Session Notes

Bulletproofing Our Schools … With Faith:

“”Any sane culture is going to say we must move heaven and earth to get to our children early in life, before they are permanently and irreparably damaged,“ Gulker says. ”By abandoning public schools, you create a culture, a society, where your children and grandchildren can be sure they will not be safe.“Gulker is founder and executive director of an unprecedented mentoring program, Kids Hope USA, that beguiles public educators and church leaders alike with its simplicity. Volunteers from neighborhood churches are paired with an at-risk student and spend an hour a week with him or her at school: reading, doodling, working math problems, shooting hoops or just listening. The aim is to become the child’s friend, a dependable source of encouragement and love.What has stunned not only teachers and administrators, but Gulker himself, is the payoff from such a meager investment. Teachers consistently report significant improvements in attendance, truancy and academic achievement.”

This is an encouraging article on preventing criminal activities through the unconditional grace of time, fun, presence, and education.

Denver Post

Mike Jones, who has a forthcoming book, told The Denver Post that several people shook his hand and told him, “God bless you.”

“I had read a lot about the church, but there’s nothing like seeing it for yourself,” Jones told the newspaper. “It wasn’t to rub anyone’s face in it by any means. I was wanting to get some perspective, to see where they are coming from, what the magnet is.”

Haggard resigned last year as president of the National Association of Evangelicals after Jones alleged Haggard paid him over a three-year period for sex and sometimes took methamphetamine during the encounters.

Interesting how we have a double standard for grace isn’t it. We talk about grace and even (Correctly) show such along with strikingly unconditional love to the non-Christian broken in a welcoming of Haggard’s accuser to his home church. (The same church that just fired Haggard because — like all of us — he couldn’t perform…)

On the one hand, the entire story has stunningly ironic elements of, “You made your [legalism and performance based] bed, now lay in it…” Not that two wrongs make a right or anything but, maybe the experience will finally break his heart of legalism and heal him. (In any case, we can always hope that the new pastor will actually get the Gospel and rescue the congregation.) That being said though, it is a useful case study of our true beliefs here in the church so we can proclaim them to the world:

So, after all these years of mistakenly listening to Paul, let’s get this message of the Gospel straight once and for all: Now that grace and freedom has touched your life and brought you to Christ, the Jesus who died to set you free from the law now (apparently) wants you to get off your butt and perform to measure up to it?

I think the technical term for that is, “Bait and switch.” Trouble is, it’s not even that simple:

On the other hand though, Haggard has obvious talents given to him by God to do what he was doing. I’d love to see Haggard finally get the Gospel and, with all of his broken heart, be restored to ministering to others — but that’s not gonna happen either. Here in the church, we shoot our wounded; then keep them on life support so we can demand they perform anyway.

He’s as good as dead: Dead as in an outcast forever and dead as in forever consigned to the ongoing legalism (as penance and proof of a heart change) that will keep him trapped in the brokenness which was wreaking his life in first place. (Kinda like a wounded soldier being required to shoot himself dead as proof he is still alive…)

Now, we’d like to welcome Haggard’s accuser to join the same system? Do we really think Jones is that crazy? Are we???

Jason Upton Lyrics
Freedom Lyrics


Freedom!!

Back in the bible there was that old Pharaoh
Who ruled over Egypt and Israel
God spoke to Moses through fired up bushes
Said kick off your shoes and stay awhile

All of humanity was made to worship me
Pharaoh get outta my way
(God is sayin’)

Chorus

Freedom to dance
Freedom to sing
Freedom to grow
I’m telling you Pharaoh let Gods people go!

Worship now
Worship now
Worship your God (x4)
(let ‘em go)

Well, we live in a country supposedly Pharaohless
But all over town and in churches abide
Powerful weeklings who practice they’re politics
Stealing from Jesus his beutiful bride
Whether you’re Pharisees, Sadducees, heresies
You best get outta God’s way!
(God is sayin’)

Chorus

Worship now
Worship now
Worship your God (x4)
(let ‘em go)

Well, we live in a country supposedly Pharaohless
But all over town and in churches abide
Powerful weeklings who practice they’re politics
Stealing from Jesus his beutiful bride
Whether you’re Pharisees, Sadducees, heresies
You best get outta God’s way!
(God is sayin’)

Chorus

Worship now
Worship now
Worship your God (x4)
(let ‘em go)

I just ran into these lyrics this weekend and I’ve played it over a number of times. All I can add is that we need a lot more artists calling our church leadership just as clearly.

It’s time we faced the reality that the Gospel really is Jesus plus nothing. Worship is not praise — it is coming with open hands longing to be filled just as the people of old came to idols to try and get their longing for fertility etc. filled.

We worship when we come with nothing (No performance, no goods deeds, no wild eyed strategies to be good in the future, no plans to impress God and none of our irrational beliefs in our own ethical progress) and ask for everything (Someone to love us, transform us, heal us, to free us from even the demand to be good and the cognitive dissonance all of us experience when confronted with our obvious inability to measure up.)

Any one that preaches anything other then this is a human reflection of all three: Pharisee, Sadducee, Heresy. Personally, I can’t wait for the day when the growing wave of believers (who have finally had enough of all of the above) reaches critical mass and most of our pulpits stand almost empty — because the congregation has emptied them.

“Almost,” because there will still be people in those churches capable of filling those pulpits — I think a little girl out of the sunday school class singing, “Jesus loves me, this I know,” will fill it nicely.

Mainichi Daily News

If theta waves are taken as a criterion, the entire brain emits theta waves when women reach an orgasm that are close on 10 times stronger than when men climax. So, if theta waves are an indication of an orgasm’s strength, then women experience an orgasm that is physically impossible for men to go through. Putting it a little crudely, if the intensity of a woman’s orgasm was played through a man’s brain, there’s a danger that the shock to his system would kill him. That risk makes it impossible to experiment on a man at the moment. And men can never become women. But my co-author, Kaneko, used the experience of people who have undergone a sex change (either a woman born with a man’s brain or vice versa) to explain the pleasure women feel.

Just in case you ever bought into the myth that women hate sex because they get little out of it and thus avoid it, step back from your preconceptions and observe what nothing more then our shame based (and highly sex negative) socialization can do to those who biologically are clearly the beneficiaries of God’s greatest gift in terms of desire for and capacity to experience sexual pleasure.

VirtueOnline

“The thing that has sustained me through all this is God has seemed so very close that prayer has seemed almost redundant. … Sometimes God calms the storm and sometimes God lets the storm rage, and calms the child.”

Personally, “I couldn’t be happier. I think that’s the best revenge,” he said.

He said his 15,000-member diocese was healthy, but the news he seemed most eager to relay was that immediately after the luncheon he was leaving for the Sundance Film Festival, where a documentary film, featuring his story and those of four other gay families, has been nominated for a grand jury prize.

Titled “For the Bible Tells Me So,” it is about families split by their beliefs about homosexuality and Scripture. He said his own parents talked more openly to the filmmaker than they had to him after his own announcement at age 39 that he was gay and getting divorced.

Well, it’s happened again. This time it comes via the Sundance Film Festival. A new movie is released about the lives of a number of families who have had their children come out of the closet. The same tired, thirty-four year old arguments have yet again been trotted out by the left (E.g., Paul was only talking about homosexual prostitution) to try and make the Bible say God thinks homosexual sex is a wonderful idea and the same well worn rebuttal (Original design) issued by the right. The media is all over it with CNN devoting almost 20min to it.

Honestly, I wonder what’s next? “Gays can sneeze; details on channel four news at 11:00pm,” perhaps?

Frankly, it isn’t news and it hasn’t shifted anyone’s mind. It’s more of a tactic — a tactic to, yet again, pit two sides of evangelicals against each other. On the one side is the fundamentalist right ranting about how Gays are breaking the law of God. On the other is the liberal left trying to show how the law of God is actually not being broken. Strangely, neither side seems to see that they are both on the same side — and it’s the wrong one — and it’s making them both look like idiots.

Even more strangely, neither side has figured out that making them look like idiots was the whole point. As long as they are debating their respective standing as to the rules, they are essentially neutralized and the message of the Gospel is going nowhere.

A message that would clearly say:

God loves you regardless of what you have ever done or failed to do, He just loves you for no good reason and so do we.

He has set you free from the law — and that freedom is total — so that you would no longer have to run from relationship with Him based on your obvious inability to be good as measured by such.

He knows what it means to be fully human and fully alive and longs for you to move closer to such and thus closer to the fulfillment you were created for.

The gay life is so much less then what you can have — can we walk with you and love you towards all that God has for you?

But, of course, it’s just so much more fun to measure ourselves with the wrong measuring stick that the, “Healing of the nations,” can wait…

God’s Will for My Life Part 2 of 3:

“Excuse the cliché of a sports analogy, but I really think this’ll be helpful. Think of your life as a football game. The first 20 years could be thought of as your warm-ups — you’re getting ready for the game. The second 20 years is the first half of play. During your 40’s you make a few halftime adjustments, so that your second half — 50 and beyond — is strong and powerful. As a male (as is the case with females too), in each stage of”

This is a good guideline. we need to be open to redirection at any time in life I find.

God’s Will for My Life Part 3 of 3:

“The key to each fulfillment of calling was a willingness to say ”yes,“ and a trust in Him who calls. Maybe people recognize your skills, and maybe they don’t. The most important thing is that God knows what you are capable of, and will equip you for the task. All you have to do is take that first step of faith. Stay open to His direction and re-direction, and He will take you on an adventure that satisfies your unique design and surpasses your wildest dreams.Blessings,JOHN THOMAS

This is a good article which encourages one to seek their own answers with confirmation from others. Rather than getting discouraged and immobilized by confusion/unhelpful advise one needs to be open to being redirected.

Who’s Calling?:

“Discernment has its own spiritual laws, and of course they have to be followed. If you want to call that a method, you can, but it’s not like what you’ve been calling methods. Those so-called methods are just gimmicks — not ways of discerning God’s will, but ways of avoiding discernment.”“

This is a good article with the exception of the deceitful heart/ sin for believers aspects. It discusses various ways to discernment.

Telling Young Children About Miscarriage:

“If you do suffer a miscarriage, I’d encourage you to be honest with the girls. Tell them that God knew this baby was very sick, and so He decided to take him to be with Him in heaven. Grieve the loss together, but if you find yourself overwhelmed by intense feelings of sadness, share those feelings with your husband and your pastor, not with your girls. A two- and four-year-old aren’t mature enough to understand or process a parent’s intense grief.

I Never Knew You, Still I Love You:

“there were others who provided deep comfort. As hard as it was to repeat the story of our loss, our friends’ responses — prayer and practical help — lightened our burden. ”We understand that this is a real loss of a real child,“ wrote one, ”and that you are grieving. It is amazing how much sadness the heart can hold for someone whom one never got to know.“ These words, written by someone who lost a child to miscarriage years earlier, were further permission to grieve … and grieve deeply.”

This is a good article on giving others permission to grieve. It is unbelievable that one can feel grief/love more for one, who is not even known, compared to knowing a grandmother, in my case, all your life.

Miscarriage:

“Emotional effects of miscarriage vary among women and often take longer to heal than their physical counterparts. It’s common to experience extreme sadness, anger, guilt and anxiety about future pregnancies. There is no ”typical“ timeframe for emotional recovery; every woman experiences the grieving process in her own way and travels the road to healing at her own pace. While it’s important to allow time and personal ”space“ for grieving, if the grief becomes too overwhelming — leading to a more serious episode of depression and despondency —”

This is a good article outlining the feelings of miscarriage. The guilt must be vented/given to God in order to receive His perspective that will fully reveal healing.

Sexual addiction - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

“According Patrick Carnes (Out of the Shadows) - the cycle begins with the ”Core Beliefs“ that sex addicts hold:

”I am basically a bad, unworthy person.“
”No one would love me as I am.“
”My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend on others.“
”Sex is my most important need.“

These beliefs drive the addiction on its progressive and destructive course:

Pain agent

First a pain agent is triggered / emotional discomfort (e.g. shame, anger, unresolved conflict) Sex addict is not able to take care of the pain agent in a healthy way.

Disassociation.

Prior to acting out sexually, the sex addict goes through a period of mental preoccupation or obsession. Sex addict begins to disassociate (moves away from his feelings). A separation begins to take place between his mind and his emotional self.

Altered state of consciousness / a trance state / bubble of euphoric fantasized experience”

barna.org

The research found that there are two types of people being attracted to house churches. The older participants, largely drawn from the Boomer population, are devout Christians who are seeking a deeper and more intense experience with God and other believers. The other substantial segment is young adults who are interested in faith and spirituality but have little interest in the traditional forms of church. Their quest is largely one of escaping outdated structures and institutions.

The survey also indicated that there is likely to be more change in the house church environment in the years to come. The ideas of worshiping in homes rather than church buildings, and being led by group members rather than religious professionals, are new to most Americans. The survey suggested that many people are just beginning to think about, and get comfortable with, the idea of homes being the dominant place for shared faith experiences.

Interestingly enough, Rick Warren (Pretty much the epicenter of the problem) has even noticed — though his solutions are, as yet, pretty much the same drivel:

The truth is many people are very open to learning about God and spiritual issues, they just don’t feel welcome at church or feel that it has anything to offer them. That is our problem.

Barna isn’t telling most of us anything new really — he’s just got numbers to back him. Anyone who hasn’t figured out that the members of the evangelical church are rather rapidly draining out the door has been living under a rock.

There’s both an ironic difference and similarity between the two of them though: Barna has figured out that the traditional bricks and mortar church is already facing a tidal wave and it isn’t going to end. Warren still thinks that if he just hypes up the same-old-same-old a little, people will be back. Neither of them, however, has seemed to figure out what is causing it.

Truth is, it isn’t that the young people are really trying to escape institutions — they are basically agnostic towards the existence and validity of those structures. It isn’t that the adults are seeking something deeper — they are fleeing a place where depth is impossible because it is fundamentally opposed to the core message of the Gospel. Somewhere along the line, the unthinkable happened. These people sat down and reread for the very first time those little known books called Romans, Galatians and some other weird names — much, I suspect, to the horror of their church leaders.

They discovered the unmentionable: That the ethical rantings of the evangelical church have been delivered by pastors who had actually been taught the Gospel — but preferred to use legalism to control their flock. They discovered that those people Paul calls, “The Judizers,” or “Those who are of the circumcision,” were at the helm. They discovered that a Church that should have been leading people to maturity preferred to keep them in infancy — because it made a lot of money to build big buildings. They discovered it — and they wanted more. The sad part of this is that all of those churches could keep their members and gain thousands more — if they would just put aside their power, fear and control issues and listen (for a change) to what we have known for hundreds of years.

Father Hughes, in his work God of Surprises, comments on von Hugel’s critical analysis in his two volume work called The Mystical Element in Religion, saying:

Von Hugel takes the three main stages in human development - infancy, adolescence and adulthood - describing the predominant needs and activities which characterize each stage. He shows that religion must take account of and nurture the predominant needs and activities of each stage, and so concludes that religion must include three essential elements, an institutional element corresponding to the needs and activities of infancy, a critical element corresponding to adolescence, and a mystical element corresponding to adulthood. As he analyzes each stage of growth, he is careful to show that the needs and activities of infancy do not disappear in adolescence, nor do the needs and activities of adolescence disappear in adulthood, but they should cease to be predominant if we are to grow into the following stage.

The Institutional: People need structure to get a life of broken chaos under control.

The Critical: People need to be allowed to think for themselves and to do the necessary questioning of the idea that the rules are even relevant in a Gospel of Grace and Freedom.

The Mystical: People are walked into a deep and intimate relationship with Jesus and the entirety of their faith comes down to listening to the voice of God and following.

The key reality that none of these people get is that ethics based religion barely is even useful for those in the Institutional stage of their faith. It is clearly an insult to God Himself at any other stage and considerably offensive to a person in such. People are finally tired of being spoon fed the past Words of God — and a very edited set at that — and are longing to hear the current Word of God deep in their own hearts.

What’s happening? The church is finally waking up and seeking the face of God instead of religion — which, rather ironically, is what Jesus came to suggest in the first place. The operators of those multi-million dollar religious structures are going to have to do with Jesus what the Jews also had to do with Him 2000yrs ago if they want to keep the same control focused, ethics driven and Institutional religion based structures going.

But hey, probably no one will even notice — it’s not like that’s a change or anything… Galatians 3:1-9 (Well, except for the nearly 50% of Evangelical believers whom researchers suggest are already out the door…)

blessitt.com

To open today’s round up of Titans of the Faith, we have a genius who thinks that enough money to feed who knows how many hungry people would better serve the cause of Christ if it were spent launching space junk. (It’s getting way too easy to find this nonsense…)

News Flash, launch date set for Spring 2007! Glory

The cross will be over You personally! The Cross will be over every Nation on earth! Over Afghanistan! Saudi Arabia! Jerusalem! America! The cross in Space Satellite will be in a Polar orbit from pole to pole. As the earth turns it will pass over every inch of the earth like peeling an apple. The cross will circle the earth every one and a half hours. After launch we can tell you on our site when it will be over you and your nation. We have carried the cross in Every nation. Now we will, God willing have it flying above Every nation! We wave the cross in the face of Satan and proclaim that Jesus is Lord over All the Earth. All glory to God.

As if this psychotic attempt at space graffiti isn’t enough, we move onto another fellow brother in Christ who believes God has called the church to a new ministry of eating her own young — I mean sending government agencies to harass fellow churches:

ratoutachurch.org

Our immediate purpose is to fight back against vicious left-wing attempts to silence conservative, Bible believing pastors. Every election year, liberal groups have a field day intimidating and harassing conservative pastors into silence.

Er, could this be the Republican National Convention pot calling the Democratic National Convention kettle black??? Um, never mind… Of course, if you have a problem with this, they have, in the spirit of Matt 18, offered a convenient means to discuss it with them:

DON’T AGREE WITH US?

If you don’t like who we are or what we do please place a note in a sealed container and toss it into the Boston Harbor the next time you are there. At some time in the future we are sure it will drift up the Potomac River toward our office.

All things considered though, who really would want to hang around for this anyway…

ChristianExodus.org

Finally, we have the rats-leaving-a-sinking-ship genius of ChristianExodus.org who have decided that the best way they can be salt and light in a broken world is to simply run away.

ChristianExodus.org is moving thousands of Christians to South Carolina to reestablish constitutionally limited government founded upon Christian principles. It is evident that the U.S. Constitution has been abandoned under our current federal system, and the efforts of Christian activism to restore our Godly republic have proven futile over the past three decades. The time has come for Christian Constitutionalists to protect our liberties in a State like South Carolina by interposing the State’s sovereign authority retained under the 10th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

Something tells me that the world they are fleeing is going to follow them there — because it is them…

After careful consideration, I’ve decided that it’s time to get ordained and start my own church: (From here on, refer to me as Reverend…) ;-}

themonastery.org

You are about to become an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church. For information regarding the legal aspects of this in your state or province, view the FAQ page on the site.

Before proceeding with your information, please make sure you have complied with the following instructions:

* Please only ordain others with their permission. (This includes public figures as well as cartoon and other fictional characters.”)
* Please only put your true and legal name. Nicknames will invalidate your ordination.
* Please use only factual information in this serious religious rite.
* Please double check your name and email address.
* Please capitalize where appropriate, as this is how our records will show from here on out.

Your privacy is carefully guarded. We maintain this information only for our own uses and for legal reasons.

Finally, the peace and tranquility of having a place to worship the God who actually is there instead of the one we’ve made up — supported by a denomination who’s statement of faith is at least both internally consistent and reasonably palatable.

The Universal Life Church has only two tenets (beliefs/doctrine):

To promote freedom of religion and
To do that which is right.

Sadly, I really wish I were totally kidding…

Friedrich Nietzsche commented that:

God made man in His own image, and man returned the favor.

In case you had any doubt, it wasn’t exactly a compliment to God…

Rick Warren’s latest thoughts/musings/curiosities seem to finally be focusing on why half of evangelical Christians won’t darken the door of a church any more — while still retaining their faith. Considering his own thinly veiled attempt at the insertion of ethics based legalism into the church and the total insanity that seems to define the church in general, it’s highly curious to me that he still seems legitimately puzzled by the phenomenon…

I just have one simple question though: Exactly what are these charlatans going to have to do? How low will they have to sink before millions of real Christians world wide rise up in rage and drown them in hundreds of thousands of emails, phone calls, faxes, blog postings and personal appearances — all demanding that they shut down and do it now?

As long as we stand by silently, we condone them — and are painted with the same brush.

Creating Intimacy and Friendship in Marriage:

“Keeping this idea in mind reinforces the essential role we play within our sacred partnership. The blessing of friendship and tenderness in marriage honors this unchanging truth: A wife’s loving companionship was designed by God to meet her husband’s number one relationship need.Evaluate your level of intimacy with your husband, then consider whether you might have been neglecting your husband’s needs for affection, comfort, and camaraderie. Ask your husband what he would like to experience with you in this area.”

This is a good article the stresses the need for undivided attention spouses need in marriage.

JunkScience.com

The guesses of significantly larger warming are dependent on “feedback” (supplementary) mechanisms programmed into climate models. The existence of these “feedback” mechanisms is uncertain and the cumulative sign of which is unknown (they may add to warming from increased atmospheric carbon dioxide or, equally likely, might suppress it).

The total warming since measurements have been attempted is thought to be about 0.6 degrees Centigrade. At least half of the estimated temperature increment occurred before 1950, prior to significant change in atmospheric carbon dioxide levels. Assuming the unlikely case that all the natural drivers of planetary temperature change ceased to operate at the time of measured atmospheric change then a 30% increment in atmospheric carbon dioxide caused about one-third of one degree temperature increment since and thus provides empirical support for less than one degree increment due to a doubling of atmospheric carbon dioxide.

There is no linear relationship between atmospheric carbon dioxide change and global mean temperature or global mean temperature trend — global mean temperature has both risen and fallen during the period atmospheric carbon dioxide has been rising.

Ok, I just finally sat down and watched it. Strangely, I also feel sick — though not for the standard reasons. It’s a sick feeling that comes from realizing we are dealing with the death of rational thought and the ability to understand information by the scientists of North America (in favor of pure hype and federal science grant chasing.) Al Gore can divorce his own voice and receive it back as thunder a thousand times by referring to, “Scientists,” but the facts simply do not always march in unison with his shrill rhetoric.

I wish I could have just ignored it (like I also do with everything Michael Moore presents…) However, after dealing with a number of clients (And their raw anxiety) who have watched Al Gore’s pathetic little piece of propaganda, I figured it was time to watch it. It’s now clear it’s also time to post some real science from real scientists who can actually do math and who manage to comprehend some basic concepts of statistical analysis (Like: correlation does not prove causation for example…).

BTW: No one is questioning that global warming is happening. What is in question is the degree of such (Remember, most readings from any more then 45yrs ago came from fishermen with buckets/thermometers), whether we have much of anything to do with it and whether it’s effects will actually be any sort of disaster. Geological reality states that for Greenland to do what Gore is predicting we would have to experience a seismic event capable of destroying at least one entire mountain range — so disastrous we’d mostly be dead anyway. (Also, remember, Greenland used to host vineyards in the time of the Vikings and the rest of the world somehow managed to keep on functioning.) Somehow global cooling managed to happen without our help — perhaps we have had as much of an impact on the opposite effect…

The Acton Institute also has a brilliant philosophical commentary on the subject.

Update: Someone also sent me thisand this. They are a much more comprehensive (And less mathematical) debunking of Gore’s static.

The Health Benefits of Prayer:

“”People who are anxious, worried and depressed do poorly when they’re sick,“ Stevens said. ”Those with hope and peace in the midst of a [health] struggle seem to do much better. People with religious commitments have that hope and peace.“ Prayer brings a definite physiological benefit, noted Dr. Bob Orr, director of clinical ethics at Fletcher Allen Health Care, the teaching hospital for the University of Vermont. ”I certainly encourage people who are believers to pray,“ Orr said. ”My observation is the person who prays is less stressed. He becomes less anxious, and his blood pressure and pulse improve.“ Stevens pointed to one study which showed the risk of diastolic hypertension was 40 percent lower”

Our cares should be cast on the Lord not left in our bodies.

American Lung Association

41. Be flexible. Some things are not worth perfection.


43. Change pace on weekends. If your week was slow, be active. If you felt nothing was accomplished during the week, do a weekend project.

Worth the read.

Semi-Intelligent or Semi-Stupid Debt:

“A home equity loan, curiously known in the industry as HEL, is typically a second mortgage that positions itself in such a way to allow the homeowner access to the equity (that margin between what is owed and what the property is worth). Equity is the borrower’s asset—and a precious asset at that. A HEL opens a large line of credit for you, pledging your equity as the collateral. You can borrow against it whenever you want. Technically it is a secured debt because of the collateral feature. And the borrower’s safety valve remains because the home can be sold to satisfy both of the debts. But it can be very risky—and that is when it can cross over into stupid territory. There are five ways the stupid factor can sneak into an otherwise intelligent mortgage situation: 1. If you borrow against your equity to clean up your credit card debt and then run up your credit cards all over again, that leaves you with twice the debt—the equity line and the credit cards. Not smart.”

This article makes good suggestions about eliminating and preventing debt. However the judgement should have been given to the Lord. The bottom line is a second job is needed to eliminate dr.

Effective Co-Parenting, Part Two:

“Schedule a monthly (perhaps more often) ”business“ meeting to discuss co-parenting matters. You can address schedules, academic reports, behavioral training and spiritual development. Do not discuss your personal life (or your ex’s); that part of your relationship is no longer appropriate. If the conversation turns away from the children, simply redirect the topic or politely end the meeting. If you cannot talk with your ex face to face due to conflict, use e-mail or speak to the answering machine. Do what you can to make your meetings productive for the children.”

This article offers good suggestions on not capitalizing on the hurt of others/your children to berate the other parent. It is important not to disappoint by being unreliable.

Effective Co-Parenting, Part Two:

“Schedule a monthly (perhaps more often) ”business“ meeting to discuss co-parenting matters. You can address schedules, academic reports, behavioral training and spiritual development. Do not discuss your personal life (or your ex’s); that part of your relationship is no longer appropriate. If the conversation turns away from the children, simply redirect the topic or politely end the meeting. If you cannot talk with your ex face to face due to conflict, use e-mail or speak to the answering machine. Do what you can to make your meetings productive for the children.”

This article offers good suggestion on effective co-parenting.

Effective Co-Parenting, Part One:

“Unfortunately, this put her in constant turmoil, as she was forced to choose which parent she would invite to certain events. If the other wanted to come but couldn’t, Julie heard that parent’s disappointment and felt guilty. ”Why can’t they just put aside their differences and tolerate a couple of hours in the same room?“ Good question.Because Terrance’s parents always ended up fighting on the phone, he became the middleman to their visitation arrangements. His mother stopped speaking to his father and asked Terrance, at age 9, to communicate her preferences for drop-off and pickup. Terrance had no choice but to oblige, since he enjoyed spending time with his father on weekends.In both these examples, children carried undue emotional anxiety and burden because their parents could not set aside their differences and act like adults.An effective co-parent arrangement for Julie’s parents would mean she could invite both parents to her recitals and not worry whether they were fighting or anxious. An effective arrangement for Terrance’s parents would include their finding a way to talk rationally about their schedules instead of triangulating Terrance.The bottom line is a system that allows children to be children and adults to be their parents.”

This is a good article regarding the confusing feelings of children from separation/divorce. It is best to only do email contact with a difficult ex in regards to children.

Sexual Abuse:

“Hypervigilance Anxiety and fearDysfunctional relationshipsSpiritual void or disillusionmentDifficulty concentrating Performance-based self-valueIntimacy problemsTrust issues”

This is a good list where one needs to come to the end of the way they are coping to deal with it, surrender to the Lord so His loving responses/hope emerges.

Shovel Writings: Too Much Jesus?:

“So … how much Jesus is too much? What do you think? Now, it’s often said that too much grace will lead to sin, but what in the heck does that mean? Oh, we have adopted this cute little word called, licentiousness, which reminds us that too much of a good thing is bad for you … but do we really know what we’re talking about? Don’t we know that we have demanded that too much Jesus is bad? I don’t know about you, but that don’t sound right!! Yeah, yeah, we can play the word games, but the too much grace we refer to is the same that comes through Jesus.”

This is a good point. We need to understand that even though some have a fear that too much grace will lead to sin. Fear is not of God.

Shovel Writings: A Bogus Deception?:

“ sure don’t remember thinking it was ”OKAY“ to sin … how about you?  Well, if it’s not what you or I believe, then why are we wasting so much time and energy trying to convince each other that we don’t believe it?
Could this be yet another in the continuing series of deceptions we feel obligated to defend?  And if it is … what are we being side-tracked from?”

This is a good point. Do we feel we have to defend God? didn’t He already do that on His resurrection?

Shovel Writings: Counting the cost:

“His message to man was simple: you don’t have what it takes to follow Me.  This only highlights the amazing reality of God’s grace toward us in making us the righteousness of God and giving us His Spirit. It is no surprise that you now want to follow Jesus!!  :)”

It is easy to die to self when you want to do it. Jesus will give the sufficiency, not ourselves.

Shovel Writings: Faith:

“Adding a phrase like ”in Christ“ cannot salvage this flawed concept; for it turns the focus on the ”dependence“ and NOT on Christ.  This is why we ask: how much?  how long?  how sincere?  how dedicated? how accurate? etc.  But faith is understood by what it is dependent UPON.
Consider a tree by a river (a very scriptural picture, by the way).  Its roots have grown deep into the fertile ground — it is dependent upon the soil.  It is the difference between a choice and a factual relationship.  The tree lives in this dependence.  We, too, have been brought into a dependent relationship, for we have been put into Christ.  The mistake is TRYING to live, instead of just LIVING; TRYING to depend, instead of being aware that we’ve been made dependent.  In doing so, we reinforce the false concept that WE created the dependence.  Believing this makes us trip all over ourselves in an attempt to be ”humble“.  Talk about diffusing the sense of the miraculous!!
BOTTOM LINE: If you are one who believes in Christ, then you have been made alive in Him — AND YOU ARE DEPENDENT UPON HIM FOR YOUR VERY LIFE.  It makes no difference if you feel it or even understand it.  The good news of Jesus Christ declares this reality to you for the purpose of bringing confidence to you so that you can live in the awareness of what is already true about you.  Trying to be what you already are will only bring confusion.”

This passage has powerful implications. We do not have to measure our holiness or try to attain it. We just recognize our identity. HUMBLENESS MEANS BEING AWARE WE ARE SIN FREE AND REMINDING OTHERS OF THIS FACT. IT IS NOT REMINDING OTHERS THEY ARE NOT BEING GODLY.

Shovel Writings: Freedom:

“this is GOOD news!  But it wouldn’t be ”good“ if Jesus hadn’t really freed us from our sins.  Or don’t you know that what He did removes you from the indictment of ”whoever sins“?  Do you believe in the One that God sent?  Well, then — don’t you know who He has made you to be?”

This is what we really need to be focusing on in sharing the Good News!

Shovel Writings: Forgiven:

“ He forgives because He DID SOMETHING about it!  He took sin out of the way by killing His Son for the offenses.  No, He wasn’t mad and, therefore, needed to have His anger appeased — that’s the closest men can figure it — He could not reconcile ANYTHING without doing away with the source of the problem, which is everything that is not consistent with Himself.
BOTTOM LINE:  A person is forgiven because there is NOTHING held against them because the offending stuff has been REMOVED!  God’s ”forgetfulness“ of our sins is not from senility, but from the fact that there is NOTHING to remember!  There is nothing to remember because of what Jesus did!  God doesn’t remember your sins against you and, therefore, does not HOLD them against you!  Are you afraid He might discover something that Jesus didn’t take care of?”

This statement makes me wonder if we are defending this Good News or offenses which He already took away. It is key to the gospel.

Shovel Writings: The New Covenant:

“What’s the first covenant?  It was a contract based upon the performance of those who were part of it.  Guess what?  It didn’t work!  It never worked.  That was the point.  And guess what else?  We are very familiar with the nature of the FIRST covenant and didn’t even know it!  It was based upon the same principles we learned as children:  do good and be rewarded, do bad and get punished!  It convinced us that the only way around our hopeless situation is to LOOK like you were doing good and not doing bad.  It works because everybody else needs the same excuse!
BOTTOM LINE:  So, here’s how the new covenant replaced the first.  After the people failed miserably in their attempts to be good, God brought about His promised miracle:  people who would from the heart operate from love.  He did this by putting an end to the lifeless, dead heart (life-source) and created a new one. ”

These are the central points that are often missed. In parenting making kids obey doesn’t work. It is important to discipline based on the law of love so kids do not just try to look good.