Session Notes

Husbands and Wives: Toward Spiritual Awareness:

” This is typical of Jesus. First, He attracts us to Himself until we long to know Him more intimately, and then He reveals Himself to us more and more as we respond to the knowledge we already have of Him. Our Personal Circumstances We can easily become so preoccupied with our own circumstances that Jesus seems to get lost in the shuffle. The disciples walking the Emmaus Road with Christ were bogged down in their despair about His crucifixion. When Jesus came near them, all they could see were their seemingly adverse circumstances. To call them shortsighted is an understatement. They could see only the superficial – the natural elements - and were blind to the supernatural. Their interpretation of life made no room for the possibility of a Divine breakthrough into their situation.”

Choosing a Religious Home: Choosing a Religious Home:

“Take a minute to determine what you’re looking for. Choose what interests you, then print out a quick assessment of your spiritual wishes. Do you want positive spiritual, moral, and social training for your children? Resources to enrich your family? What other benefits do you want? 2. Take another minute to determine your current religious preferences. Describe what matters to you, then print out an assessment of your spiritual preferences. What’s your religious background? Your spouse’s religious background? What other spiritual factors are significant to your family? 3. Then take another minute or two to decide what options to pursue. Discover and begin exploring your local options. Learn how to get the most out of the church or other spiritual community you decide to attend.”

This has some good information on intiaiting your church relationships

Male multiple orgasm

Ok, somewhat against my better judgment and only as per multiple requests:

This is a simple article focused towards understanding the development of the male ability to experience multiple orgasm — and thus provide much higher levels of sexual satisfaction for their wives then is normally provided by men simply focused upon/uncontrollably driven towards ejaculation.

Normally it takes intensive coaching and a number of months of careful effort to develop this skill. Usually, we undertake it in connection with extensive whole couple training in sexual technique — subsequent to a clear movement towards Biblical surrender being walked out by the couple as per I Corinthians 6:19 and onwards.

Please do not send me nasty emails on this one. I am fully aware that this skill was first recorded by practitioners of Eastern Mystical arts. It, however, requires only physical musculature training and an understanding of the ejaculatory sequence to master — not disassociative meditative technique. IT IS NOT AT ALL RELATED TO THE NEW AGE MOVEMENT!!! Titus 1:15 states very clearly that:

To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled. (KJV)

It should be noted that this article sacrifices a great deal of detail for the sake of brevity and should not be considered as anything close to a definitive work on the subject. Most couples attempting such without intensive coaching experience a high level of frustration and little success…

TrueU.org | Men’s Hall: One Size Doesn’t Fit All: Are You Put Off by a Feminine Faith?:

“When it comes to the issue of loving God, we should not get tense and uptight when we don’t worship the same way as others. God didn’t use a cookie cutter to create us; He has designed us with such variety that it’s only natural that we will worship Him in different ways. When I read through the Bible, I see Abraham building altars, David dancing or writing a psalm, Mary sitting adoringly at Jesus’ feet, Peter’s mother-in-law serving – yet all of these people loved God and were worshipping Him while doing different things. Can you even imagine Jesus looking down on Mary and saying, ‘Quit staring at me! If you really want to show your love, go build me an altar, just like Abraham did! Those were really cool, and I’d like more of them.’ We wouldn’t go to Zaire or Peru and expect the people there to worship God exactly the same way that a Baptist from Georgia or an Episcopalian from Boston would do, but often when we deal with young people, we expect the energetic kids and the meditative kids to fit into one mold when it comes to devotions or quiet time. I found that it just doesn’t work that way. God didn’t use a cookie cutter to create us; He has designed us with such variety that it’s only natural that we will worship Him in different ways. Some of you guys may have your hearts opened up to God when you get out of doors. God seems more real to you when there’s a mountain in the background, and you’re hiking under a big expanse of sky. Others of you really like books – even the reference kind. You’re moved by concepts, and you want to come out of your devotional time with some new understanding. Still others may be more aesthetically inclined; you’re the artistic type, and you prefer creative and original music, or even good architecture to open your heart to God’s presence.”

This is an excellent article to counter legalism. We all worship/love differently. The goal is still the same, even if our hearts are opened in various ways.

Talking to Tweens About Love, Sex and Relationships: Transition:

“Girls have a desire for connection, intimacy and safety. When we acknowledge this, we can help our teen girls meet this need in healthy ways. Most adolescents try to have their needs met among their friends. How they act out that intimacy imperative – particularly without guidance from parents – can lead to trouble. Gurian stresses that far too many parents abandon their parenting duties when their children transition to the teen years. Puberty is not miniadulthood. Many social scientists are decrying the trend of reduced parenting once a child hits middle school. Social research is actually saying that children need their parents, even if they don’t act like they do. A number of women tend to re-enter the workforce when their children become teenagers. However, in reality, the young teen years are frightening for children, and they need the stable presence of an adult.”

Husbands and Wives: The New Workplace Romance:

“‘The new infidelity is between people who unwittingly form deep, passionate connections before realizing that they’ve crossed the line from platonic friendship into romantic love. Eighty-two percent of the 210 unfaithful partners I’ve treated have had an affair with someone who was, at first, “just a friend.”‘ From 1991 to 2000, Glass discovered in her practice that 50 percent of the unfaithful women and about 62 percent of unfaithful men she treated were involved with someone from work. ‘Today’s workplace has become the new danger zone of romantic attraction and opportunity,’ Glass writes. Today’s careers offer more opportunity for extramarital affairs. Group interaction in coed workplaces, frequent travel and long hours create more opportunity and temptation than ever. Glass writes, ‘all of these changes and others allow individuals to mix freely where once they were segregated and restricted.’ Studies published in the American Sociological Review and the Journal of Marriage and Family show that before 1985, divorce rates were about equal among working and homemaking women; however, ‘between 1985 and 1992, the annual probability of divorce among employed wives exceeded that for nonemployed wives by 40 percent.’”

This article makes great points about the importance of openness in marriage.

Focus on the Family Magazine: One-Flesh Intimacy:

“Jesus tells us in Mark 10:7-8 that marriage creates an intimacy of one flesh. The phrase one flesh teaches us a great deal about how real intimacy develops and is cultivated in marriage relationships. If we become one flesh with our spouse, then we must open all aspects of our emotional, spiritual and physical lives to that person to the point that we are not unknown in any dimension.”

This is a very good article stresses that spirtual intimacy can only occur between tow people who share Jesus as their Saviour. It makes a great case for believers to be married to one another. I do not see how one who is struggling throughout life to deal with faith issues would not want someone to give that mutual support.

Addicted to Adultescence :

“Kidults aren’t using their time at home to prepare for marriage or to serve others; they’re using it to stall and to serve themselves. Sadly, just like Matt Swann, who we met earlier, marriage is exactly what kidults are trying to avoid. And his sentiments aren’t atypical. Consider 26-year-old Jennie Jiang, for example, who admitted, ‘I want to get married, but not soon. I’m enjoying myself. There’s a lot I want to do by myself still.’ Or Marcus Jones, another twentysomething, who stated that he might be interested in marriage, just not anytime soon. ‘It’s a long way down the road,’ he said. Right now, Marcus explained, ‘I’m too self-involved.’ What are all these ‘important,’ self-involving things that kidults are delaying marriage for?”

Journaling Example 2:

“I was encouraged by this word as He confirmed that I am where He wants me to be for now. I asked Him about anointing upon my life and His direction for anointing for the present time. ‘Michael, you know that I have anointed you for healing and teaching and in administrative gifts. Whatever else I have for you will emerge as you learn. Always keep yourself open to learning more. My revelation gifts are part of My grace. Never ever think or believe you have arrived. Always there is more. Truth – seek truth. Never be content to rest in your current understanding. Press on, but be sure that it is toward Me, always toward Me, rather than the “thing.” My blessing will be yours. Michael, I love you.’ Lord, I love You, too. Thank You for everything. You are beyond my understanding, but I want to press in, nevertheless. I asked the Lord about maintaining the anointing. ‘Michael, you do need to become more aware of My abiding presence, for I am with you wherever you go and whatever the circumstances. Fasting is more than refraining from certain foods, or going without at certain times. That can be, and often is, nothing but religiosity and when it is that, it does not please Me. Fasting is giving up something which you could have according to your resources and opportunities and choosing instead to give those resources, or your time to Me. You go without for My sake. Yet, I do not need what you have except that I choose to use you as an instrument of My generosity, or outreach. So, going without food is beneficial to your body, for its cleansing from time to time and will allow you to come closer to Me when you pray and seek My face. Yet I would rather that you set for yourself a continual lifestyle of self-sacrifice, joyfully walking in My ways in the Kingdom, enjoying the benefits of being a consecrated vessel pouring out My provision, as the widow’s jars did in Elijah’s time. This is what will maintain My anointing and My presence and My ability to use you as a vessel submitted to Me. Love is the key, is it not? That’s My new command and the key to entering in to all Christian activities. Look first to Me and love Me for Who I am. Let Me fill you with My love. You will be motivated, gifted and anointed, consecrated to carry out My wishes.”

Four Keys to Hearing God’s Voice – Two-way Conversations with God!:

“As I fix my gaze upon Jesus (Heb. 12:2), becoming quiet in His presence, and sharing with Him what is on my heart, I find that two-way dialogue begins to flow. Spontaneous thoughts flow from the throne of God to me, and I find that I am actually conversing with the King of Kings. It is very important that you become still and properly focused if you are going to receive the pure word of God. If you are not still, you will simply be receiving your own thoughts. If you are not properly focused on Jesus, you will receive an impure flow, because the intuitive flow comes out of that upon which you have fixed your eyes. Therefore, if you fix your eyes upon Jesus, the intuitive flow comes from Jesus. If you fix your gaze upon some desire of your heart, the intuitive flow comes out of that desire of your heart. To have a pure flow you must first of all become still, and secondly, you must carefully fix your eyes upon Jesus. Again I will say, this is quite easily accomplished by quietly worshiping the King, and then receiving out of the stillness that follows.”

Discernment: Recognising God’s Voice:

“This art can only be learned by trial and error. The voices we experience are quite subtle, and discernment requires us to become sensitive to subtle differences between the different movements upon our soul. Yet we will never recognise the voice of God with absolute clarity, and anyone who claims to hear God clearly and with certainty should be avoided – they have not even begun to know spiritual realities if they make such a claim. Some Simple Rules There are simple rules we can follow in discerning God’s voice and these can make a very big difference for us. If we know them, we will make fewer mistakes. Many people make very bad decisions in their life because these basic rules have been ignored. Someone who knows what God is like knows what his voice is like. As an exercise, write down a list of single words that describe what you think God’s voice is like (for example: gentle, patient, kind, forgiving, encouraging). Then write a separate list of what you think the voice of the bad spirit is like (for example: harsh, condemning, impatient, negative).”

This is an inspired article which is simple to understand.

TrueU.org | Student Lounge: Joy and Pain:

“James does tell us that we are to ask God for wisdom in getting through these situations. God will provide it for us if we only believe that He will. All of this seems to be a refining process – a chance for the fruits of joy and patience to ripen within us. Our hardships are to be seen as discipline from a loving father, from someone who ‘disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness’ (Hebrews 12:10, NIV). Hebrews addresses this topic as well, painting a picture of our Father shaping us into who He wants us to be. It says that we should ‘[e]ndure hardship as discipline; God is treating [us] as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? – No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it’ (Hebrews 12: 7, 11, NIV). Our hardships are to be seen as discipline from a loving father, from someone who ‘disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness’ (v 10). That’s when the passage becomes convicting. It’s difficult to come up with a way to justifiably scorn righteousness.”

This is an encouraging article to remind us there is a purpose in our troubles. However I disagree that they produce righteousness because Christ has already given us his righteousnes,

Henze and Associates: Contact us

We are looking for bloggers or site operators (or those affiliated with such) who wish to set up a formal linking arrangement with our site. Prospective linking site must relate somehow to the healing of broken hearts and lives and be grace based in nature. If you believe that a cross linking arrangement would benefit your site, please use the above mail form link to contact us. We would love to hear from you!

Blunt Note: If your site focuses on burdening people down with rules (that no one ever managed to keep) and judgments (that just force them further into the brokenness that has ruled their lives) in the name of Christ, then don’t even bother.

Sincerely, Cal

Welcome to MY world:

Some things just have to be reposted… No other commentary is necessary.

By popular request:

I Want To Be A Clone

I’ve gone through so much other stuff
That walking down the aisle was tough
But now I know it’s not enough -
I Want To Be A Clone.
I asked the Lord into my heart.
They said that that’s the way to start,
But now you’ve got to play the part.
I Want To Be A Clone.

Be a clone and kiss conviction goodnight.
Cloneliness is next to godliness – RIGHT!
I’m grateful that they showed the way
‘Cause I could never know the way
To serve him on my own -
I Want To Be A Clone.

They told me that I’d fall away
Unless I followed what they say;
Who needs the Bible anyway?
I Want To Be A Clone.
Their language, it was new to me,
But “Christianese” got through to me;
Now I can speak it fluently.
I Want To Be A Clone.

Be a clone . . .

“Send in the clones……”
(Uh, I kinda wanted to tell some of my friends and people about it, you know?)
WHAT????
You’re still a babe, you have to grow,
Give it twenty years or so.
‘Cause if you want to be one of his,
Gotta act like one of US!

Be a clone . . .

So now I see the whole design:
My church is an assembly line.
The parts are there, I’m feeling fine.
I Want To Be A Clone.
I’ve learned enough to stay afloat,
But not so much I rock the boat.
I’m glad they shoved it down my throat -
I Want To Be A Clone!

(Everybody must get cloned)

Husbands and Wives: Why Your Wife Hates Sex and What to Do About It:

” Female sexual arousal demands a mental and emotional energy that many women just don’t have by the end of the day. It’s not enough just to tell your wife to relax and let some things go. She needs your help! Putting the kids to bed, washing the dishes, or making your wife a cup of tea can be powerful means of getting her attention and energy. She feels like an object. At times, it becomes very difficult for your wife to understand the difference between your sexual desire and your desire for her. If she feels like she has simply become an object to meet your needs, she’ll resent having sex. Many wives feel like sex is something they have to do for their husbands rather than a gift that spouses freely give each other. The enjoyment and spontaneity is lost. Just chalk it on the ‘to do’ list with the ironing and carpooling. You can combat this by refocusing on your wife’s emotional needs. Win her affection the way you did when you were dating: loving notes, dates, flowers, and flirting. Don’t assume that sex with her is a given just because she is your wife. As you focus on her needs, you will find her much more responsive to yours. She never has a chance to feel desire.”

This article makes a excellent point about the need for anticipation.

Answer:

“Though some readers will disagree with me, ‘love at first sight’ is a physical and emotional impossibility. Why? Because love is much more than a romantic feeling. It is more than a sexual attraction or the thrill of the chase or a desire to marry someone. These are responses that can occur ‘at first sight,’ and they might even lead to the genuine thing in time. But those feelings are usually very temporary, and they do not mean the person who experiences them is ‘in love.’ I wish everyone understood that fact!The primary difference between infatuation and real love is where the emphasis lies. Temporary romantic attractions tend to be very selfish in nature. A person may say, ‘I can’t believe what is happening to me. This is the most fantastic thing I’ve ever experienced! I must be in love.’ Notice that she’s not talking about the other person. She’s excited about her own gratification. Such an individual hasn’t fallen in love with someone else; she has fallen in love with love!Genuine love, by contrast, is an expression of the deepest appreciation for another human being. It is an intense awareness of his or her needs and strengths and character. It shares the longings, hopes, and dreams of that other person. “

This is a good article that discusses the way love develops is by continuing to know more of another.

Giving Your Child the Excellence Edge:

“We can give our children an edge in life by teaching them ten basic skills or strategies. These strategies will help them grow into productive adults who live fulfilling lives and form lasting relationships. The best place for children to learn these principles is at home, where we adults are practicing them to enhance our own lives.”

Adult ADD Strengths

A counter cultural assessment of ADD/ADHD from a perspective of benefit rather then deficit.

Husbands and Wives: The Servant Leader:

” Being a leader does not mean making all the decisions. Nor does it refer to being the boss in marriage, in the church, or in society at large. Leadership implies taking the initiative, accepting responsibility, and shouldering the weight of accountability before God. DeHann defines a servant as “responsive, respectful, willing, loving, self-sacrificing, and submissive.” Servanthood does not mean unthinking obedience. What it does mean is wiling ness to lower one’s self, to humbly serve another person, and to put the best interests of someone else above your own enjoyment. Christ, the perfect servant-leader excelled to the fullest in demonstrating all the attributes of both servant and leader as described above. In our society, a leader who is not characterized by giving orders and commanding respect is often labeled weak and ineffective. Stuart Scott in The Exemplary Husband also writes of leaders who serve. He states: Serving does not lessen one’s authority or leadership. Instead, it enhances it – especially the leading-by-example aspect. One who leads as Christ leads is always thinking of others, not self. He is willing to sacrifice his own comfort and even his own well-being for those he leads. He is willing to put himself last,”

TrueU.org | Men’s Hall: When It Comes to Love, I’m Pro-Choice:

“Just think about our approach to finding a mate. We shop around asking the question, ‘Who will make me the happiest?’ Once we’ve made our decision, we decide to marry that person. Then, after a while, we begin to have unhappy times and slowly but surely we begin to wonder if we’ve made the wrong choice. Maybe I should’ve waited, we think. Maybe this other person over here was the right person because they would’ve made me happier. Then, of course, we join that 50 percent of people who asked the same question about happiness. So then, what is the right question? You guessed it: What can I do to make my spouse happy? If we ask this question, then all of a sudden, we don’t have worry about finding just the right person. In other words, we must choose to love and be happy rather than waiting for others to make us happy. In fact, what I find wholly fascinating and repulsively ironic about our attitude on love is that, on the one hand, we would rather die than not be able to choose our spouse and, on the other hand, we would rather divorce that same spouse than choose to love them. We want the option to choose without the responsibility to choose.”

This is a great article talking about action of the covenant of love rather than the romance/feeling. It is important to love, not try to get someone to buy into our definition of make me happy.

Pew Research Center: Are We Happy Yet?

One way to find out is by way of a statistical technique known as multiple regression analysis, which gauges the relationship between each factor and happiness while controlling for all the other factors. That analysis shows that the most robust correlations of all those described in this report are health, income, church attendance, being married and, yes, being a Republican. Indeed, being a Republican is associated not only with happiness, it is also associated with every other trait in this cluster. Even so, the factor that makes the most difference in predicting happiness is neither being a Republican nor being wealthy – it’s being in good health.

Fact or Republican party propaganda? You decide…

TrueU.org | Women’s Hall: Short-Lived, Emotional Attachment at First Sight:

” The kind of love marriage cultivates – the kind of love marriage demands – is something much more transforming and profound than mere ardor. Neighborly Love Romance, eros, falling in love, infatuation – all of it feels great, and romantic love has a place in the Christian life. But the most important kind of love between a Christian man and woman is not love shaped like a heart (or a heart-shaped candy box). The most important kind of love a Christian man and woman can cultivate is love that is shaped like the cross. Christian love is modeled on God’s love for us – a love expressed in creation and a love expressed on the cross. And it is a love that is directed toward an other – or, more precisely, to two others: to our beloved and to the One who made us. Romantic love, even infatuation can play a part in the Christian emotional landscape in part because it gives us a glimpse of loving our neighbor.”

This is a brilliant article on the roots of the lies we, especially as women often have about romance. Real love is agape love. This is Christian love. It will transform marriages so eros love will be more present. This article also discusses the meaning of idolatry in our relationships is a good way.

Reducing the Risk of Premarital Adolescent Sex: Reducing the Risk of Premarital Adolescent Sex:

“Talk about healthy and unhealthy relationships, and train your adolescent to avoid situations that increase the likelihood of a sexual incident. Make them streetwise about the general course of relationships, dating, risky situations, and the ugly reality of date rape. Encourage supervised, structured, nonpressuring group activities with the opposite sex as opposed to single dating situations, especially for adolescents in junior high and early high school. The object should be to learn how to talk and have fun without romantic expectations or sexual pressure. Group activities such as church picnics or youth group outings are generally healthier than dances or other situations in which pairing up is necessary. Talk to your adolescent about the qualities that ultimately matter in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex. Shared values (especially spiritual orientation), mutual respect, easy conversation, and enjoyment of everyday activities count far more heavily in the long run than good looks, money, popularity, or intense romantic attraction.”

The Mom You’re Meant to Be: Understand Your Child’s Temperament:

“Positive or negative mood: When he was a baby, did he wake up in a happy mood or cry and fuss? High- or low-intensity emotions: Is your child easygoing or does he protest and cry when frustrated? Easily distracted or highly focused: Does your baby want his bottle (or older, want to finish his game) and can’t be distracted from that desire? If so, he’s probably a more focused child. Attention span and persistence level: Does your child have a long attention span and keep persevering when working on a puzzle until it’s completed. Or does he give up when frustrated? Adapted from The Mom You’re Meant to Be by Cheri Fuller (Focus on the Family/Tyndale House, 2003). Used by permission.”

This article discusses is an wonderful way the need for sensitivity in a child’s temperament in discipling and shaping the will.

Yahoo! News

CHICAGO – Some members of a Lutheran parish on Chicago’s far South Side said they are outraged police arrested the Rev. Jimmy McCants in the middle of his sermon.

Every time, in those dark moments when you think the Body of Christ just can’t sink any lower and you can finally relax, someone pulls out all the stops and manages, yet again, to stun us with their raw stupidity, blatent arrogance and total disregard for the public face of Christ and His church in this world…

Focus on the Family Magazine: Created for Relationship:

“his means we have to choose to die to ourselves and think of others first, every day, in our marriages, our families, our friendships and with our fellow man. What does that look like? It’s sharing the fruits of the Holy Spirit that He has instilled in us: showing love to the unlovely; passing on God’s joy to the brokenhearted; imparting peace to those in turmoil; modeling patience in frustrating situations; demonstrating kindness to everyone you meet; revealing God’s goodness in thought and deed; walking in faithfulness every day; and living with gentleness and self-control in every situation, even when we have to confront wrongdoing or hurt.”

This article has some good points about the way to confront when when in love.

Stand to Reason:

Brilliant!

Teens and Eating Disorders: How to Help:

Teens and Eating Disorders: Teens and Eating Disorders:

Teens and Eating Disorders: Characteristics and Health Risks:

Teens and Eating Disorders: Common Risk Factors:

Teens and Eating Disorders: Diet Gone Bad?:

Teens and Eating Disorders: Prevention:

TrueU.org | Women’s Hall: I’d Follow the Rules If I Knew What They Were: Dating in an Ever-Changing World:

“Nowhere is interacting with the opposite sex more confusing than in Christian circles, where some people date, a shrinking number forego dating in favor of ‘courting’ and some have declared themselves temporary monks. Even the thing we call ‘dating’ has its share of variables: When or if to hold hands or kiss, when or if to say ‘I love you,’ what the first date means, what the second date means, what the third date means …”

This article provides a few good points about the differing expectations that a relationship will progress towards marriage.