needs to ultimately depend on christ rather than worldly principles.

Boundless-Who’s on First?:

“she said something about how we’ve known each other for almost two years. I said yes. She said we’ve had a lot of fun together. I said yes. And then she said some other stuff, I don’t remember what – you can’t listen to everything a girl says or it would wear you out. I think I must have said yes to that too, which was probably a mistake. The next thing I knew, she was talking about how a girl needs a commitment or something. And I guess it took a few minutes for what she was saying to sink in, and I asked ‘What do you mean?’ And she said ‘commitment’ and spelled the word. And I said ‘It’s not like we’ve been dating or anything.’ And she said ‘What do you call it when we’ve been seeing each other exclusively for two years?’ And I said ‘What do you mean exclusively? I do things together with lots of other people.’ And she said ‘Not with other girls you don’t’ and I said ‘Girls and guys both’ and she said ‘What girls?’ And I said I couldn’t think of any and she asked me why I was holding back and I said I didn’t know what she was talking about and then all of a sudden she was crying and she left the table and the waiter brought the check and he looked at me like I was dogmeat and I couldn’t find her and so I went home, and I keep trying to phone her but she won’t return my calls “

An excellent article of the fear of commitment/failure.

Boundless: The Beloved:

“We’ve been offered many explanations. From one religious camp we’re told that what God wants is obedience, or sacrifice, or adherence to the right doctrines, or morality. Those are the answers offered by conservative churches. The more therapeutic churches suggest that no, God is after our contentment, or happiness, or self-actualization, or something else along those lines. He is concerned about all these things, of course, but they are not his primary concern. What He is after is us – our laughter, our tears, our dreams, our fears, our heart of hearts. Remember his lament in Isaiah, that though his people were performing all their duties, ‘their hearts are far from me’ (29:13). How few of us truly believe this. We’ve never been wanted for our heart, our truest self, not really, not for long. The thought that God wants our heart seems too good to be true”

A passionate call to those who have admitted the deepest desire of their hearts: to be loved.

Time Enough for Me:

“Truly effective people learn how to separate the wheat from the chaff. They let the small stuff go. I’m not so good at this. One time, while turning in a torturous twenty-page paper, I suddenly realized that I’d left the bibliography at home. I was so frustrated that I nearly broke down in front of my teacher. His stern face softened and he shook his head at me. “Jenny, there are big things in life, and there are little things. This is a little thing.”

A few words of advice on not sweating the small stuff.

Letter to a Christmas Christian : “(Large numbers of self-proclaimed Christians tell pollsters they don’t believe in hell.) In short, we don’t really need a Savior, just a little helping hand. Naturally, no one of us who buys into this self-serving imaginary theology wants to meet the real Christ. The real Christ, after all, talks constantly of our deep and thorough sinfulness, and leaves no room for any conceit about our own virtue. Moreover, He insists that He is the only path to salvation - and He means not merely behaving ourselves in accordance with some of His teachings, but trusting in His atoning work on the cross.”

This article has a few good points. One is that we you get real with your faith that constant uneasy feeling that you are lying to yourself, that you are afraid to face the truth will be gone.

What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like? : “The first difference lies with the man’s motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive - to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (see Matt. 24:38; Luke 20:34-35). Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father’s house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple – always with marriage in view. I am not advocating arranged marriages; rather, I am pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it. Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is ‘dating for fun’ acceptable, it is assumed that ‘practice’ and learning by ‘trial and error’ are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the ‘right person’ is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is none. How many examples of ‘recreational dating’ do we see among God’s people in the Bible? Zero.”

Taking a Relationship from Good to Great: “In the movie When Harry Met Sally, Harry declared that men and women can’t be just friends – I set out to prove they could. I saw it as a safe way to take a chance – to see if a relationship could grow without the pressure of formal dating and terms like “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” If the friendship began to disappoint, I could always just say, “oh, maybe you misunderstood me, we’re just friends.” After a year of introducing her as “my friend,” Candice wanted me to be honest about the nature of our relationship. “Is this dating or something else?” she asked. “How do you describe all the time we spend together? Is this relationship going somewhere?” I knew I needed to answer these questions – I couldn’t just leave our relationship in limbo. My Wandering Eye The next challenge was a little more indirect. Candice said she wanted me to define our relationship before the new school year started. She said it was important for new students to know whether she was available or not. This was a weak spot for me. In 4 years of college, 3 years of college administration and then graduate school, I had grown to look forward to fall and the batch of new women it brought to campus. Jerry Seinfield once said, “Guys don’t want to see what’s on television – they want to see what else is on television.” “

Not Your Buddy : “The most helpful book I never read was a little relationship book called He’s Just Not That Into You. The title alone provided the answer to a decade’s old inner struggle I’ve had. You know, the one that causes a single female to hope a relationship will develop out of a friendship despite a complete absence of evidence of the fact. In her book Relationships, former college professor Dr. Pamela Reeve discusses three levels of friendships: acquaintances, companions and intimate friends. Dr. Reeve observes that men and women cannot sustain an intimate friendship without one or the other harboring romantic expectations. She recommends that men and women avoid being intimate friends outside of courtship and marriage. Companions, she says, generally spend less than two hours together a week. When a man indicates he would like to see the woman more than that, but claims they are ‘just friends,’ he sends a mixed message. Dr. Reeve writes: ‘One party can selfishly enjoy all the benefits of a relationship, the warmth and relief from loneliness, the satisfaction of the attention that feeds the ego %u2014 all without the accompanying commitment. One party luxuriates, while the other party feels cheated and is left with deep unsatisfied longings.’”

Guardian Unlimited | World dispatch | Seminal questions

The purpose of religion (As opposed to faith) is power. For a person or a religious entity to have power, they must have control. For a religion to be in control, there have to be areas over which that religion can claim governance and the only way that governance can be legitimized is through convincing adherents that there is a great evil present in an area that must be avoided.

This must be done in areas that are well WITHIN the bounds of what people would actually do in their day to day lives or there is insufficient shame to gain the power desired. (Simply regulating theft and murder is not sufficient for we are seldom enough drawn to commit such that shame levels would remain low and the population would thus remain uncontrollable.)

Very few religions have, in that pursuit of shame based power, been able to resist the lure of regulating marital sexuality for it is one area where people the world over are innately (And correctly) convinced that it should be an area of total freedom thus (in the presence of those false* rules) resulting in continual transgression…

What is intriguing about this article is that most of it could have been cut -n-pasted from fundamentalist evangelical publications of last year. Christianity was supposed to be about freedom but fundamentalist christianity has become so good at using shame and rules to seize power that Islam is falling behind — and has had to steal a page from our book.

*Note: if you doubt that the presence of those rules are false, have a look at the Greek word usage under Hebrews 13:4. There are no rules governing loving sexuality between a husband and a wife.

Rethinking the Gift of Singleness : “Is singleness biblical? Now, compare those beliefs to what singles are told today. “God is your husband.” “Bloom where you are planted.” “There are plenty of ministries you can help with during this time.” “Be content.” “Make the desire of your heart Jesus, not marriage.” The desire for marriage has been placed on a collision course with the desire for God, the One Who made marriage in the first place. With this kind of pitting, singles are often reduced to extolling singleness, much like a witch having the grace to drown to prove innocence. In the same vein, these messages dissuade young men from seeking marriage because of the false validation they receive for embarking on the less taxing challenges of mere service activities.”

This is a stunning and highly controversial assault on the promotion of singleness most of the Christian Church seems to have begun. Agree or disagree, it’s definitely worth the read…

Rethinking the Gift of Singleness : “Is singleness biblical?”

This is a stunning and highly controversial assault on the promotion of singleness most of the Christian Church seems to have begun. Agree or disagree, it’s definitely worth the read…

TrueU.org | Student Lounge: 10 Essentials for Every Christian College Student: “It’s one thing, though, to start college and quite another to finish it. In fact, most drop out somewhere along the way and just under 25 percent of Americans have actually completed a college degree.”

How to actually succeed at college.

Family.org: Pregnancy Resource Ministry: “Fifteen years have passed and only recently have I experienced emotional and spiritual freedom. I share my story, not to exalt my pain, but to exalt God, who heals. I want to encourage women with similar pasts because many post-abortive women feel they’re the “only one.” And, I want to share keys to open the door to God’s healing and hope.”

How to deal with the memory, guilt and pain of an abortion.

TrueU.org | Men’s Hall: One Plus One Equals One: “Now, does this idea of unity mean that we lose our identities as men and women when we enter into marriage? Absolutely not, but we’ll get to that in a later article. For now, I simply want to make the point that when we accept the oneness found in uniting a man and a woman, we display God’s image in all its glory. If we reject this oneness by refusing to get married (for reasons other than being called to lifelong celibacy) or by failing to work together in marriage, the image that we present will only be a shattered and distorted one.”

This article points out that one needs to pray to accept oneness in marriage to glorify God.

End of the Spear: “Nate showers him with affection: ‘Do you know how far away the sun is? Do you know that’s a fraction of how much your daddy loves you?’ And after Steve asks his dad about shooting the Waodani if they attack, Nate responds with one of the movie’s most powerful lines: ‘We can’t shoot the Waodani, son. They’re not ready for heaven – we are.’ As the son of a murdered man, Steve, according to Waodani culture, is supposed to avenge his father’s death. He refuses to do so, even when the man responsible tells him of his guilt. Rather, Steve extends mercy. ‘No one took my father’s life,’ he explains. ‘He gave it.’ The Waodani men who killed the missionaries are perplexed over the fact that the foreigners never attempted to shoot at them, despite having guns. “

This movie emphasizes the biblical directive that Jesus was speared but he didn’t spear back.

What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like? : “The first difference lies with the man’s motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive - to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (see Matt. 24:38; Luke 20:34-35). Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father’s house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple – always with marriage in view. I am not advocating arranged marriages; rather, I am pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it. Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is ‘dating for fun’ acceptable, it is assumed that ‘practice’ and learning by ‘trial and error’ are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the ‘right person’ is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is none. How many examples of ‘recreational dating’ do we see among God’s people in the Bible? Zero. The category of premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context of grievous sexual sin. The motive for dating or courting is marriage. The practical advice I give the singles at our church is, if you cannot happily see yourself as a married man (or woman) in less than one year, then you are not ready to date.”

The Power of Lust: “t her repeated requests, Samson finally gives in: “No razor has ever been used on my head, because I have been dedicated to God as a Nazirite, set apart to Him since birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me.” Sensing she had heard the truth at last, Delilah waits until Samson falls asleep on her lap. Calling to Philistine conspirators hidden in the room, she signals a man to shave Samson’s hair. When they are finished, she screams, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” Jumping up to take them on just as he always had, Samson soon discovers he lacks the power to resist them. The Lord has left him. He is alone now and as weak as other men. Looking around for Delilah, he sees only the open door through which she has fled. Outside is darkness.* He was the classic tragic hero — an otherwise strong human being destroyed by a single character flaw. Samson, the strongest man of his generation, a real he-man, yet so pitifully vulnerable to pride, so tragically unable to conquer his tendency toward lust. Still, God used this spiritually weak man. God used Samson’s strength to keep the Philistines off balance and to keep the Israelite nation alive until she was ready for the next stage in God’s redemptive purpose. God used the tragedy of Samson’s life for good. God will have His way; He is the real superhero.”

Family.org: Pregnancy Resource Ministry: “For a time, Heather regretted telling anyone. ‘I felt my whole identity had changed. Heather the worship leader was now Heather, the one who had been raped.’ She couldn’t bear seeing people who knew her story, so she hid at home, embarrassed, isolated and alone. ‘But they [the community] loved me anyway,’ Heather said. Their care for my family was tangible, and they loved us so much that there wasn’t room in my heart for bitterness and shame. You can’t hold love and shame in your heart simultaneously.’ Just Love As the months passed and Heather’s baby grew, so did her enthusiasm. Heather went shopping and bought clothes for herself as well as the necessary baby items. With the experience was no longer tainted by painful memories. ‘It was a beautiful moment of receiving a new life,’ Heather said. The only emotion left was love. Rachel is now a bubbly and energetic 9-year-old. She’s Daddy’s girl, and Steve is enthralled by her. There have been moments when he has looked at Heather and asked, ‘Can you imagine if we would have never had a daughter?’”

Hot sex treats common cold.

Just too much fun not to post it…

HOMOPHOBIA: A Scientific Non-Political Definition

Calling all responses to homosexuality other than it “is a normal sexual variation” as homophobic is anti-scientific and decidedly anti-therapeutic. Even in the Textbook of Homosexuality & Mental Health (Cabaj, 1996) published and sponsored by the American Psychiatric Association, the position is taken that homosexuality is a normal variation of human sexuality and not a mental illness. There is no doubt that homophobia exists. There is also no doubt that there are rationalized and irrational anti-homosexual attitudes. However, it would be very valuable for society in general, and therapists in particular, to have a clear picture of homophobia separated from all the other topics that have been lumped under that rubric.

This is probably the most technical link I have ever posted. It is a detailed analysis of what a phobia is and how such is specifically applied to homophobia. It is also a solid explanation of how a loving, caring therapist performing reparative therapy for a client who requests such is nowhere near that definition.

The Psychology Behind Homosexual Tendencies (Parts 1-2)

Many priests grow in holiness and happiness in their ministry as a result of the healing of their childhood and adolescent male insecurity, loneliness and anger and, subsequently, their same-sex attractions.

So says Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons, a psychiatrist, author and contributor to the Catholic Medical Association’s document “Homosexuality and Hope.”

Fitzgibbons shared with ZENIT how some seminarians, candidates for the seminary, and priests can make strides in resolving their homosexual tendencies, and what bishops and religious superiors can do to help them.

20+C+M+B+06: An Epiphany : “Many churches begin their observance of Epiphany with a recitation or even reenactment of the three wise men bringing their gifts to the baby Jesus. The gifts help us to see who Jesus is: gold is a gift one gives a king; frankincense, a special incense with curative powers that was used by the Israelites in front of the Tent of Meeting, shows us that Jesus is the true tent of meeting, the place we go to meet God; and myrrh, an embalming resin used to prepare bodies for burial, shows us that Jesus was born to die. The wise men’s gifts, in other words, make something about Jesus manifest — and the wise men themselves, as the first people who will take word of Jesus to a larger audience, show forth the infant king to their corner of the world. During Epiphany, churches also read about Jesus’ baptism, a dramatic event at which God ’showed forth’ something of Jesus’ uniqueness. This time of year, I am often reminded of a minor character in the movie Amistad, a slave who becomes a Christian; after coming to faith, he sees crosses everywhere he looks. That is what Epiphany invites us into: a new kind of seeing.”

Focus on the Family Magazine: Becoming Your Daughter’s Ally: “Look for something positive. If your daughter believes you are on a witch hunt to find the negatives in what she enjoys, she may wall off part of her heart from you. If you approach the culture with curiosity and humor, your daughter will be more likely to watch and listen for your response. Connect the culture to stories. Use positive movies, magazines, music and celebrities to talk about your life story, your daughter’s story or the story of an entertainer in relationship to values, life goals or beliefs. As you connect her faith to real people and issues, she’ll be better equipped to resist temptations. I thank God for my daughter and for the opportunity to be her ally during her transforming teenage years. By using the culture rather than allowing it to infiltrate unaware, I hope to set her up to be wise and discerning in her choices. You can do the same for your child.”

This article while good, leaves the question how much to do you use another’s life to teach your child before it becomes judgemental. God seems to say it is the spirit in which you do it – you need to also share your faith in Christ’s transformation of them.

TrueU.org | Men’s Hall: Iaaieeeaaieeeaaieee Will Always Love You (As Long As You Meet My Expectations): “I Should Have Been a Hermit I should’ve abandoned humanity and embraced solitude. Imagine the freedom, the control — no one to tell me things I don’t want to hear, no one to interrupt my thoughts, no one to frustrate my plans. Unless you’re thinking that I’m some sort of masochist, you’ve probably guessed that there’s not much extroverted blood flowing through me. Rather, I am a shifty-eyed introvert who moves through the office hallways like a burglar hoping to avoid detection. My idea of bliss is a life of uninterrupted introspection, free from socially awkward mingling. Just the idea of it excites me to the point of losing all bladder control. The reason that the reclusive life sounds so heavenly to me is that it would guarantee a great deal of personal sovereignty. I like to be in control of my life and when other people are involved, what I want is not always what happens. Wrenches in my plans tend to make me resentful and prone to unrestrained staring. Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I like human beings. I just don’t like it when they don’t submit to my wishes. I am, however, slowly realizing that my bid for unlimited control might not be that biblical and perhaps not all that different from tyranny.”

This article talks about the dangers of being omniscient in choosing a spouse rather than just seeking God’s best.

Husbands and Wives: Restoration: Four Hurdles You Must Face: “An intact marriage covenant creates an atmosphere of security and trust. That security and trust is what Kim needs in order to give herself freely to Jim. Only a restored sense of security and trust, borne of Jim asking and receiving forgiveness for breaking the covenant, can begin to restore Kim’s confidence, peace and joy.”

Physical Intimacy and the Single Man : “a man defrauds a woman when, by his words or actions, he promises the benefits of marriage to a woman he either has no intention of marrying or if he does, has no way of finally knowing that he will. “

This is a relatively good article on facilitating communication, verbal and non-verbal between the sexes. What may be considered innocent: holding hands, arm around the shoulder, soft kisses, long talks over coffee all send the message “Your mine.” Live now in the light of the future you desire. What is done before marriage can rob a woman of the confidence, trust, and faith that she will need for her husband, which may be you.

suvalleynews.com – Researchers confirm role of massive flood in climate change

Turns out that nearly every major civilization around the world having a flood myth wasn’t just collective human stupidity. Here comes the science…

Husbands and Wives: Point 5: Guys Fear Losing Control: “That’s because men fear losing control, and the thought of completely abandoning themselves to a God they cannot see is terrifying to a man. A wise woman understands this about her husband and gives him the freedom to test the waters at his own pace and in his own way. For a man who fears losing control, one of the best things his wife can do is simply to be the “aroma of Christ” and a “fragrance of life” (2 Corinthians 2:15-16). To be peculiar but not weird, considerate of his doubts, gentle with his feelings and patient with his fears.”

WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH SAME-SEX MARRIAGE?:

This article makes the interesting point that we do have the right to marry — just not the right to change God’s command of who to marry.

What scripture really says about the role of women in marriage

Excerpt:
For centuries, the church has been telling women that their role is to do what their husbands want and, if their husbands happen to be Godly, they will like it.

It’s time the church woke up and realized that if we are to continue demanding that women do everything men say as our definition of submission, then we also have to demand that people abandon their labor unions to do everything their employers say and bow to atrocities like abortion or mass murder that governments are perpetrating.

Jesus came to set us free from the bondage we were all under and part of that bondage was the war of power and control that is on between men and woman. He came to set men free to be the powerful, relationally initiatory and passionate beings they were created to be and for women to finally again stand as the beautiful, relationally responsive and powerful life giving beings they were created to be.

He is still calling us to be like the radical cultural revolutionary He was – not to be puppets. He came to tell us that the greatest among us was to be the servant of all. He came to teach us to love – not to avoid or to control. He came to declare war on injustice, on oppression, on the legalistic control that had enslaved His people and destroyed their hearts. He came to set the captives free to be fully human and fully alive. That applies equally to both men and women.

I just wonder if we in the church will ever stop shooting at each other long enough to stand side by side as sons and daughters of the Most High King and finally mobilize for the real war for the hearts and souls of the world.

She Wants a Baby!: “Bringing life into the world is entirely different from purchasing a car or buying a dog. Something as grand and miraculous as a baby goes beyond the realm of calculated rationality and into the realm of faith and risk-taking.