Session Notes

Frequent (Daily) ejaculations counter prostate cancer.

The study suggested that frequent ejaculations may decrease the concentration of “chemical carcinogens which readily accumulate in prostatic fluid” and may reduce the development of crystalloids “which have been associated with prostate cancer in some.”

This is a strong counterpoint to the, “Hair growing on knuckles,” and, “Retention of life force,” theories/arguments against ejaculation.

Obviously, this does not address the addictive component many find in sexuality (Including masturbation) but it fits well with other medical findings/disastrous fundamentalist experiments in zero ejaculation that have been seen.

Apparently, the male body was designed to have sex — and lots of it.

It is also worth noting that other studies suggest that ‘having a variety of partners or frequent sexual activity’ could increase the risk of prostate cancer by 40 per cent through the risk of STD.

Los Angeles Times

The below image says it all…

(With thanks to George Orwell — 1984.)

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both. -Benjamin Franklin

Male multiple orgasm

Ok, somewhat against my better judgment and only as per multiple requests:

This is a simple article focused towards understanding the development of the male ability to experience multiple orgasm — and thus provide much higher levels of sexual satisfaction for their wives then is normally provided by men simply focused upon/uncontrollably driven towards ejaculation.

Normally it takes intensive coaching and a number of months of careful effort to develop this skill. Usually, we undertake it in connection with extensive whole couple training in sexual technique — subsequent to a clear movement towards Biblical surrender being walked out by the couple as per I Corinthians 6:19 and onwards.

Please do not send me nasty emails on this one. I am fully aware that this skill was first recorded by practitioners of Eastern Mystical arts. It, however, requires only physical musculature training and an understanding of the ejaculatory sequence to master — not disassociative meditative technique. IT IS NOT AT ALL RELATED TO THE NEW AGE MOVEMENT!!! Titus 1:15 states very clearly that:

To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled. (KJV)

It should be noted that this article sacrifices a great deal of detail for the sake of brevity and should not be considered as anything close to a definitive work on the subject. Most couples attempting such without intensive coaching experience a high level of frustration and little success…

Henze and Associates: Contact us

We are looking for bloggers or site operators (or those affiliated with such) who wish to set up a formal linking arrangement with our site. Prospective linking site must relate somehow to the healing of broken hearts and lives and be grace based in nature. If you believe that a cross linking arrangement would benefit your site, please use the above mail form link to contact us. We would love to hear from you!

Blunt Note: If your site focuses on burdening people down with rules (that no one ever managed to keep) and judgments (that just force them further into the brokenness that has ruled their lives) in the name of Christ, then don’t even bother.

Sincerely, Cal

Welcome to MY world:

Some things just have to be reposted… No other commentary is necessary.

By popular request:

I Want To Be A Clone

I’ve gone through so much other stuff
That walking down the aisle was tough
But now I know it’s not enough -
I Want To Be A Clone.
I asked the Lord into my heart.
They said that that’s the way to start,
But now you’ve got to play the part.
I Want To Be A Clone.

Be a clone and kiss conviction goodnight.
Cloneliness is next to godliness – RIGHT!
I’m grateful that they showed the way
‘Cause I could never know the way
To serve him on my own -
I Want To Be A Clone.

They told me that I’d fall away
Unless I followed what they say;
Who needs the Bible anyway?
I Want To Be A Clone.
Their language, it was new to me,
But “Christianese” got through to me;
Now I can speak it fluently.
I Want To Be A Clone.

Be a clone . . .

“Send in the clones……”
(Uh, I kinda wanted to tell some of my friends and people about it, you know?)
WHAT????
You’re still a babe, you have to grow,
Give it twenty years or so.
‘Cause if you want to be one of his,
Gotta act like one of US!

Be a clone . . .

So now I see the whole design:
My church is an assembly line.
The parts are there, I’m feeling fine.
I Want To Be A Clone.
I’ve learned enough to stay afloat,
But not so much I rock the boat.
I’m glad they shoved it down my throat -
I Want To Be A Clone!

(Everybody must get cloned)

Adult ADD Strengths

A counter cultural assessment of ADD/ADHD from a perspective of benefit rather then deficit.

Pew Research Center: Are We Happy Yet?

One way to find out is by way of a statistical technique known as multiple regression analysis, which gauges the relationship between each factor and happiness while controlling for all the other factors. That analysis shows that the most robust correlations of all those described in this report are health, income, church attendance, being married and, yes, being a Republican. Indeed, being a Republican is associated not only with happiness, it is also associated with every other trait in this cluster. Even so, the factor that makes the most difference in predicting happiness is neither being a Republican nor being wealthy – it’s being in good health.

Fact or Republican party propaganda? You decide…

Yahoo! News

CHICAGO – Some members of a Lutheran parish on Chicago’s far South Side said they are outraged police arrested the Rev. Jimmy McCants in the middle of his sermon.

Every time, in those dark moments when you think the Body of Christ just can’t sink any lower and you can finally relax, someone pulls out all the stops and manages, yet again, to stun us with their raw stupidity, blatent arrogance and total disregard for the public face of Christ and His church in this world…

Stand to Reason:

Brilliant!

Shovel Writings: Luke 13:1-9

“I tell you, Nay: but except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.” Twice Jesus challenged the commonly held assumption that tragedy victims suffer because they have done something particularly bad. So, why would Jesus then make a statement to perpetuate the same fallacy he had exposed? Perhaps we have read something else into his words. Some suggest that the answer is found by inserting the correct meaning of the word repent, and it does … partially. The fact is that the Greek word for repent (metanoia) does not mean “turn from sin”, but refers to a change in perception or a change of mind. I say “partially” because even with the correct interpretation of “repent” Jesus’ statement still does not establish just another view on what one must do to keep from perishing. So, what am I saying? I am telling you that this change of mind is not just a clarification of a partial statement but is totally integrated into the whole of Jesus’ encounter with the people.

So many pastors have pounded the pulpit, demanded that people repent of their sins and condemned them to hell (Or at least God’s contempt) for failing to stop those sins. Ironically, it is that judgment and condemnation that Jesus came to change our minds about — knowing that this self hatred actually causes us to keep on in our broken ways.

So few of us ever stop to try and assess whether or not we have any idea what Jesus is talking about when we read His words. We simply take our English language understanding of the translated words and assume that, if we know the meaning of the word, we understand Jesus’ point.

Perhaps it’s time to change tactics?

spiked-essays | Essay | The curious rise of anti-religious hysteria

Morality marketed by people who do not necessarily ‘believe in such things’ is unlikely to set the world on fire. That is why they resent and hate the Narnia film so much. For all its faults, the movie attempts to transmit a powerful sense of belief, bravery and sacrifice. Such sentiments are alien to a cultural elite that regards the expression of any sort of strong belief as another form of that dreaded fundamentalism. Envy, bad faith and instrumentalism: these are the raw materials that fuel today’s anti-religious crusade.

Why the liberal elite hates C.S. Lewis with such a raving passion.

Guardian Unlimited | World dispatch | Seminal questions

The purpose of religion (As opposed to faith) is power. For a person or a religious entity to have power, they must have control. For a religion to be in control, there have to be areas over which that religion can claim governance and the only way that governance can be legitimized is through convincing adherents that there is a great evil present in an area that must be avoided.

This must be done in areas that are well WITHIN the bounds of what people would actually do in their day to day lives or there is insufficient shame to gain the power desired. (Simply regulating theft and murder is not sufficient for we are seldom enough drawn to commit such that shame levels would remain low and the population would thus remain uncontrollable.)

Very few religions have, in that pursuit of shame based power, been able to resist the lure of regulating marital sexuality for it is one area where people the world over are innately (And correctly) convinced that it should be an area of total freedom thus (in the presence of those false* rules) resulting in continual transgression…

What is intriguing about this article is that most of it could have been cut -n-pasted from fundamentalist evangelical publications of last year. Christianity was supposed to be about freedom but fundamentalist christianity has become so good at using shame and rules to seize power that Islam is falling behind — and has had to steal a page from our book.

*Note: if you doubt that the presence of those rules are false, have a look at the Greek word usage under Hebrews 13:4. There are no rules governing loving sexuality between a husband and a wife.

Hot sex treats common cold.

Just too much fun not to post it…

HOMOPHOBIA: A Scientific Non-Political Definition

Calling all responses to homosexuality other than it “is a normal sexual variation” as homophobic is anti-scientific and decidedly anti-therapeutic. Even in the Textbook of Homosexuality & Mental Health (Cabaj, 1996) published and sponsored by the American Psychiatric Association, the position is taken that homosexuality is a normal variation of human sexuality and not a mental illness. There is no doubt that homophobia exists. There is also no doubt that there are rationalized and irrational anti-homosexual attitudes. However, it would be very valuable for society in general, and therapists in particular, to have a clear picture of homophobia separated from all the other topics that have been lumped under that rubric.

This is probably the most technical link I have ever posted. It is a detailed analysis of what a phobia is and how such is specifically applied to homophobia. It is also a solid explanation of how a loving, caring therapist performing reparative therapy for a client who requests such is nowhere near that definition.

The Psychology Behind Homosexual Tendencies (Parts 1-2)

Many priests grow in holiness and happiness in their ministry as a result of the healing of their childhood and adolescent male insecurity, loneliness and anger and, subsequently, their same-sex attractions.

So says Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons, a psychiatrist, author and contributor to the Catholic Medical Association’s document “Homosexuality and Hope.”

Fitzgibbons shared with ZENIT how some seminarians, candidates for the seminary, and priests can make strides in resolving their homosexual tendencies, and what bishops and religious superiors can do to help them.

suvalleynews.com – Researchers confirm role of massive flood in climate change

Turns out that nearly every major civilization around the world having a flood myth wasn’t just collective human stupidity. Here comes the science…

What scripture really says about the role of women in marriage

Excerpt:
For centuries, the church has been telling women that their role is to do what their husbands want and, if their husbands happen to be Godly, they will like it.

It’s time the church woke up and realized that if we are to continue demanding that women do everything men say as our definition of submission, then we also have to demand that people abandon their labor unions to do everything their employers say and bow to atrocities like abortion or mass murder that governments are perpetrating.

Jesus came to set us free from the bondage we were all under and part of that bondage was the war of power and control that is on between men and woman. He came to set men free to be the powerful, relationally initiatory and passionate beings they were created to be and for women to finally again stand as the beautiful, relationally responsive and powerful life giving beings they were created to be.

He is still calling us to be like the radical cultural revolutionary He was – not to be puppets. He came to tell us that the greatest among us was to be the servant of all. He came to teach us to love – not to avoid or to control. He came to declare war on injustice, on oppression, on the legalistic control that had enslaved His people and destroyed their hearts. He came to set the captives free to be fully human and fully alive. That applies equally to both men and women.

I just wonder if we in the church will ever stop shooting at each other long enough to stand side by side as sons and daughters of the Most High King and finally mobilize for the real war for the hearts and souls of the world.

Neglect ‘leaves a physical mark’

Study suggests that the primary effects of neglect are found in their ability to prevent a child’s ability to bond.

JC’s Girls Girls Girls

This is a must see. This group of women is attacking the erotic/porn industry from the inside. They go into the clubs — to where the broken men and women of the industry work and play — and simply love them while presenting them with the love of Jesus.

They have even adopted the glamor and style that grabs people in that world such that they blend in to it in every way — except they are destroying it from the inside.

No judgment, no condemnation — just the love of Christ and the promise of a better tomorrow. It’s about time!!!

(I do wonder though, how can people so dead-on add such dead-wrong off-site links???)

Giving Your Child the Excellence Edge

Ten key strategies to prepare your children for the future.

XXXchurch.com X3 Operation Save The Kittens

In all of the years I have worked to assist people addicted to erotic and/or pornographic materials to walk free, this has to be one of the most blatantly unhelpful sites I have ever been presented with.

Think about it for a moment: We do things we shouldn’t for two reasons — we have not had our needs met in legitimate and effective ways and we always do whatever it is we are told not to do.

The fact that we are doing things we are told not to do — things which we know are less then beneficial for us — causes us to feel shame. Shame causes us to avoid community with other people and with God (The two places God created for us to have our needs met) and, so, our needs then can not be met in a legitimate manner.

The above reality has been known since the early days of Freud and most legitimate Christian counselors (Those who are not simply secular therapists who happen to be Christians) are trained in such from the first weeks of their training.

Why then does the Christian church insist on continuing to use/play off of unmentionably stupid tactics of blatant shame (Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten) as a means of arresting undesirable behavior when they know full well that it is this shame that caused the problem to begin with?

A pastor I know mentioned a few weeks ago that he had confronted one of his colleagues — a man who had been in his graduating class — with this reality. He had asked him why, if he had been trained in the same seminary and had the same knowledge of grace, did he continue to preach shame and condemnation from the pulpit?

The second pastor’s response, though it put him in a significant amount of distress, was strikingly honest. He said, “Yes, I know all that but, if I ever started to preach that grace, how would I control my flock?”

I have to honor that second pastor — that sort of honesty can be worked with. So few Christian leaders are that self aware.They wouldn’t be able to stay that way if their congregations woke up though.

Healing of any brokenness starts when we admit that we can’t get free, that we don’t even want to be free, that we kinda like our addictions and then we ask one more critical question: “I wonder if there is someone out there who can love me — not as I should be — but just as I am.” (Yes, Billy Graham had it right all along…)

When we finally begin to seek love instead of hide in the shadows and seek performance (Which we will never attain no matter how hard we white-knuckle it…) we have begun to take the first steps out of our brokenness and the first steps towards a ABBA who has the power to so deeply meet our needs that we will never want what we were settling for — never again.

The opposite of white-knuckling is grace — and grace is freedom.

Boundless: The Dating Game: The Dangers of Cash-Based Courtship

“Bailey writes that until the beginning of the 20th century, dating as we know it did not exist. If a man wanted to get acquainted with a woman, he came calling at her parents’ home. He sat on the porch or in the parlor, drank lemonade, and perhaps listened to the young lady play the piano — all under the watchful eyes of her parents.”

This author has come to the rather strange conclusion that, as a result of the socio-cultural shift from a courtship/arranged marriage model to a dating model, women have essentially become prostitutes forced by guilt to perform sexual and emotional favors for the finances that have been spent upon them. The assumption, therefore, is that a great many of the trends towards sexual promiscuity etc in our society are the result of such — ignoring the reality that the underlying causes of sexual promiscuity usually have much more to do with a child’s need for love then with money spent upon them.

This article has value — but only in that it could cause a woman to rethink any feelings of indebtedness sexually — not as any sort of well-reasoned reevaluation of dating.

Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi writes a stimulating assessment of the individual attempting to change his or her sexual orientation — a group he feels hs been neglected by the mental health profession in its attempt to support the liberation of gays. In it he details how, in its attempt to support the liberation of gays, the mental health profession has pushed underground another population. Because it no longer categorizes homosexuality as a problem, it has cast doubt on the validity of the struggle to get free of a homosexual orientation.

Three part interview (Josh Harris, Part 1)

Joshua Harris is probably one of the most controversial authors of our time in that he created either instant delight or instant disgust in the majority of North American evangelicals. While his attempt to arrest a culture of sexual exploitation is valid, his methods are highly suspect.

Harris is essentially an extremely simplistic and legalistic author (Though he has taken great pains to paint himself as the opposite of such.) His writings are highly reactionary and tend towards black and white thinking shunning altogether as invalid any legitimacy in the need of adolescents to learn how to form romantic attachments.

He tends to see any emotional pain of early relational formation/disintegration as without any redeeming qualities and blindly insists that it should be natural and normal to have absolutely no physical intimacy prior to the wedding day.

It is worth noting that the results of studies on groups of young people who have followed this type of approach are beginning to come in. At this point, the results are not fully in but, while this approach appears to delay the onset of sexual activity about 18mo, it seems to actually result in higher levels of it later and a willingness to participate in extreme high-risk activities such as unprotected anal intercourse.

This is one author we cannot recommend. Invariably, we have seen that when an individual approaches a normal relational bonding process with this degree of fear and rigidity the result is either no relationship or a shame based relationship. People simply cannot bond within the parameters he defined — as he mostly admitted a number of years ago before the entire YC youth convention in Edmonton — and not even his wife would fully go with his theories for their own relationship. Because they cannot bond within this structure, they bend the rules to make it happen. This leaves them with the relationship they desire — and false guilt or shame.

When a person attempts to form a bond intended by God to be shame free (Genesis “Naked and unashamed”) under this level of legalistic rigidity, the inevitable result is a damaged bond of intimacy. As with all things, attempting to fight one imbalance with another never results in balance. Rather, it simply polarizes and fans the flames of chaos.

TrueU.org | Truth Lab: Pooh Bear

This is a classic misunderstanding of the difference between moral boundaries and legalism. (No, the two are not synonymous in spite of the years of abuse of the topic.) Yes, God gave us total freedom in Christ and, yes, not following Him is still stupid as well. When we try and balance both rules and grace we end up in an internal conflict because they can not be balanced against each other — they are in opposition.

Ethics do have a place in Christianity — but their place is not in some misguided tolerance or lessening of condemnation under a reclaimed law. It is in the realization that anyone who is living in legitimate grace would have such a hunger to be near the ABBA that they love that they could not even think of violating another and justifying it. Such can still be fully held in a new order where condemnation and the law that created it are FOREVER DEAD.

(License is not grace — it’s legalism reconstituted as the rules have to be there to make breaking them make sense.)(Soft legalism is still legalism though…)

Vanier Institute of the Family

Synopsis of a very long and detailed study demonstrating, yet again, that cohabitation creates a pattern of married-singleness (To say nothing of domestic abuse) that, even after legal marriage takes place, remarkably diminishes the couple’s chances of happiness and long term survival as a marital union.

Ransomed Heart

This is the home site of authors John and Stasi Eldredge — a ministry couple who really get how grace and freedom (Rather then lists of rules) transform a person’s heart. While occasionally their Scriptural references do leave a little to be desired, truth with an off-topic proof text is STILL truth.

Science vs. the “Gay Gene”

A brief synopsis of evidence relating to the biological basis of homosexuality also touching upon the effectiveness of reparative therapy. Well researched and documented.

Kathleen Fischer Hart and Thomas N. Hart: The Call to Holiness in Christian Marriage

Vatican II dramatically changed the way the Roman Catholic Church regarded both the institution (Sacrament) of marriage and the role of men and woman in such. No longer is marriage seen as administered by the priest to the couple but, rather, as a ministry the two prospective spouses mediate to each other. There is also a unique wisdom here (not often found in modern evangelicalism) in Catholicism’s understanding of marriage as, “The church in miniature.” The article further covers a new understanding of how sexual love in a Christian marriage can mediate the experience of God. Very well worth the read.

Drug addiction and alcohol rehabilitation treatment alternative

A very interesting (and covertly Christian) treatment center for chemical dependency which does not use the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)/12 step model (mainly because of AA’s well documented 95% failure rate). Presents an incredibly rational alternative starting with the entire problem of a performance/legalism vs. a grace based model of healing.

Born Gay ProCon.org – Conflict Highlights

A useful summary of the nature/nurture debate surrounding homosexual orientation. The left hand column is remarkably diatribe based…

Researchers Claim To Have Genome Scan Of ‘Sexual Orientation’ In Men

I’ve received repeated requests for information on this issue. To summarize: the, “Proof,” for the gay gene was just another poor study in an increasingly vast collection of poor studies that are quoted by each other’s poor study to enhance the “scientific validity” of what they hypothesize.

Touchstone Archives: Designed for Sex

A lengthy and brilliant natural law assessment of the purpose of human sexuality suggesting that the sexual revolution is actually burying itself.

It is not without some blind spots in terms of its avoidance of the spiritual bonding Paul described as resulting from sexuality but VERY well worth a read.

Naked man disrupts local church service

Today’s example of the Body of Christ demonstrating the tender compassion, welcoming love and healing power of Christ to the broken brought to you by…

The way I read Matthew 25:43, Jesus showed up in Dayton today — and they got Him arrested…

Shovel Writings: Welcome Mat |

License to sin is not the result of “too much” liberty. It is the distortion of liberty … which is not liberty at all! It happens when you turn to the law (a principle, a rule, aka. “the right thing”) in the attempt to produce godliness. It comes from the consideration that some other good news can exist along side of the ONLY good news. Freedom is turned into an opportunity for the flesh when freedom becomes just another word for the concept of getting closer to God by something that you do. The words are there, but they have been changed to mean something else.