Session Notes

Husbands and Wives: Men and Women: Nerds and Free Spirits:

“Your Free-Spirit spouse will not come to any more meetings if all you do is tell him or her what to do. The first draft of the budget is your chance to have your ’say.’ After that, sit back and listen. Accept the fact that your mate has valid input. Remember, you are doing this to coax your spouse into better money management and financial unity and believe me, your concessions are a small price to pay for unity. The budget committee needs to have rules. First, keep the meeting brief. It’s a budget committee meeting, not a Camp David accord. Nerds like me to love to look at all possible scenarios and projections. However, when the objective is agreement with your Free-Spirit spouse, you have about a 17-minute window of opportunity before he or she tunes out. “

Aside form the labels there offer a few key empathy building points for agreement.

News from Agape Press

Cohen’s methods have raised some questions, however; and he has lately taken sharp criticism over a May 23 appearance on Cable News Network (CNN), in which he demonstrated a technique that involves cuddling a male client in his lap. Another of the unusual therapy techniques depicted involved a client hitting a pillow with a tennis racket while shouting the name of a parent or other individual who elicits painful childhood memories.

Cohen, who refers to himself as a reorientation therapist, explained the “holding therapy” exercise as a means of using “healthy touch” on clients, who very often were “touch deprived” as children. He says this technique is one of the most effective ways to help men and women leave homosexuality.

“They’re hungering for that intimacy and that bonding that they didn’t experience in primary relationships with parents and/or same-gender peers,” the psychotherapist asserts. “So what we have to provide then, in the Christian community, is really mentoring these men and women,” he says, “and a lot of them need healthy touch — hugging, holding, just palling around, buddying around.”

You know, some ideas are so colossally dumb nothing more needs to be said except to mention that this is not reparative therapy in any sense of the term and this is NOT PRACTICED HERE!!!!!

Caught in a Crush :

“These experiences hint at the type of closeness we hope for in the world to come, where we will be known, even as we are fully known, as we experience an intimacy with God and all redeemed creatures that we can only faintly imagine now. The aches we experience remind us that we still live here, in our shadowy bodies and broken world. But our longings can also remind us that we are moving toward something more. On the most fundamental level, our aches point homeward. As Frederick Buechner wrote, ‘Beneath the longing to possess and to be possessed by the beauty of another sexually %u2014 to know, in the Biblical idiom %u2014 there lies a longing, closer to the heart of the matter still, which is the longing to be at last where we finally belong…. When I think of all the beautiful ones whom I have seen for maybe no more than a passing moment and have helplessly, overwhelmingly desired, I wonder if at the innermost heart of my desiring, there wasn’t, of all things, homesickness.’”

This is a great article on dealing with the longings we all have for Heaven which are misplaced onto others. I disagree with the sinful spouses definition. It is more areas which the grace of God has not been realized, the unmet needs of childhood, and the temptation of the Evil one.

Insomnia

Are you dissatisfied with your sleep? Do you routinely become sleepy during the day? Does your bed partner notice any unusual behavior while you sleep? Answering “yes” to any of these questions may mean that you have a sleep disorder. Before considering non-prescription or prescription sleep medications, try the following:

Seems like good advice…

Are Christian Fathers Better Fathers?: :

“evangelical dads spent more time with children playing, helping with homework and talking. They ate an average of 27 more meals a year with their children and were more likely to coach youth sports or lead youth activities. ‘Evangelical Protestant fathers are very involved with their children, which I found surprising, given their tendency to embrace traditional gender attitudes,’ Wilcox noted. So how can you defy society’s expectations and become an even better dad than you already are? -Watch a favorite TV show with your child. Ask him about the characters and storyline. This is a simple way to enter your child’s world and recognize other influences that affect the way he thinks. -Take your son or daughter to a restaurant you both like. Share favorite things and talk one-on-one without the competing demands of other siblings, phone calls or TV. - Keep reading. Even tweens will enjoy reading a book aloud with you. -Include children in projects. Ask them to help you string the Christmas lights, paint the basement or change the oil in the car. The teaching, connecting and fun will be invaluable.”

Part of me wonders if this list is realistic. Can God, then the spouse be kept as higher priority

Teenage Heartbreak:

“A person’s faith is also a good indicator as to the health of the relationship, Matt says. If a guy doesn’t love you for your faith, character and personality, then he’s more than likely with you for other reasons. You can tell how a guy really feels about you by how he treats you, by the things he says to you, and how he chooses to show his affection for you. Don’t forget to check your faith, too. If you don’t have a strong relationship with Jesus Christ, take the time to grow that before you get involved with a new relationship. When things get tough and your feelings start to get overwhelming, remember these wise words of Eleventyseven: Guys and girls may break your heart but [God will] always be there. “

This is a good basic article on determining if a guy genuinely likes you. It is an encouraging reminder that even strong feelings will decline with new circumstances. I also feel grieving is needed.

The Register

This study therefore provides no evidence for the claim that female-pattern cerebral functional lateralisation is likely in gay males.”

Hot on the heals of the discredited, “Gay gene,” comes the theory of the, “Gay mind.” Seems the research can’t back that one either…

BTW: To date, with over a decade of fruitless searching, there has never been discovered credible evidence of a direct causal relationship between biology and sexual orientation. But hey, the search must always continue.

Admitting that same sex orientation is developmental would raise the very real and present specter of healing same sex orientation for those who desire such…

DesMoinesRegister.com

A Des Moines pastor shot a mentally disabled boy with a BB gun after he ignored the pastor’s warning not to knock on his door, police said Tuesday.

No more sissy pastors for Idaho — oh no — mess with this Full Gospel pastor and your hide gets ventilated. Onward Christian soldiers — oh, wait…

Truth is so much more fun then fiction…

Probably the most richly government funded and the most poorly researched program in existence is AA. It is a program that claims to bring freedom to millions — whom it tells will always be alcoholics, must attend meetings for the rest of their natural life and must spend such, “Working their program.” Not surprisingly, it has a failure rate of at least 80% and probably is failing at a rate of 95%. For the curious, here are some references:

There are so many voices it is difficult to determine the original source but the information was initially (Quite accidently) released from AA’s own internal studies — which they have been aggressively working to suppress ever since. The most public airing of the data occurred August 20/2004 at 11:00pm and September 12/2004 at 9:00pm on the Showtime original show called, “Penn & Teller: Bullshit.”
    Due to AA’s efforts, the documents are not widely available so Penn & Teller showed them onscreen during their broadcast. They detail a 95% failure (to cease drinking) rate at 5yrs from date of entry.

In my mind, one of the best secular treatment programs out there is St. Jude . A different but parallel retention statistic is right on their home page as well which states that 95% of people don’t even last a year in the program… Do the math: If 97% of programs are AA based, then it comes out even worse then 95% unless there is some hidden program out there with 10 million people in it… St. Jude runs a treatment program that sounds a lot like a secular Living Water’s/Regeneration Ministries program for chemical addictions.
    This is the future of secular level treatment. They have an independently verified 70% success rate — the best in the industry.

Another voice has been Dr. Jeffrey Schaler (Author of, “Addiction is a choice.”) who solidly disputes both that Alcoholism is a disease or that disease related models (Like AA) have any success in treating the disorder. His claim is that while AA appears to help 5% of people who go through it, 5% of people who undertake no treatment manage to get well on their own.

A third has been Jim Christopher — SOS Sobriety — who is willing to give AA only an 80% failure rate at 2yrs from entry. He then disputes the success of such through a detailed assessment of the group think, thought control, cloning, mystique, self-confessions, group speak, fear of judgment, increasing codependency, unhealthy identification and veneration of texts/leaders as being identical to the functioning of a cult. He questions whether the persons have simply exchanged one addiction — alcohol — for another — thought control.
    He is making a critical assessment here in that he understands that addiction is addiction. Just because the socially unacceptable behavior has stopped does not mean that you suddenly have a fully functional person able to live the fully human lives they were created to enjoy.

A fourth is a gentleman by the name of Dr. Lance Dodes MD (The author of, “The heart of addiction.”) who again disputes the idea that alcoholism is in any way related to a disease. He believes that the root of addiction is emotional pain and the practice of an addiction is a maladaptive strategy of coping with such.
    He, by implication, is probably one of the more aggressive in this area as the entire thrust of his argument is that AA is treating symptoms (The behavior of drinking) — not the problem. Thus, any apparent healing seen can not be legitimate — it’s a mask for the problem that just makes it look good but further shatters the person. (He would probably even dispute the 5%…)

S.M.A.R.T. Recovery program’s web site notes that, to date, the effectiveness of AA and related programs is essentially unproven. S.M.A.R.T is a secular humanist treatment program. They are somewhat less then effective but they are a very interesting read as an option…

It just takes common sense really. Clients who have been in AA tell me that they never wanted to drink more then when they were in the program. By the time you label people addicts, then judge people for their failures and then tell those who are already at the end of their rope to work harder (while holding their wounded feet to the fire), it’s only logical that they need a pain killer…

Here’s the bottom line: Statistically, people will always have a better chance of recovering if they have never been exposed to AA’s alcoholism and drug addiction treatment programs.

Just in case it isn’t already clear, we do not and will not use 12 step programs of any sort.

The Influence of Fathers: :

“Involved fathers find the time to attend their children’s games and recitals. They pull themselves away from the TV to show their children how to change a tire and balance a checkbook. They set firm limits and encourage their kids to do their best even when they fail. Take a look at the questions below. What did you need from your father that he gave you? What did you need but didn’t receive? How did his positive input help you to succeed? How did the negative aspects possibly set a series of consequences into motion that you may still experience?”

This is a good article on the history of the influence of fatherhood and specifics of necessary guidance.

A Date With Dad: :

“Do something different. Sure, your child likes it when you take him out for pizza. But how about getting a slice at a nearby college town and then surprising him with tickets to a game?”

This paternal interaction sets the tone for respect and discernment in her dating years. If Dad is interested in you it will be feel natural for a guy to be deeply interested in you. One will expect nothing less.

HOW SHOULD A GUY CRACK THE GIRL CODE?:

“Does she go out of her way to be near you? You know, like when you u’re sitting with the guys at youth group . . . and she just happens to be in a seat right behind you (on more than one occasion!). Do you sense that she’s making an effort to talk to you? I don’t mean the Glad you’re here-type of small talk. Is she trying to get to know you through conversation? Is she genuinely interested in your life? Is she flirting with you? Whether we realize it or not, girls and guys flirt the same way: awkward body movements, goofy grins, dreamy stares. Bottom line: Don’t try to force romance. Keep your cool, muster up the courage and make an effort to befriend a lot of girls. You’ll know when the right one likes you.”

This are some good guidelines and discernment tools to help determine if a guy/girl will be interested in you romantically.

Strike the root — Newman

In his classic book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis describes “the real snag” in creating a Christian society: “Most of us are not really approaching the subject in order to find out what Christianity says: We are approaching it in the hope of finding support from Christianity for the views of our own party . . . . A Christian society is not going to arrive until most of us really want it: and most of us are not going to want it until we become fully Christian.” This will not happen until enough individuals choose to become Christians. Even then, while our social ills may abate, they will not disappear.

“Now hold on there, Newman,” you are saying. “Wait just a cottonpickin’ minute. Aren’t you cherry picking from Christianity to find support for the views of your party.” Well, my party is unique among political parties in that it is consistent in its commitment to a philosophy which says, among other things, that government cannot solve problems, and that we should therefore not count on it to do so. Jesus, likewise, never suggested that we look to the government to solve our problems.

Paul stated many times that the law existed to teach us about how broken we are as people. It was a schoolmaster, to teach us what it was to be good — and how poor we are at such. The law was simply there to be some sort of standard while we were not yet ready for anything else.

The Law never died. Paul is very clear that we died to the law and that the law is still very much alive to those who are or chose to be under such. It exists for those who have not yet embraced grace.Those who still need such based on their old heart and their lack of ability to hear God which is a direct result of the presence of that old heart.

Libertarianism postulates a society that is largely governed by an extremely limited set of rules — the constitution and the associated violations of person and property. The rest is left up to the person/company as the Government has just walked away. Presumably, in the absence of government control, the public will vote to walk away from the products of abusive companies, band together in unions to fight them and generally orchestrate their lives in the most effective ways possible. There is a lot of truth there for it at least admits that the government is remarkably poor at solving anything other then wars — often not even those. (Reality is that whenever the Church goes looking for the law to assist in the eradication of evil, she always receives a law bent upon controlling her.)

However, Libertarianism is not some postulation of an endless class struggle. It also includes an assumption of the natural goodness of people for it assumes that the poor will be taken care of by private charity etc. It assumes that our delinquent churches will step up and resume their natural and long abdicated role in ministering to the broken — using the funds the now de-taxed society will have to give them for this purpose.

To be sure, the strength of the Libertarian case largely rests on the failure of other forms of government — not it’s own merits… It’s own merits rest on some critical assumptions (the goodness of other people for example) that may or may not be real. Its purpose is the very well justified counter balancing of Big-Brother style thought policing that both Republican and Democrat governments have aggressively pursued — not any reasonable chance of undoing +200yrs of federalism. However, it still begs the question: Would it work better?

My suspicion is that, if Paul was correct in his assessment of the law being a necessary schoolmaster, then Libertarianism is, as it’s proponents assume, the most effective form of government — but only for a society of believers. (The rest still need to be under the law for their hearts are bent upon destruction.)

It would, in either case, certainly bring a level of honesty to society: You would either have a society of class struggle or you will have a society that looks a lot like Acts 2:42-45 which describes First Century Christians who “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship of the breaking of the bread and to prayer . . . . All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to everyone as they had need.”

If Paul was correct, then Libertarianism will likely succeed to the degree that the society governed by such is Christian enough to cope with total freedom and fail to the degree that we are still bound up in avarice and control. Which one are we?

How Do People Get Saved if They Are Not Permitted to Attend Our Church?

If an unsaved person thinks they can spend the whole year having fun at God’s expense and tiptoe into our Bible believing church on Easter Sunday morning thinking that everything is just a-ok with Jesus, they are in for a big surprise! If our Deacons don’t smack ‘em upside their hell bound heads, they’ll at least call the police and have them arrested for trespassing and trying to break an entering into God’s Holy House! Praise Jesus! Friends, You and I both know that modernism has crept into almost every single church in this country except for ours. We put our foot down in 1952 and said NO! to the foolish modern idea of allowing the enemies of the cross - the unsaved - to fellowship with us. It’s unbiblical, anti-Christian, and downright dangerous to allow unsaved people into God’s house. God doesn’t allow it in Heaven, and as it is in Heaven, SO BE IT ON EARTH! Amen!”

Support our ministry: Click here to purchase your, “What would Jesus do thong.”

Landoverbaptist is a well deserved parody of a fictitious church.

Ok, yes I know I’m totally evil for posting anything from this guy/site — but I can’t resist — it’s just too true for so many churches.

Think about it:

What would happen tomorrow morning at your church’s 11:00am service if your local wino/street person decided to attend? He walks in the door and manages to offend at least one little old lady by telling her that she, “Surrr is Purdy,” in his overly loud and slurred voice. He stumbles his way into the sanctuary and collapses in the tenth pew from the front where he begins to hum some old hymn in an out of tune manner. The service starts and he decides to move closer to the front. Half way there, he stumbles, falls face first in the aisle and passes out there for the remainder of the service — snoring loudly.

Ok, what’s the likelihood that the police would be called to remove him — thus adding another Drunk and Disorderly charge to his rap sheet?

Matt 25:40 “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.”

I think he summarizes it best himself on a banner ad on the bottom of one of his pages where he states:

“The real Jesus forgives your jesus for being a greedy Republican warmonger.”

“New American Standard Bible®, The Lockman Foundation Used by permission.”

Talk To Action (Updated)

Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission — to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is “to conduct physical and spiritual warfare”; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice. You have never felt so powerful, so driven by a purpose: you are 13 years old.

Isn’t it interesting how fundamentalist railing against the evils of your local video game retailer can so suddenly turn to embrace the same when it fits their self righteousness??? These same people would rise up en mass to decry the Palestinian’s video game which trains suicide bombers to kill the most — then Left Behind publishes this???

Let’s convert the world this weekend — by killing people who don’t agree with us.

U2 LYRICS

“Pride (In The Name Of Love)”

One man come in the name of love
One man come and go
One man come, he to justify
One man to overthrow

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love

One man caught on a barbed wire fence
One man he resist
One man washed on an empty beach.
One man betrayed with a kiss

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love

(nobody like you…)

Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love…

Bono had it so right…