Session Notes

What to Expect from Your Child: Age-Appropriate Discipline:

“Time-Out. Many parents use time-out for all behaviors all the time. However, for time-out to work, it should be used as one tool in an arsenal of other discipline techniques for ages 2 to 8. Some basic guidelines for time-out include: Make it short — 1 minute for each year of your child’s age.Eliminate reinforcers. Your child should not be able to play, watch television, etc. Use a timer. Restart the time if your child leaves time-out.Use other discipline techniques if time-out does not work. Removal of privileges. Taking away toys, activities or outings can be an effective way to manage inappropriate behavior for children ages 18 months and older. To make sure this technique works for you: Choose a meaningful privilege that your child will greatly miss.Follow through on warnings to remove privileges. Remove the item for a short amount of time (differs by age — several hours for a 2-year-old but several days for a 12-year-old).”

The Essentials of a Healthy Home: The Vitamin of Discipline:

“In the same way, when your child messes up, don’t break the peace of your home. Step off the penalty – and do it consistently. Don’t reason with the little guy. Discipline him. If you withhold discipline from your child, you may regret your choice when he hits his preteen years and decides he just doesn’t want to listen to you anymore. When there are no painful consequences to disobedience, children find it much easier to tune out their parents. Many times, we as Christian parents think disciplining our children simply means that we don’t allow our kids to do or watch certain things. There’s a place for prohibition. But that is not the core of discipline; rather, it’s to find a way to help the child experience negative consequences proportionate to his bad behavior. And the goal is not to control or break the will. The goal is to build within our children a wise, internal standard that will guide them when they have to make moral choices on their own.”

Just Us :

“No. There’s no one else. I don’t want to date anyone else. I want it to be just us.’ I began to hear the Theme from Rocky in my head. ‘Really? What changed your mind?’ ‘Time changed my mind,’ she said. ‘I just needed more time to think and more time with you. I wasn’t interested in anyone else, but I just wanted to make sure this was where God was taking me. I had to pray and seek God and try to follow His lead. Thank you for being patient with me while I figured this out. I hope it wasn’t too frustrating for you.’ ‘God was helping me, too. You bring out the patient side of me,’ I said.”

Calling Godly Parents: Uphold His Commands as a Sign and Witness to the World:

“When the boys were young, we lived on a cul-de-sac. Most of our neighbors knew each other but were not close. The oldest member of the community was an elderly widow who had huge feet resulting from a rare disease. She often was unable to move about without great distress. William, the boys and I visited her frequently for prayer and encouragement or just to find out if she needed anything. From time to time, we would do her grocery shopping and make sure that her medicines were taken properly. Even though she had a son nearby and other neighbors had lived there longer, we felt it was our Christian duty to serve this needy widow. At first, the boys were somewhat afraid of her, until we shared with them the important work we were doing. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1:27). The boys soon became eager to deliver small packages and perform small chores on her behalf. In this way, our whole family was blessing the Lord our God and announcing our faith to the whole community.”

Calling Godly Parents: Use God’s Commands as a Curriculum for Life:

“Read biographies of famous Christians – Author Yolanda Powell, an African American, suggests role models like Dr. George Washington Carver, Booker T. Washington and Sojourner Truth. Quietly discuss the character of those you observe working, such as waitresses in a restaurant. What is their attitude? Are they engaged and diligent? Do they seem eager to do a good job? These are characteristics we want our children to understand and model. Such attributes are reflected in Colossians 3:23: ‘Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.’”

Calling Godly Parents: Talk of God’s Commands Consistently and Continuously:

“Don’t let teachable moments pass you by. Unexpected moments may provide the best opportunities for teaching a lesson about life and God. Teachable moments often arise out of spending time together. They can also be planned. For instance, use local and national news stories to focus family discussion and prayers. Whether local crimes or national disasters loom across the pages of news headlines or the nightly news screen, “real-life events” are an important way to show children the importance of prayer and dependency upon God.”

This article stresses we are just to be faithful in what God is calling us to do and leaving the outcome to Him.

Calling Godly Parents: Teach with Diligence:

“Even when our children don’t quite “get it” or are seemingly unaffected by our words, we are called to press on, looking for relevant and meaningful ways to give them the Word of Life. It is vital that we impart God’s laws with passion and conviction in a lively and energetic manner. We are our children’s first and primary teachers. None of us can afford to leave teaching to the Sunday morning experts. No matter what is said in these formal settings, children tend to mirror the habits and practices of their parents – both good and bad. Their value systems are being developed by our participation in their lives or lack thereof. Teaching with diligence is best if you begin by using your area of strength and ability. Author Yolanda Powell is a minister, writer and dramatic orator, so she uses a lot of dramatic readings, skits and sing-alongs. Your occupation or talent can be used likewise. For instance, a carpenter might use analogies from furniture design or home construction to expand on Scripture.”

Shovel Writings: Luke 13:1-9

“I tell you, Nay: but except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.” Twice Jesus challenged the commonly held assumption that tragedy victims suffer because they have done something particularly bad. So, why would Jesus then make a statement to perpetuate the same fallacy he had exposed? Perhaps we have read something else into his words. Some suggest that the answer is found by inserting the correct meaning of the word repent, and it does … partially. The fact is that the Greek word for repent (metanoia) does not mean “turn from sin”, but refers to a change in perception or a change of mind. I say “partially” because even with the correct interpretation of “repent” Jesus’ statement still does not establish just another view on what one must do to keep from perishing. So, what am I saying? I am telling you that this change of mind is not just a clarification of a partial statement but is totally integrated into the whole of Jesus’ encounter with the people.

So many pastors have pounded the pulpit, demanded that people repent of their sins and condemned them to hell (Or at least God’s contempt) for failing to stop those sins. Ironically, it is that judgment and condemnation that Jesus came to change our minds about — knowing that this self hatred actually causes us to keep on in our broken ways.

So few of us ever stop to try and assess whether or not we have any idea what Jesus is talking about when we read His words. We simply take our English language understanding of the translated words and assume that, if we know the meaning of the word, we understand Jesus’ point.

Perhaps it’s time to change tactics?

Husbands and Wives: Curse of Codependency:

“Admitting We Are Powerless to Change Our Husbands I know firsthand how hard it is to keep our eyes off a husband’s behavior, because it’s a monumental struggle for me, too. But the reality is that no amount of energy, no magic formula – nothing will bring about true change in another person. However, if we take the same energy and apply it to ourselves, God can do great things in our lives. First we have to really “get it – down in our heart of hearts – we are powerless to change our husbands.” In his classic book, If Only You Would Change, Christian marriage counselor Mark Luciano tells us “you have to admit that you cannot manage your marriage problems by yourself. This means that you recognize the futility of your attempts to change your spouse.” Put simply, we must admit that the strategies we have used to change our husbands have not worked and that every attempt to change or control them will ultimately fail. Admitting we are powerless requires surrendering our husbands and our lives completely to God. It requires accepting that this is our reality. This doesn’t sound like much of a solution, but it is the only solution that will calm our screaming fears and bring peace to our troubled hearts. We must surrender the obsession to try to change our spouses because it is this obsession that blocks our emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth.”

Common Home-School Concerns: Socialization:

“Stough added: “Insofar as self-concept is a reflector of socialization, it would appear that few home-schooled children are socially deprived, and that there may be sufficient evidence to indicate that some home-schooled children have a higher self-concept than conventionally schooled children.” Another concern says home educators overprotect their children from the real world. Researcher Barbara Bliss argues that “protection during early, developmental years for purposes of nurturing and growth is evident in many arenas: plant, animal and aquatic. Why should it be considered wrong or bad in the most vital arena, human development?”"