Session Notes

You Can Survive the Stormy Teen Years: Don’t Rock the Boat:

“Save your big guns for those crucial confrontations. Try hard not to hassle your kids. Ask yourself this question: ‘Is it worth risking everything of value to enforce a particular standard upon this son or daughter?’ If the issue is important enough to defend at all costs, then brace yourself and make your stand. But think through those intractable matters in advance and plan your defense of them thoroughly. The philosophy we applied with our teenagers (and you might try with yours) can be called ‘loosen and tighten.’ By this I mean we tried to loosen our grip on everything that had no lasting significance, and tighten down on everything that did. We said ‘yes’ whenever we possibly could, to give support to the occasional ‘no.’ And most importantly, we tried never to get too far away from our kids emotionally. Also, try hard not to hassle your kids. They hate to be nagged. If you follow them around with one complaint after another, they are almost forced to protect themselves by appearing deaf. And finally, continue to treat them with respect, even when punishment or restrictions are necessary. Occasionally, you may even need to say, ‘I’m sorry!’”

A good model for parenting teens to adulthood.

The Value of Full-Time Moms: Grace-Filled Relationships:

“Defined rules and expectations. Boundaries are stated and are there to help people grow. People aren’t there to serve the rules.

4. Open and honest dialogue. Messages and feedback are clearly communicated with words, not hints.

5. God as the Source. Our sense of value comes from God, not from the behavior of another person.

6. Children as joy-givers. Enjoy letting your kids explore, imagine and make mistakes.

7. Accountability. Rather than use blame to punish and control wrong behavior, teach responsibility for ones own choices.

8. “Head skills.” Thinking is used for the purpose of learning, not for defending oneself.

9. Valid and useful feelings. Recognize emotions as opportunities for family members to connect and support one another in making wise choices in response to how we feel.

10. Outside/inside matching. Private life is the same as public life. Rather than putting on a front, families are concerned with how healthy their relationships are. What is real is more important than how things look.”

Loving Christ While I Cheer for the Yankees :

“But the answer is not to keep away from sports. Rather, it is to ‘take sports captive and make them obedient to Christ.’ What transforms sports devotion into a transforming activity is no different than anything else – a Christ-like posture of knowing that all we do will either move us further along the journey or drive us back. Where one ends up in this spiritual journey is determined by that delicate and well-known balance between God’s unmerited grace that fuels all of our lives, and our disciplined commitment to live in a manner consistent with that grace. We work toward this balance by humbly cultivating a life of devotion in prayer, Christian community, study of Scripture, and service. That is what will enable us, more and more, to bring every part of our lives under Christ’s reign. A theologian recently wrote that what the church needs desperately is a theology of things such as sleep, eating, working, and leisure 2. I would add sports to the list. As Christians we need to cultivate an attitude of theological reflection about those very things that fill up most of our daily hours. “

the article begins slow, but makes great points that could be applied to the dilemma even putting a person above God

Thinking About Adoption?: Foster Care Adoption:

“Even babies may have emotional issues because of their lack of attachment to a caregiver, but the problems become more pronounced with age. (Newborns may show distress after losing all the familiar sounds of the womb.) All children need love, yet they may have to be taught how to give and receive it, starting with the knowledge that you can be trusted. Many foster children have learned that caregivers aren’t forever. Be prepared to consistently love and accept the child, even when she tests your willingness to do so, but maintain high expectations for respect. When you adopt an older child, you might have to help him unlearn emotional survival skills acquired from being abused, neglected, rejected, moved from home to home, or feeling like he doesn’t belong anywhere.”

Dietary Recommendations for Children and Adolescents::

” Parents should remember that they are responsible for choosing foods that are eaten and when and where they are eaten. The child is responsible for whether or not he or she wants to eat and how much. Two natural parental impulses, pressuring children to eat and restricting access to specific foods, are not recommended because they often lead to overeating, dislikes, and paradoxical interest in forbidden items.142,143 “

This is a good point so parents aren’t trying to control their children but providing healthy structure.

Discipling Your Child as a Single Parent: Enoch: The Challenge to Walk With God:

“Enoch: The Challenge to Walk With God

Enoch chose to walk with God when he became a father: “After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God” (Genesis 5:22). When Enoch looked at his firstborn baby’s chubby cheeks, rosebud mouth and curling eyelashes, and when that little fist wrapped tightly around Enoch finger, his childs physical, emotional and spiritual needs must have overwhelmed him. So Enoch began walking with God. And Enoch kept on walking with God one day at a time, 365 days a year, for 300 years. Enoch still made time to walk with God every day.

When, like Enoch, have you faced more responsibilities than you could handle? Did death or divorce force upon you the incredible burden of raising your children alone? Then, like Enoch, start walking with God. When I’m home and weather permits, I walk with a couple of friends for two and a half miles. We abide by two basic rules when we walk: We must walk at the same pace, and we must walk in the same direction. The same rules apply to walking with God. Enoch chose to walk at God’s pace, which meant moment-by-moment obedience to His will.Disobedience, neglect or ignorance of that Will would cause him to get out of step. In addition, Enoch had to walk in the same direction God walked, which meant moment-by-moment surrender to Gods will. He couldnt go in his own direction. Enoch could not insist on his own way or he would find himself on a path different from Gods.”

An excellent article on the importance of modelling.

Being Seen :

“Too wonderful, indeed. I love how J. I. Packer expands on this thought in Knowing God by writing, ‘There is tremendous relief in knowing that His love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery now can disillusion Him about me, in the way I am so often disillusioned about myself, and quench His determination to bless me.’

But God has searched us and He knows us and He pursues us with a determined and passionate love. The truth is, if life were a big game of Hide and Go Seek, even your best hiding place could never keep you hidden from the God who created you and loves you. He not only sees you. But he is seeking you. Experience the thrill of being found by Him. “

Why Can’t I Memorize?:

There are some good tips so the Word is part of your day, transforming you more into God’s image. However I disagree strongly with negative consequences being used in this manner.

Bible Verse Alphabet:

A Fresh View of Blue: Thoughts on Depression :

“The Catholic theologian Henri Nouwen believed that our wounds can be a source of healing for others. Not only do they help us to become compassionate, but they humble us. As we work toward healing in our own lives, we can help bring healing to others.

For Smith, part of integration involved accepting the fact that depressive episodes might come and go for the rest of his life. In the same way that an alcoholic must come to terms with the unhealthy way in which their body responds to alcohol, so too, a person who is prone to depression can prepare themselves for the possibility of another bout later on.

Perhaps the most hopeful aspect of this book is that Smith (after losing a job and a girlfriend) ultimately becomes realistic. He realizes that he may not ever be able to work a typical 40-hour week, although he can lead a productive life. He marries a woman who is able to be primary breadwinner, and he works from home writing, cooking, cleaning and gardening. Both he and his wife thrive. Although their solution is obviously not workable for all, his realism is refreshing.

He’s not the only person who has struggled with depression and found a way to a productive, if unconventional life. Historically, many of the people who made the greatest contributions to society struggled with depression or bipolar disorder, including Michelangelo, Isaac Newton, Emily Dickenson, Gerard Manley Hopkins, and Winston Churchill. Two of our nation’s most influential presidents also suffered from mental illness – Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.”