Session Notes

Teaching Your Children to Read:

“With 3- and 4-year-olds, you can start them reading for themselves by teaching initial sounds of letters. Alphabet books, magnetic letters on the fridge and drawing letters on paper can be fun and instructional. %u201CThe trick in this is to never quiz your child. Teach letters casually,%u201D author Mary Leonhardt writes. Another idea is to write words on index cards and tape them to the things they name, such as a chair or piano.”

Benefits of Reading:

“Research shows that avid readers:Read better, write better and concentrate better.Are quicker to see subtleties.Have an easier time processing new information.Have a better chance for a successful, fulfilling adult life.Have many interests and do well in a wide variety of subjects.Develop an ability to understand how other people think and feel.Acquire the ability to sift information and to understand how unrelated facts can fit into a whole.Tend to be more flexible in their thinking and more open to new ideas.”

CTV.ca | Doctors say how we taste affects health:

“One in four people is what scientists call a supertaster, born with extra taste buds. ‘They live in a neon taste world,’ as Bartoshuk puts it. They find some vegetables horribly bitter, and hate the texture. They get more burn from chili peppers, and perceive more sweetness than other people. Nor do they care for fat. They tend to be skinny because they’re such picky eaters. Scientists came up with the name because these people give an extreme ‘Yuck!’ when given a certain bitter chemical widely used in taste research — a chemical that certain other people, dubbed nontasters, can’t even detect. Those nontasters make up another quarter of the population. They like veggies, but unfortunately prefer heart-clogging fat, too, along with sweets and alcohol.”

This is a fascinating article tasting. It is not just genetics. emotional connections play a role. Eating at the moment you sit done is the best time.

How to Draw Animals – eHow.com :

“Graduate to having a point of view of POV. This means choosing a %u201Cdisappearing point%u201D or horizon that can help you define the 3-D shape of your animal in space, even if it still leans toward cartoonish in appearance. STEP 4: Progressing into more detail and realism, a knowledge of basic anatomy becomes, at first, useful and soon requisite. Buy a drawing book rather than an anatomy book for an overview of what you need to know.”

A letter from a son who left
The Capital-Journal/May 19, 1993
By Mark W. Phelps

“Many people have been asking me, over the past several weeks, about my father. They want to know what I think about him and ‘What is he really like?’ People’s interest in what I think baffles me, but after careful consideration, I decided to respond.

What is he like? Well, it’s been 19 years since I left home, but his behavior still appears to be the same. He considers his environment to be against him without admitting, acknowledging or taking responsibility for how he contributes to that. He likes to show himself as being moral, pro-family, pro-Bible, but his actions just don’t add up to that. I believe in God and the Bible, and my father’s behavior doesn’t fit the description of behavior that would show in the life of one who loves God; behavior characteristics such as Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-control. Instead, my father’s behavior characterizes, I believe, Hate, Outbursts of Wrath, Contention, Jealousy, Vengefulness, Misery, Harshness, and Selfish ambition. He mis-states the truth about his own behavior, about others, about the Bible, with apparent ease and regularity. He behaves with a viciousness the likes of which I have never seen. He accepts no genuine accountability in his life and is subject to no one. His lifestyle betrays the sacred trust of what a pastor, husband, father and grandfather should be. I suppose if a comparison were made between the life of Jesus Christ and my father, there would not be much to compare.

I also realize that my father is a very unstable person who is determined to hurt people. And because he is so bound to be hateful and hurtful, and because he’s so untrustworthy, I believe it’s a good idea to respond to him with caution much like the caution used when dealing with a rattlesnake or a mad dog. You see, the causes that he crusades for, including the Bible, are not the issue here. He simply wants to hate and to have a forum for his hate. If the causes he focuses on were the issue, that is, if they really meant something to him in his heart and he meant for the things he does to be for the good, his behavior would not be what it is. He would not betray his message with his behavior. But, when he needs to, to vent his hate, he readily goes outside the bounds of any previously stated ‘value’ or ’cause’ he may have supported. He experiences no moral dilemma when it comes to doing what he wants to do. If it weren’t the homosexuals, it would be something else.

Yet checks and balances on his behavior are appropriate, on the part of the community, in order to at least confine his destructive behaviors and to limit his influence. I believe that Topekans are making a good effort to try and stop him and should continue to do so. He can seem very intimidating. He can use foul language and come across with a booming voice to the community, but the truth is, like the Wizard of Oz, when Toto pulls the curtain back, instead of this big powerful individual, it’s only a small, pathetic old man. I feel sorry for my father as I would for anyone who displays this kind of hate and evil viciousness. These can only be the manifestations of tortured, injured and agonizing souls.”

Westboro Baptist Church is a U.S. religious organization headed by Fred Phelps and based in Topeka, Kansas. It runs the website GodHatesFags.com, and GodHatesAmerica.com, and other websites expressing condemnation of homosexuals, Catholics, Muslims and other groups. The organization is monitored by the Anti-Defamation League, and as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

While its members identify themselves as Baptists, the church is an independent Baptist church not affiliated with any known Baptist conventions or associations. The church describes itself as following Primitive Baptist and Calvinist principles, though it has been accused by others of Hyper-Calvinism.

This is a letter Fred’s son Mark Phelps wrote to citizens of Topeka and northeast Kansas. As of July 7, 1994, Mark Phelps said the letter still represents his feelings. He also cautioned people against taking the letter out of context, saying there is “gentleness” in the context of the letter and a hope that the community can better understand Fred Phelps based on what the letter contains.

Note: I refuse to link to the waste of digital space web site I got this from.

The Four G’s - Peacemaker Ministries :

“Another key principle of peacemaking involves an effort to help others understand how they have contributed to a conflict. When Christians think about talking to someone else about a conflict, one of the first verses that comes to mind is Matthew 18:15: ‘If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.’ If this verse is read in isolation, it seems to teach that we must always use direct confrontation to force others to admit they have sinned. If the verse is read in context, however, we see that Jesus had something much more flexible and beneficial in mind than simply standing toe to toe with others and describing their sins. Just before this passage, we find Jesus’ wonderful metaphor of a loving shepherd who goes to look for a wandering sheep and then rejoices when it is found (Matt. 18:12%u201314). Thus, Matthew 18:15 is introduced with a theme of restoration, not condemnation. Jesus repeats this theme just after telling us to ‘go and show him his fault’ by adding, ‘If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.’ And then he hits the restoration theme a third time in verses 21%u201335, where he uses the parable of the unmerciful servant to remind us to be as merciful and forgiving to others as God is to us (Matt. 18:21%u201335). Jesus is clearly calling for something much more loving and redemptive than simply confronting others with a list of their wrongs. Similarly, Galatians 6:1 gives us solid counsel on our what our attitude and purpose ought to be when we go to our brother. ‘Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.’ Our attitude should be one of gentleness rather than anger, and our purpose should be to restore rather than condemn.”

I great article on the purpose of truth in love. However I think we need to affirm a believers heart is always good.

Mens Health

Can’t Tell the Players Without a Scorecard

“So much subliminal information is conveyed in those first seconds of contact,” says Carol Kauffman, Ph.D., a relationship therapist and psychology instructor at Harvard medical school. Okay, so you’re on the clock. Make every second count. Below are 10 ways – in rough chronological order – a woman judges your fitness to be her proverbial daddy.

OK, so, it’s crass, cynical and the entire site is largely focused on presenting a fraudulent image of yourself so you can get into a woman’s pants — but it’s also true. Men who desire marriage would do well to actually look at their hearts and lives and ask whether what is being faked here is actually true for them — and if not, why not?

Feelings of Doubt and Uncertainty:

“Losing something leaves us feeling sad. But as we grow in our relationship with the person we committed to, the grief can turn to joy and contentment. It’s common for young couples to experience various levels of ‘buyer’s remorse.’ That was the case with Nicole and Ted. Nicole had waited for many years to find the right man to spend the rest of her life with. At age 33, she met Ted. Within 13 months they were married in her hometown of Atlanta. Though she was certain Ted was the man God had chosen for her, Nicole missed her independence. Often she felt sad, conflicted, confused, wondering whether she’d made the wrong decision about marriage.”

It is thinking in terms of the family instead of one that closeness/oneness occurs. It is vital i marriage. When this happens you will say I could not have married a better man, as I believe I did. You will enjoy your spouse in the fullest sense, as I do.

Adjusting to Married Life: Becoming One:

“I miss being able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it.’ And here’s a favorite that marriage therapists hear often: ‘If two becoming one means that I disappear as a person, forget it!’ If you feel like this, don’t think you’re alone or that your situation is hopeless. The following quotations illustrate the fact that the adjustment period from aloneness to togetherness is often complex:”

This is a good brief article on some of the hopeless feelings of marriage that need to be grieved to God. It is challenging to blend personalities and desires together but it is rewarding.

How to Help Your Child Cope With the Death of a Pet – eHow.com :

“Memorialize your pet in a way that is unique to your family. Plant a tree in your pet’s favorite spot in the garden, write down thoughts about fun times spent with the pet, draw pictures, or hang a favorite photo of the pet in your home for all of the family to share. STEP 8: Show your own grief. Children will grow to understand their own feelings better if they see that their sadness is shared by other family members.”

These are good suggestions for art/journalling therapy.

BBC NEWS

Sir Elton John has said he would like to see all organised religion banned and accused it of trying to “turn hatred towards gay people”.

Ok, first of all, he’s talking about Christianity, Judaism and Islam. (The rest of the religions mostly don’t care…) As Judaism has a firm policy of not proselytizing and Islam has a much bigger spread of antagonisms then just homosexuality, he’s basically talking about Christianity.

It’s always fascinating to me how those who would ban Christianity for intolerance fail to notice that it is, in fact, from within Christianity that the idea of tolerance was itself conceived.

It’s even more entertaining how, in the absence of that foundation, that their version of tolerance is actually so intolerant it would attempt to ban the freedom of religious practice of the largest belief systems/world views in the world for the sake of the rights of one of the smallest minority groups in the world to perform a particular sexual behavior without someone disagreeing with it. (Note: not controlling or arresting it — just disagreeing…)

However, what is most stunning about their logic is that they would see the stripping of religious freedom from billions as at least a lesser evil if not a blessing to humanity. Here we reach the tyrannical summit of postmodern egocentricity: Because you disagree with what I am doing, I must crush you so the world can finally be free.

Viewing Your Spouse in a New Light:

“Desire. You viewed your husband during courtship as you wanted to see him. We tend to construct a person in our minds to match the excitement we want to feel. We mentally create that person in a way that will make us happiest.So the question becomes, ‘What do I do now that I’ve found out he’s different from the way I thought he was?’ Debating whether he misrepresented himself or you misread him won’t solve anything. Here are three actions you can take. Choose to love him. We’re told in Ephesians 5:32 that marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the church. There are inadequacies in the church, yet Christ still loves her.”

This is a good article in understanding the reasons romantic love matures after the honeymoon. I disagree with the judging part of it. Why would we need to judge if everything we have comes from god. It is His job to change/reveal more of our godly character not the counsellor or wife.

Why Isn’t My Husband the Person I Thought He Was?:

“It’s more like ’selective expression.’ He behaved in a way that he figured would increase your likelihood of saying, ‘I do.’ He put his best foot and shiniest shoe forward. Some of his behavior during those days probably wasn’t so deliberate. Thinking of you thrilled his heart during courtship. That type of romantic fire shapes one’s actions; loving deeds come easily to one so smitten by romance. You probably felt the same excitement, with your reactions being affected as well. In Luke 6:32, Jesus conveys this principle with the question, ‘If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?’ Reciprocating romantic love comes naturally to most people. Over time, it’s common for the romance, and therefore some of the motivation for ‘good behavior’ to fade somewhat.”

This article is encouraging to spouses who feel they don’t love their spouses anymore. I disagree with the word deception. However I prefer the grace term selective expression.

BULLIES BEWARE: TIPS FOR TAMING A TYRANT:

” If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. (Luke 6:29).”

This is a good basic article on living out gentleness in a conflict. Fighting is reserved for the gravest of times.

The Big Five Bullying Myths:

“remember is that God is on your side. When the apostle Paul was feeling puny, God told him, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). In other words, when things are totally out of our control, God’s awesome power completely takes over!”

This is an excellent article of encouragement and empathy. A Friend Loves At All Times, even if our friend isn’t making the most beneficial choices. Showing regret by saying I didn’t realize that I hurt you deeply. 1.) Although it is not easy, to say, Ignoring them first 2.) Praying for joy for the hurtful one. 3.) Reach out to others in empathy- encourage gifts, God gives the power to say stop and work it for good.

Stuff.co.nz

Hell Pizza has outraged family groups and morals campaigners by delivering innuendo-laden condom packets to letterboxes.

The controversial fast-food chain is promoting its meat-lovers’ pizza – named “Lust” – with a mail drop of 170,000 branded condoms.

But it has provoked criticism from groups who say it is indecent to link pizza with sex and inappropriate to distribute condoms where young children might find them.

The packet includes explicit instructions for condom usage.

I wonder when the fundamentalist Christian right is finally going to figure out marketing firms regard their pathetic moral outrage as the best source of free advertising to ever be invented?

I mean, [GASP] what if a child discovered a contraceptive and [SHUDDER] his or her parent had to actually sit down and talk with him or her about [SOB] sex???

Be Your Own Health Care Quarterback:

“Take five minutes every morning or evening to think about your personal inventory, any decisions you’re struggling with or any steps you intend to take to improve your (or your child’s) health. Write down all your thoughts in a brainstorming session. Don’t hold anything back. Just write for five minutes. Then, after two weeks of journaling, reread what you have written down for each day. See if there’s a pattern that may suggest a different approach or solution to something that’s been bothering you.”

This offers some good questions and direction to prayerfully choose treatments.

11Alive.com

“These groups offer promises they can’t deliver, and deliver disasters they didn’t promise,” said Wayne Besen of Truthwinsout.org. “The destroy families in the name of family values.”

Hattie Ellis’ 25-year-old son is gay. She has a message for the hundreds of parents who signed their children up for the church group’s conference.

“Don’t do it,” she said. “If you try to change your child, you will lose your child. You will break their spirit and you may never get them back.”

Well, Focus on the Family is barely out of the gate with their latest Love Won Out conference (a conference seeking to connect GBLT individuals who deeply long to change their sexual orientation with resources to do so) and, predictably enough, the fur is already flying.

Forget about the reality that one of the key individuals involved in getting Homosexuality removed from the DSM as a disorder (Dr. Spitzer) has published evidence that homosexual individuals can change their sexual orientation to heterosexual and are remarkably better off emotionally for having done such, the strident cries against this supposed bigotry, homophobia and, most importantly, the imposition of beliefs on innocent victims still ring out.

It’s all strangely myopic from where I sit: Christians trying to turn gay people straight is no worse than secular humanists trying to make male children act like female children (because, well, all boys are just nicer on Ritalin…) Everybody has an idea of how to, “Improve,” their fellow man. The difference here is that Christians have to get people to volunteer for the effort, while secular humanism generally uses the public school system to force their more politically correct viewpoint of acceptable behavior on their victims.

Apparently though, they still need to rally against those who would simply invite those volunteers? Seems like a little too much in the way of smoke and fury here for this to really be about freedom…

Rocky Mountain News

Embattled minister Ted Haggard this morning admitted receiving a massage from the Denver man who claims to have exchanged sex for money with the Colorado Springs church leader for three years.

After years of pushing the White House to crack down on gays and to fight gay marriage, Ted again proves the above title is still as true today as the day the great play-write penned it.

More and more, the most vocal and aggressive voices of condemnation for same sex brokenness are beginning to be discovered as actually being the broken ones. Men who wear the cover of judgment and condemnation as a cover for their broken hearts.

Why won’t the broken ones willingly pursue healing? After all, no one is buying their religious fervor anymore — it’s too obviously a cover. It’s only a matter of time before they are forced into healing anyway — maybe it’s time for the church to rise up en-mass and tell these people to:

(A). Shut-up.
(B). Take the log outa yer own eye.
(C). Get healing so you can actually be of some real use to the kingdom.
(D). At least stop smearing egg on your own face and the collective face of Christianity by trying to act like you are holy.

Some of us are just plain tired of people playing out this pathetic parody we call holiness theology. (At least those of us who’ve figured out that the only righteousness we’re ever gonna have has got to be a gift.) The rest are tired of trying to play it out and desperately could use a rest — whether or not they know it yet.

Either way, no one except the press is listening — and they are doubled over laughing.