Session Notes

Shovel Writings: Forgiveness Response:

“Your emotions are letting you know that you are viewing yourself and/or others by your yardstick … while the gospel declares that your yardstick is the thing you have been saved from … he snapped it into little bitty pieces. Chances are that if the emotions are hanging on after seeing the situation in the reality of Christ that those emotions are being stirred up by something else. I have often discovered that my hateful feelings were not really about the person who said something derogatory to me, but in the simple fact that I had been damning myself in that particular thing for years! Once I got past the bogus notion that SOMEBODY ELSE was to blame for my feelings of inferiority I was able to see the obvious fact that my anger was toward myself! But I had for the longest time transferred the blame, and therefore, the corresponding feelings to another. And so I tried and tried in vain to forgive them (or even to see them in Christ) … and I wondered why I felt these things toward them.
And, in this, I am once again presented with the reality of life vs. death. My Father has given me something tangible to behold and to declare that THIS TOO has been removed by Christ! This is His Spirit witnessing with my spirit and it is saturated with life.”

This is an excellent point about the real source of anger towards others. I pray we stop measuring one another and ourselves.

Budget Busters, Part 1:

“Few families understand how much and what kind of insurance is needed. Insurance should be used as a supplementary provision for the family, not for protection or for profit. Insurance is not designed for saving money or for retirement. So, select insurance based on God’s plan for your life, not on what someone else says you need for your life.”

Budget Busters, Part 2:

“Pay cash for a new car if possible. If not, make sure the current car is paid off before purchasing a new one.”

Motherhood Guilt:

“I want you to consider this inexplicable reality; you haven’t done everything wrong. You’ve taken many actions that are not only harmless but actually wonderful and wise. In fact, you have innumerable memories squirreled away in the quagmire of your maternal mind that are full of light and life and that are indictors of a mothering life well considered.So here we go—say them aloud or write them on a piece of paper—answer this one question: what isn’t on your guilt list—i.e. what have you done right as a mom? Nothing is off limits mentioning. Nothing is too simple or too sappy. Start with the easy stuff…here’s a couple of mine:I don’t feel guilty for picking up my babies every time they criedI don’t feel guilty for baking chocolate-chip cookies nearly once a week for the past 17 yearsI don’t feel guilty admitting I hate to play board gamesSee? Easy. Nothing earth shaking. Just simple, real, guilt-free realities of my simple, real life.”

This is an encouraging article on seeing yourself as a new creation in mothering. This is from an “It is Finished perspective.” May it be so that we focus on “WHAT IS LOVELY.”

In the Shadow of Guilt:

“motherhood is accompanied by the nagging, sometimes debilitating, emotion of guilt (with that tired trio of regret, doubt, and second guessing, thrown in for good measure.) Guilt seems bundled within our XX chromosome mothering genes. And some of that guilt is good. Really. It serves a purpose, and it can help us.”

A good synopsis of the feelings the evil one accuses mothers of harbouring.

globeandmail.com: Mumps outbreak spreads:

“the current strain of mumps originated in Britain, where there was a large outbreak in 2004. Immunization rates had drop significantly in Britain because many people believed the measles-mumps-rubella vaccine caused autism. The vaccine-autism link has since been disproved, he noted.
The disease reached Iowa last year, and Dr. Rau said it has now found its way into Canada.
”It’s global travel compounded with vaccine refusal,“ he said.”

globeandmail.com: Fruit juice not linked to obesity:

“”Children who consume 100 per cent juice had significantly better diets, higher intakes of some key nutrients,“ said Theresa Nicklas, the Baylor College of Medicine child nutritionist who led the study. Consumption of vitamin C, potassium, magnesium, folate, and B6 were higher among children who drank juice, she said.”

GOT A CLUE ABOUT YOUR GQ*?:

“ It always hurts to break up. And it reeks when you’re not the one choosing to end it. (That’s one reason many of you choose courtship over dating.) But when it’s over, it’s best to let it be over. Give it some time to let the awkwardness and pain go away before trying to be best buds with the girl. So you’re trying to take Ling at her word with b? Sounds like you’re trying to put words in her mouth—and feelings in her heart. And a? DUH! Minus 5.
9. The lesson to remember here is that when a girl says she doesn’t like you like that, she means . . . she doesn’t like you like that. Don’t take it as a total rejection. Instead, be content with the great friendship with a cool girl. You’ll still get to hang out with her and do stuff in groups. What an awesome chance to learn more about women. That’s probably even better than taking this quiz.”

This article has some good points on relating to women. Trying to make something happen is true, especially for women.

IS HOLDING HANDS ENOUGH?:

“Okay, I get the picture. But I’m not sure it applies with girls. After all, prolonged kissing won’t make you a sex addict, will it?”
No. But even this minor step gets old after a while. While your lips are busy, there’s nothing to do with your hands. Or is there?“

These are some good thoughts to consider, especially for teens. It has to do with the level of true commitment one has with each other towards marriage. Both of the partners ways may need be given to God.

WHY DO YOU WANT A GIRLFRIEND?:

“So there’s this girl. Yeah, we know: She’s fun, pretty, spiritually strong, and a good friend. You love hanging out with her, and you’ve started wondering about taking things to the next level—you know, a relationship. But why?
It sounds like you’ve got a good thing going. You know each other well. You have fun hanging out together without the awkwardness of being a couple. And you’re getting great practice in learning how to relate to the opposite sex.
So in all your deep contemplation, ask yourself these questions:
• Why do I want this girl friend to become my girlfriend?”

These are some excellent questions to ask regarding the timing of a serious relationship.

Shovel Writings: The grace of an ’A’:

“In rebuilding a system of performance relationships are severed. For we not only find ourselves at odds with one another but also with our own selves – and we also insist that GOD relates to us on the same basis. But the grace of Christ is measureless. His riches cannot be determined by any standard of man. And it has no lines by which to attach a score.
So, how are we to live in a world that is built upon such a system of measure? Simple. Live as one who has been made alive. Don’t you know that the measuring system of the world is NOT your measuring system? Don’t you know that you ALREADY have within you the life that the world only PRETENDS to achieve? If we are going to operate within the world we will often be forced to take its tests, but the world’s evaluation of you is irrelevant for your worth is in Christ. Don’t spiritualize the world’s system, instead, see it for what it is. The difference between grace and law will become increasingly obvious!!”

This is a good article on how even grace can be measurerd. However we are still operating under the world’s system, which we are not to do. The laws of the land are God administration so the world does not destroy itself.

Shovel Writings: The Word made Flesh:

“I thank the Lord when the angels said peace on earth toward men because of Jesus Christ .This year my eyes have been open to the true peace which is resting in the work of God threw Jesus Christ.Knowing He lives in me and made me one with Himself.I am so thankful that He has given me a new live to indentify with and that we have peace with God threw Jesus Christ.I thank the Lord for opening peoples eyes to this truth Love

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Shovel Writings The SHOVELETTER : Random Letters 2001
Re: The Word made Flesh



Posted: Sep-06-03 by the shovel 
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Dan, I am thrilled that you are seeing your reality in Christ – for this is true freedom!!!”

This is an excellent article stating there needs to be Peace of earth because of Jesus rising on the cross. It is what the angels proclaimed after His birth. This is our reality in Christ which is true freedom. When we let Jesus walk through us as He really is, this is our Freedom to be truly alive.

globeandmail.com: Five-point vitamin D primer:

“Dr. Cannell believes everyone should have a blood test to determine, then monitor, their vitamin D levels. He recommends going to the doctor three or four times a year and asking for a 25 Hydroxy Vitamin D level test. ”It should be between 125 and 150 nanomoles per litre,“ he said. ”It’s important that the patient not accept the doctor saying your levels are fine. They’ve got to get the number and get their levels up.“
HOLD OFF ON THE SUNSCREEN
”If you properly apply sunscreen, you might as well stay inside,“ Dr. Cannell says.”

SIX LIES ABOUT SEX:

“One day she said, ”I don’t think you love me. All you ever want to do is kiss.“ She spat the last word like poison. Her bitterness ran deep. Having thrown away the boundaries, they had ”kissed“ far more than each others lips. She almost gave him back the ring.
Dave wanted to scream, that it wasn’t his idea to kiss in the first place. But he didn’t. Dave knew that being the relationship’s leader, he’d made bad choices. He couldn’t blame her.
The couple backed off to cooler, more manageable boundaries. They stopped kissing, but the scars were there. Scars don’t go away.
When the wedding day came, technically Dave and his bride were still virgins. But as ”technical virgins“ on the most special day of their lives, they didn’t feel too special. They had acted like impatient children at Christmas. The gift of sex had been partially unwrapped. When they finished unwrapping it the night they got married, it wasn’t much of a surprise.
Years later, Dave still feels the sting of his wrong choices. With the clarity of hindsight, here are a few of the lies he believed:”

This is an excellent article that outlines the progression of physical relationships. However there is still an emphasis on the rules, even though it says there are none. The law-based legalism of the culture is what causes the guilt. The Lord just wants us to have as much happiness/surprise that anticipation elicits. The lies need to be given to God so His perspective and way can be lived out in the believers.

Shovel Writings: The Application of Grace:

“As far as believing goes, we have been brought into faith. It’s going on the whole time. We become so sure that we don’t even believe Him so often, but then we find ourselves believing Him even though we find nothing left in ourselves. His Spirit witnesses with our spirits that we are His offspring even though everything around us demands that this is not possible. We do become quite aware of this real dependence from time to time, but the mistake is to think that our faith comes and goes. The truth is that WE grow in IT. I am amazed as how often I saw myself as being OUTSIDE of this faith, instead of being wrapped up inside it!!! Know this, that your ”miracle“ ears hear Him and you are encouraged and uplifted in faith in so many ways. Of course you will sense yourself being built up sometimes when reading or hearing the written words of the Bible (both the old writings, and the letters of the apostles). You will also discover the same in your encounters throughout the day – especially when you recognize how free you are to hear God in EVERYTHING!!”

This is a clear article on the whole disagreement about when you are saved/have a good heart. We do not have to try/apply, because like a bandage, it will come off The reason is: it is not a part of us. The Good News is that Christ, His qualities and risenness are, for He is in you!!!

Once A Month Cooking Recipes:

“Chicken Parmesan
1/3 C. dry bread crumbs
2 Tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese
3/4 tsp. Italian Seasoning
1/2 tsp. Garlic Powder
1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts

1 egg, beaten
1 can (8 oz) tomato sauce
3/4 C. shredded mozzarella cheese

To freeze: Combine first four ingredients in
a shallow bowl. Dip each chicken breast in beaten egg, then roll in bread
crumb mixture to evenly coat.

Place chicken on a greased cookie sheet or
jellyroll pan. Bake in preheated
375′ F. oven 10 min. Turn chicken over; bake
10-12 min. or until chicken is thoroughly cooked.

Freeze in 1 gallon bag with separate bags of
sauce and shredded cheese.

To serve: Thaw overnight in the refrigerator.
Reheat chicken in 375′ F. oven until heated through and crust is crispy.
Spoon tomato sauce over chicken. Sprinkle cheese over top. Bake an additional
3 minutes or until cheese is melted.”

Cal’s fav!

Shovel Writings: In Fear and Trembling:

“< >

The miracle of His Life is the miraculous ability to be what He was – fully human!
To be fully human – naked and not ashamed, what scintillating delight!!
The brutal honesty of His love shatters the illusions of prominence and importance………it frees me to be wholly His.


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This is an excellent support that God took away sin. It is through our weaknesses that God’s reality of love shines through us.

The Princess Wish :

“Respectable and
Admirable

A princess doesn’t compete with a prince. Just the
opposite, she builds him up. It’s her admiration and
respect that inspire the prince and compel him to
greatness. When he sees that he’s a hero in her eyes,
it’s no wonder he’s willing to suffer for her. A hero will
go through anything to keep an admiring princess by
his side.
These qualities of princesses from long ago are still the
virtues that attract a prince today. And they’re already
yours. If you’re a daughter of the King, these graces
are your royal heritage. Like Mia in The Princess
Diaries, all you need to do is practice them through
the power of the Holy Spirit. It’s not just a wish or a fairy
tale, it’s the wonderful truth.”

This is a captivating article for teenage girls. The sections about sin are more better stated in terms of giving up your way. After which those loving qualities of God will be lived out in you. It is affirming to know the Father wants you to give him your heart. He wants to give His best to you, especially in terms of the timing of a spouse. May it be so for my girls, nieces and friends, God willing in them.

Live with Regis and Kelly – Green Week on LIVE:

“CLEAN & DISINFECT TILE, FLOOR, SHOWER, ETC.

Mix two tablespoons Borax, a little lemon juice & hot water and pour into a spray bottle
Borax disinfects as well as fighting mold & mildew
Citrus, like lemon is a natural acidic cleanser and is great for mineral build-up”

Is Remarriage a Step in the Right Direction?:

“Furthermore, loss always brings the fear of more loss. When persons start protecting themselves from more loss, walls are built. ”I’m afraid my kids and new husband will turn against each other. It would be just another failure,“ said one mom. Her teenage son echoed her fear, ”I’m afraid of getting close to anyone. With all I’ve had to live through I keep waiting for it to happen all over again.“”

This is a realistic article of blended families.

Shovel Writings: To him who overcomes:

“This may sound like a denial of reality in view of what you and I see happening in ourselves and would call it anything but ”walking in Christ“, but it is the denial of this reality of our life being in Christ that hurts so many believers and has them reflecting anything but Christ! When we forget who we are, we act and think as insane men, as men of this world. What we need is to be snapped out of the insanity!!! And the ONLY reality by which this can happen is through the miraculous ”hearing“ whereby we KNOW who we really are.
All of the things mentioned to ”he who overcomes“ are the REALITIES of our inheritance in Christ. These are not ”rewards“ such as may be missed out on … ”FOR ALL THINGS BELONG TO YOU, AND YOU BELONG TO CHRIST; AND CHRIST BELONGS TO GOD.“ (1 Cor. 3:22-23),”

This is an excellent article on that Christ took away sin despite appearances.

Colon Cleansing, Constipation, IBS, Colonix, Cleanse, Detox – Online Resource:

“Research clearly proves that our bodies are not capable of eliminating all the different toxins and chemicals we inhale and ingest every day. They simply accumulate in our cells (especially fat cells), tissues, blood, organs (such as the colon, liver and brain) and remain stored for an indefinite length of time causing all kinds of health problems. I can’t show you a picture of what this pollut”

This is the information a naturopath gave me for IBS and mind fog.

Shovel Writings: Man-Centered Gospel:

“What is needed is the revelation from God that brings confidence that all revolves around His Son and the work HE has done. For we have received all spiritual blessings IN HIM. The words will follow as the heart is settled. The beautiful part is that those words don’t have to mimic somebody else’s words, but instead, will be full of life.”

This is a good concise article on the tension between my salvation being up to me or God. The conflict is between the witness of the Spirit and the outside. I pray we walk in the truth of what we have known all along.

Fatherhood:

“Before the industrial revolution, fathers often worked side by side with their sons and instructed their children in spiritual values. When industrialization took over the American landscape, fathers left their farms and headed to the factories. Fourteen- to 16-hour workdays set the stage for the absentee father. Eventually, fathers came to be regarded as merely breadwinners who fulfilled their paternal duties by providing.”

This is a good point. Yes the father’s primary role is providing. However it is not to the exclusion of being there for the kids. Before kids worked with their dads alongside. Now one needs to make time for the recitals/final games/lifeskills etc. The tasks need to be done anyway. It is important to ask the child to tag along. Show them how you do it. May it be so.

Marketing Strategies:

“Children like to collect things. Some notable companies have capitalized on this by making a variety of products and then convincing kids that they have to obtain them all. Pokémon and Ty Beanie Babies are two corporations who have been especially good at this technique.Toy companies personify their stuffed animals and dolls, giving them names and birthdays. This strategy allows kids to connect with their toys as if they were real.”

This is so true. First it was pollys. Now it’s the pet shoppe. God said view it form the It’s Finsihed perspective. He said, GIVETHE TOYS AWAY WHEN THEY HAVE OUTGROWN THEM TO CHARITY. MATERIALISM?DISCONTENT IS NOT THE ISSUE. THEY ARE THEIR PAY FROM ME. IGIVE KIDS JOY NOT DEPRIVATION.

Shovel Writings: Living In Sin:

“What kind of gospel leaves you in the
unknown regarding the very premise of the actual ”good news“ of Christ,
which is full confidence in one’s relationship to God through
Christ?  What kind of gospel causes you to think it’s all about
what you do or don’t do, when the good news declares that it’s not
about you at all but all about Christ and what he has done and is now
doing?  Do you see where I’m going with this?  Perhaps your
shame is linked to a ”gospel“ that is more about your successes and
failures than about Christ.”

This is an excellent article clearly stating the two positions. Either one lives under the condemnation of the law or lives out Christ. Both cannot be the Good News.

Easing the Home Schooling Load:

“Encourage personal devotions and study.Take time to try to fill learning ”gaps“ (what your child should know but does not) or move ahead.Try not to overwhelm or under-challenge your child.Teach study skills and test-taking skills.Continue grammar and writing.Begin learning about high school record keeping.Continue reading alone and together.Senior High (9th through 12th grades)”

Shovel Writings: The Absurd Gospel:

“While many have emphasized Paul’s statement, ”Therefore as you have RECEIVED Christ Jesus the Lord, so WALK in Him“, is it not possible that Paul’s intended emphasis would look more like this: ”Therefore as you have received CHRIST JESUS THE LORD, so walk in HIM“? What’s the difference? One revolves around us, the other around Christ.”

This is an excellent article on fear conditionalizing grace. We need to show mercy to law thinkers because we all have been so steeped in it. It is hard to understand let alone explain.

Learning and Homework:

“Lists many sites offering reviews of children’s literature.Dictionary and Thesaurus* — Merriam-Webster OnLine.Encyclopedias* — Includes links to Britannica Online (also, try the free concise version), plus a variety of specialized encyclopedias.AskA+ Locator* — A directory of places you can go to get expert answers to your questions.”

Challenges in the Teen Years:

“Yet another incentive may involve a fashionable article of clothing that would not ordinarily be within your teen’s budget. Offering her a means of obtaining such luxuries is a happy alternative to the whining, crying, begging, complaining and pestering that might occur otherwise. Mom says, ”Sure you can have the ski sweater, but you’ll have to earn it.“ Once an acceptable motivator is agreed upon, the second step can be implemented.”

This is an excellent motivator to live out Jesus and His love to get the things kids even age 3 and a half would like to buy. Probably a parent would purchase the items anyways. It is a way to encourage budgeting skills, discernment, blessings of God, and patience. The only drawback is the excessive toys and mess. God seemed to say it is a way to give out of abundance to cousins/friends. I had the fear it would foster discontent and materialism but it was not of the Lord. Anyways those issues are “Finished in the risen Jesus.

Cash Clash: What’s Below the Surface?:

“ Don’t begin your conversations in a negative tone and expect something positive to come out of it.Be kind and compassionate to one another…—Eph. 4:32(KJV)Am I harboring unresolved hurt or resentment? Sometimes it’s easier to argue about money than to admit when we have hurt feelings. If your spouse has hurt you and you’re still harboring that hurt — or maybe even resentment — you’re going to see everything through that filter of hurt. When your spouse tries to discuss financial issues, you’ll be more likely to overreact.”

This is a good article encouraging on to give God the hurt and anger quickly so His Spirit can bring about an objective conflict resolution discussion with ones spouse. If one is living out God’s life of integrity/compassion/love it inspires the other to do so as well if He/she is a believer. There need not be judgement so honesty and trust can flow freely. These are the core/root issues.

Financial Authority:

“ The plan needs to be fair and equal for all concerned. Remember that a marriage is a partnership and partners share in all things. Avoid the ”his money, her money“ or the ”I deserve this because“ attitude.”

This is a good article because it talks about the role of spouses to balance the extremes of the other in decisions. One is not sinful because Jesus took the offenses away. Submitting your life or remebering it all is submitted is essential.

His, Hers or Ours?:

“There is nothing wrong with the wife handling the finances in the family if she is the better administrator, but God still holds the husband accountable for the ultimate decisions.When there is an impasse, the wife must yield to her husband and allow the Lord to work it out. As they work together, encouraging one another, God will show them His favor and grace.”

This is a good article minus the judgement about yielding in marriage to a husband. Trusting God to work all things for good is key.

Shovel Writings: The Renewing of the Mind:

“The religious lie of this world would have us suspect our problems are found by running after SIN, when in fact, we’ve been tricked into pursuing a fleshly ”RIGHTNESS“ … which is nothing but LAW!  ”

When we are concerned about what we say/do as opposed to who were are in the risen Christ, this is the law of the Pharisees. Jesus spoke against them. Maybe with our parenting we need to say to them,“live out Christ and His love that is in you.” With our spouses and family/friends maybe we need to think of them/ourselves in terms of the life of Jesus in all situations/them, rather than the fleshy logic of sin. We all can verify the presence of sin, but it takes faith to not judge the Spirit by appearances.

Shovel Writings: Reality or Psycho-Babble?:

“We are afraid of fear itself. We are afraid because of so many verses taken out of context and used to beat us up with until our hearts are bloody and raw and in agony, and then we fear even more.

It is a very good thing to be secure in our New Identity and realize that MOST fears come from the INsecurity we have been wallowing in and perpetuating for sooo long … fears based on deception and lies that we have fed ourselves and each other.

The GOOD NEWS of CHRIST, which is also OUR GOOD NEWS because of HIM and our NEW IDENTITY in HIM, is the only thing that soothes the pain of so much insanity and insecurity that we endure.
”

This fear feeling is the key difficulty in loving others and God. It is not about the other person at all. Most deep conflicts are not about another. If we do not surrender fears, these feelings reinterpret what we hear. Others feel unloved by distrust. We in turn feel guilty/alone or vice versa. The only solution is consciously resting in Jesus and our new identity on Him based on the true Good News. The basis of our fears is Finished as well.

Shovel Writings: Waiting for God:

“yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.” (Romans 4:18-21)
If this proves anything, it shows that God does not see as a man sees. No, no, it’s not that He IGNORES reality, for He sees past the illusions and into the TRUE reality of the heart.
“In hope AGAINST hope he believed”. Do you not see the tension stated clearly in this man who was “waiting for God” to do what He promised? Somehow he was still believing even though he took matters into his own hands. We can argue it all we want, but it’s right there in our faces.“

This is an excellent article clearly explaining how one walks by faith not sight. We often are so caught up in insanity because we forget who we are in Him and what He has done on the cross.

Life After Miscarriage:

“Don’t blame yourself. The most common reasons women miscarry are missing pieces of genetic information in the fertilized egg or improper implantation of the baby into the uterine lining. Women don’t miscarry because they ate something they shouldn’t have, or didn’t take folic acid or get enough rest. Miscarriage is God’s way of making sure that when you do have a baby, it has the best chance for a healthy life. Though it may feel like it, it’s not a punishment.”

This is an encourging article sharing that women often feel to blame years after it has occurred. It has good suggestions to accept the lass through memorializing.

Shovel Writings: Just Listen (Michael Daniel):

“I kept seeing a glimmer of hope and light
when…you listened to me.

Your penetrating relevant words were evidence
that…you listened to me.

Your tender yet confident words were soothing
to my hurting heart because…you listened to me.

Many times you said not a word, but I knew
without a doubt…you listened to me.

Even in your silence I heard you say ”I love
you“ as…you listened to me.

I saw in your eyes the compassion of Christ
because…you listened to me.

Jesus Himself met me where I was as…you
listened to me.

Then, a miracle began to happen because…you
listened to me.

My own ears began to open because…you listened
to me.”

This is an excellent poem which shows the progression of healing pain. One needs to come to the end of himself/herself like the thief on the cross. By listening one comes to the stillness of rest/trust/love of Him in us.

Shovel Writings: A One-Word Sermon: Paul:

“So I thought I could see and I deep down didn’t care if I could hear
anyone else.  But grace (oh, what a phrase!)…but grace abounded for me
on that dusty road to Damascus where Christ transformed my seeing and
my hearing.  Christ blinded me initially so I could focus on hearing
His strong, yet tender voice.  And He called me by my old name, Saul. 
Imagine that, He called me by my name…my old sin-full, selfish name. 
How could the spotless Lamb of God speak such a dirty word as that? 
How could He love unconditionally like that?  That’s beyond me.  That’s
grace.  
Yes, He called me by my name…He called me by my name…He called me by my
name…I just can’t get over the truth that He called me by my
self-righteous name!  He met me where I was…in my self-righteousness. 
I am so grateful He called me even when I wasn’t willing to listen, and
especially when I didn’t deserve it.  
He called me by my name just as He calls each of His beloved friends by
their personal names…including each of you.  And He called each of us
through questions that only He could answer…and each of us were drawn
to the truth inside those questions…we each were drawn to Truth
Himself.  ”Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?“  ”Peter, do you
love Me?“  ”Philip, don’t you know I am the truth?“  ”Oh Thomas, don’t
you believe Me through my scars?“ ”

This is an interesting article encouraging the rest in God’s grace. I find it interesting that one can still question with emotion to surrender. It is still abiding/praying with Him in us. I wonder why if traditional Christianity teaches the centrality of confess sins that Paul did not do it in his writings. Only Saul did it before he was made new.

Shovel Writings: The Peace of Christ – 2:

“ Now, was Paul
teaching us to learn to distinguish the feelings of the Spirit from the
feelings of the world?  Was he then asking us to trust those
feelings of peace we get from the Spirit?  Is this what it means
to be ”led by the Spirit“?  It may be the popular teaching, but if
Paul TAUGHT it where did he WRITE it?  I read his letters and I
see someone who would never establish a practice of making
decisions based on a relative sense of ”peace“.  Instead, he
constantly insisted on basing all things on what Christ had ALREADY
accomplished. ”

This is an excellent article clearly stating that God is leading through His Spirit 24/7. (ROM 8:14) This is a great article for married couples who sometimes have difficulty completely trusting their spouse is in “God’s will.”

But I Don’t Feel Like It:

“Decide to take ”divorce“ out of your dictionary. My husband, Bill, and I have counseled couples back to happiness from all kinds of crises: loss of a child, loss of a home, all kinds of addictions, affairs, and a whole lot of ”I’m tired of trying.“ The Bible does give a few allowances for what we call the 3 A’s (Affairs, Abuse, Abandonment) — but just because you feel you can file for divorce doesn’t mean you should! Look at Hosea and Gomer in the Bible. That’s redeeming love, the kind of love God”

This article discusses the biblical reasons for divorce.

His Righteous Judgement

Shovel Writings: John 7:24 Judge with righteous judgment:

“Instead, according to fleshly wisdom we learned
that ”time heals all wounds“, not allowing ourselves to realize that
older wounds get overshadowed and sometimes replaced by newer wounds
making us suppose it just went away. We all know what it is to judge
this way, it is all we knew before.To judge according to Christ
IS to judge righteously. It is the only possibility by which everything
can be seen for what it is. Life is life, death is death. ”

This is a good clarifying article. Maybe it is best to look at appearances to see it as is now. This is so we are not in denial. Yet also determine if one is a believer and accept God’s righteous judgement, that all things are new for a true Christian.

Are We Confused Because We Think We Can Fall Out of Fellowship?

Shovel Writings: Confessing sins to restore fellowship?:

“No wonder we’re so confused — we’re trying to get back into something we didn’t fall out of!  Did you not notice that John NEVER used the phrase ”in fellowship“ or ”out of fellowship“?  If that’s what he meant wouldn’t he have said something like it?  As it is, we talk about ”fellowship“ with God as if it meant that He is happy with us at the moment because we are doing the things neccessary to please Him.  But having fellowship with God means having all things in common with God.  Just how much confession, do you suppose, will bring you such intimacy?  No, my friend, it took Jesus’ death to put an end to the darkness we were in; and in doing so, He passed from death into life, and brought us into that same life.  If confessing sins could restore fellowship, Jesus Christ would not have had to die to make it happen.”

This is an excellent point as to why there is a lot of depression in Christians. Confessing to friends about everything you think is bad about you does not keep you in relationship. The same illustration can be said for fellowship with God.

Mind Tricks: Do We Still Sin?

Shovel Writings: Walking in the light:

“”I am the light of the world; he who follows Me shall not walk in the darkness, but shall have the light of life. (John 8:12)“ I’ll bet your mind just played a trick on you that changed the whole meaning.  Did you read it this way: ”he who FOLLOWS Me shall not walk in the darkness …“?  Did you think, ”Yeah, but what does it mean to ‘follow’?“  But the emphasis in Jesus’ statement would read like this: ”he who follows ME …“.  It was not about the quality of the following.  Everybody follows somebody.  If that somebody is Jesus, His claim applies.  For if you are IN the light, then everywhere you walk is in the light.”

This is an excellent illustration of how easily/quickly our mind goes off-track. Yet to me, believers still do not sin. Amen.

If We confess Our Sins But There Is No Then

Shovel Writings: What the verse does not say:

“”If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.“  1 John 1:9 (NASB)
Before I get into what the verse IS saying, I think it will help to notice something that it is NOT saying, because most who focus on confession are teaching something that isn’t even there.
Does the word ”if“ automatically imply a corresponding ”then“?  Or didn’t you notice that the verse doesn’t say ”then“?”

This is a traditional argument but haven’t we always believed this verse had a “then” that follows. The meaning is changed.

We Don’t Confess Our Sins Anymore

Shovel Writings: Could it mean something else?:

“If you are familiar with ”confession“ you’ve heard 1 John 1:9 (”If we confess our sins …“).  It has got to be the most exploited verse in the New Testament.  It should come as no surprise since there are NO OTHER VERSES in the N.T. that seem to say we are forgiven and cleansed from our sins because we confess them.  Go ahead and look for them, thou shalt not find them (There are a few verses that seem to support the traditional teaching, but not by themselves.).  ”

This a key article stating that there are no other verses we need to continue confessing our sins for cleansing. Traditionalists may be doing this ritual because they are constantly questioning that Jesus took away all sin. They are looking at external appearance. I pray this shift does not occur for any of us if we have the “Jesus Finsihed It” view.

Doubting Your Relationship to God

Shovel Writings: Introduction:

“First John needs to be read from John’s perspective, not Paul’s.  Ignore this and you may see what John was NOT saying, but you’ll miss most of what he WAS saying.
John wrote this letter to a group of believers who were doubting their own relationship to God.  ”

This is a good reminder of a article. 1 John was written to encourage BELIEVERS not to question their relationship to God with unbelievers. I would also challenge the believers not to compare the depth of fellowship with the Lord with other Christians. This is particularly true of the ones who do not adhere to the KNOWing only the “Finished Work of Christ” Good News. There is a danger with sharing our personal experiences with the Father. However, I feel the benefits are more than the drawbacks.

How Can I Cut My Spouse’s Apron Strings?:

“ Talk about how the two of you would like decision making to work. Would you prefer that the two of you make choices without getting input from either set of parents? Are there some decisions you’d ask one set of parents about, but not the other? Be aware that asking for parents’ advice can be a slippery slope. It may leave them feeling the door is open for them to give you input into other areas, or even to ”correct“ decisions you’ve already made. Credit each other and your in-laws with goodwill toward your marriage”

This is a good article, with the exception where it does not acknowledge conflicts with believers needs to be handled differently. If both couples believe in Jesus’ risenness one needs to approach them as no one party is “right.” Both have the Lord living out His righteousness in them. I like the point that one makes changes themselves and discuss it, if the issue is risen by the other party. This is according to the God’s leading.

Shovel Writings: Those other guys:

“The funny thing is that we really would relate to what these guys wrote about if we weren’t so busy trying to make what they wrote fit into our ”applications“ of our reinterpretations of their words.”

This is a good point so we will share our interpretations and not be just silently going along with church/religious culture. It challenges us to go back and receive God’s perception. I find it sad it often silences people for fear they will deceive.

Shovel Writings: A Quick Synopsis:

“This is totally unexplanable since I am innocent in the matter, so I can do nothing but leave it in God’s hands.
To this:
Since I did nothing to bring this on what the hell is God doing!!??

”Then these three men ceased answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes.“

That’s when some young guy by the name of Elihu jumped in to tell Job
that he was tired of listening to Job flaunting his wisdom above God
while justifying himself before God.  Then God made himself known
to Job and also made it known that HE was the one who would speak for
Job.”

This is an excellent illustration of the progression of our thoughts/feelings to God giving His perspective.

Shovel Writings: Disclaimer:

“I’m not saying that you haven’t heard this before, because if you are of God then you ALREADY know the truth.  What I have discovered is that ANYTHING … even good stuff … will demand that you shift your focus from Christ! ”

This is a central message. If we focus on promoting the good things of life the Good News, of the risen Christ, is not clearly recognized. This is the point. It is not about avoiding “the ”world“

Shovel Writings: Inferiority?:

“ I’ve heard some really strange things here from believers who have some fantastic insight into grace, but have threads of legalistic views intwined in the very grace they speak of and cannot see it.  I’m sure that all of my views are not the final say by any means and that God willing (I KNOW that He is) I will become of any worldly fabrications that I myself possess and trust the Lord to remove these stumbling blocks
SHOVEL: For I determined to know nothing among you except Christ and Him crucified.  Remember that?  How simple it is.
FRIEND: YES, I am crucified with Christ daily BUT NEVERTHELESS I live, but not I BUT CHRIST THAT LIVETH IN ME
SHOVEL: Don’t lean upon the daily thing, the tense is that you HAVE BEEN crucified with Christ. Done, finished!  Now, do you see the ”among you“ in the verse I quoted, 1 Cor 2:2?
FRIEND: yes
SHOVEL: Paul said he determined to know nothing among THEM except Christ and Him crucified!!  Why do you suppose he said that?”

This is a intense to the extreme stimulating grace discussion. One is either of the belief we are either alive to Christ/the Spirit of God is in us or it is not the case. “God remove any block I create.”

Shovel Writings: Walking in faith?:

“ He just says, in God’s own way and in His own time He will move us out of the desert and into Life … we ARE in Life now, ‘in Christ … he always stressed about ‘being real’
Shovel: how so?
Friend: ‘being true to yourself and what we feel on the inside … never was our identity in Christ taught
Shovel:   … wow, what a trap … it is amazing how easily our thoughts can be pulled from our true life
Friend: he stressed how all things are lawful … yes, and they are, we can truely live anyway we want
Shovel: and we call that, ”being real“, huh?
Friend: but, BUT we have a New Life in Christ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shovel: yes I used to hold to a particular view … about Romans 6 … and walking in Newness of Life … I heard it from a couple other guys … it didn’t seem right. … It was this – that until you come to count upon that fact …. reckoning, it is called … until you ”reckon“ yourself dead unto sin and alive unto God … you cannot walk in newness of Life. ”

This is a stimulating dialogue. When we walk in what is already true, the risen Christ/we are dead to sin, this is walking in faith. May it be so.

Are vitamins good for you?: Sci-Tech: News: News24:

“She saw nothing wrong with people taking a low-dose one-a-day multivitamin and mineral supplement.




There was evidence that people taking low dose supplements had reduced rates of chronic disease.




”It certainly doesn’t do any harm, and could well do you some good,“ she said.




However taking doses many times the recommended daily allowance (RDA) could be seriously harmful.




Collins said she saw four or five people a year whose health was affected by high levels of supplements, and at least one a week who was taking an ”inappropriate“ dose of vitamins or minerals.



The recommended daily allowance (RDA) for vitamin C is 60mg and for magnesium 300mg. – Sapa-dpa”

Shovel Writings: Faith:

“Friend: what about taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ?
Shovel: consider it thru
Friend: yes, I realize that in the war, we fight ‘from’ victory and not ‘for’ victory
Shovel: how could ANY thought be taken CAPTIVE? … and then consider it says, EVERY thought
Friend: only Christ by controlling our minds can do this job … I want Him to do so!!!
Shovel: yes … it is as we go thru our stuff we are walking by faith … that means having your eyes on something that sounds stupid, foolish to our logical mind
Friend: I know that in Romans 6 that we are to continually reckon ourselves to be dead to sin and alive to God, (resting in what is true)
Shovel: yes … doesn’t that sound ethereal
Friend: many legalist believe that this is a ‘work’ to make it true and that is of course a lie from hell ”

It is difficult to comprehend that even our beliefs can be “works”or legalism. This is an excellent point form article showing how spiritual words can be viewed in a fleshy way. “Jesus allow me to see only in the Spirit.”

Shovel Writings: Intro:

“It’s amazing what you hear when you really listen.  It’s not easy because you and I are so used to hearing others from our own perspective — and not from theirs.  Why do you think people pay psychologists so much money to sit back and listen to them answer their own questions?  What if we were to do this with each other, but our questions were driven by the desire ”to know nothing among you except Christ and Him crucified (1 Cor2:2)“?  ”

This is the key to the Good News. I pray our focus as sin for believers is not the real issue. When we surrender our self-protective feelings there is no need to avoid/defend. Pray our eyes remain seeing Jesus took the offense feared away.

Shovel Writings: Time Out:

“he error would be to overlook your feelings and to write me off as a confrontational heretic!  For the reality is that our feelings are indicators of what we think and believe.  So, please don’t do the self-righteous, stoic thing by stuffing your feelings and justifying your position!  I know, I’m very well acquainted with the process.  And so my question to you is this:  while your head is filled with offended feelings and the desire to make yourself appear better, do you sense the undercurrent within you that you may actually be fighting against who you truly are?

Back to Top”

He offers an interesting self-examination exercise. However it needs to be looked at regarding the Finished Work of Christ. There is no need to justify as we have been by Him. One just needs to empathize. It is a good way to come to the end of ourselves and rest in who we are in Him.

Shovel Writings: The Issue of Salvation:

“Salvation as an issue will always be up for grabs to whoever presents the most binding case based upon Scriptural proof-texts.


Back to Top”

The “It is Finished” argument will be debated until one realizes God’s Spirit is the final authority. That produces fear because there is no law and one is not sure if another’s belief is surrendered.

Shovel Writings: The Religious Formula:

“Such is the religious formula.  And that’s what is being done with
each and every repetition of the ”sinners-prayer“. ”

When we focus on the sin confess cycle we lose sight of that the Biblical letters are revealed as Jesus testimony that He took away sin.

Shovel Writings: A handle on grace:

“ For when
we categorize grace into doctrines, definitions, or nice little sayings
that allow us to avoid the stuff that continues to haunt us we only
learn how to mold it around those hidden fears, guilt and shame. 
No doubt much is learned in the process, but it becomes sterile. 
That’s why we add stuff to Christ even while stating that nothing can
be added.”

This is the point. When we add the words of “life” or call attention to “mistakes” the gospel that Jesus finished sin is lost.

How to Treat Food Poisoning – eHow.com :

“You can use over-the-counter medications to control vomiting or diarrhea, but it is usually better not to use anything for at least the first 6 or 8 hours. The bacteria or virus causing the problem will pass from your body faster if you don’t try to slow it down.”

Anger Busters for Kids:

“Model anger management. ”Mommy is feeling very angry right now, so I’m going to take time to be alone and get some self-control.Show respect. Don’t participate by calling names or getting physical.Give them words to express their anger. “I know you are disappointed, or sad or frustrated.”Identify with their pain. “I remember when I didn’t get to go to a party…”Set positive limits. Instead of saying, “Don’t you throw that doll,” say, “After you put the doll on the table, we can go have snack.”Redirect energy bursts that often come with anger. Encourage positive outlets like running, jumping, blowing into a horn or painting.Avoid power struggles with your child. They’re always lose-lose situations. If your goal is to control, you will teach him to control others.“

This article is excellent for mother, particularly with girls because one has to model it. In my opinion, time outs, focusing on the positive show grace not that a child has won. If one tries to control them by always having your way, they may tend to overcompensate by attempting to control their siblings/friends/you.

Understanding Biased Perceptions:

“ although it is often biased perception that makes an alternative seem more satisfying, it is possible to become attracted to someone who actually would be more satisfying to you than your mate. There may be something missing in your marriage that you desperately want, and although it might develop later, it also might not. It’s painful to have this realization. It can also make you resentful and angry. If that’s your situation, it’s better to acknowledge it and grieve for the loss rather than letting it erode your dedication to your mate. Otherwise, you could lose all you have built together.”

This is a good article stressing the need to focus on that Jesus took away the bad in your spouse. There is no need for revenge or judgement.

How to Arrange a Kids Craft Party! – weHow.com :

“Decorate T-shirts or pillowcases: Give each child a white T-shirt, or request on the party invitations that kids bring a white T-shirt that can be decorated. Cover an area of floor with thick cardboard from the sides of large boxes. Insert a thinner, smaller piece of cardboard inside each T-shirt to keep paint from running through to the back. Tape the shirt and thin cardboard down to the heavier cardboard, keeping the front surface flat. Have kids decorate their T-shirts with non-toxic fabric paints. Allow the T-shirts to dry and let guests wear the shirts home at the end of the birthday party. ”

Age 10 prob max

Shovel Writings: Devotion fading in view of Christ?:

“ I have had far more times
of awareness of Christ as being my life by NOT trying to make it
happen.  I have seen it when running to the beach to take photos of the
sunrise, or watching movies, or examining the legal system of the world
around me … even though I did not stop to pray or read the Bible
first.  I still love reading the Bible – at times, that is – and have
often found encouragement in the reading.  From time to time I have
caught myself wondering when the last time I prayed might have been,
often only to realize that I had been speaking to him already.  The
only thing that really kills my taking everything to God is when I
think I have to schedule it in order to make it happen.  You know,
scheduling things is probably not the source of the problem, rather it
is more than likely our belief in the power of scheduling, as if
scheduled life is true life.  I think he is found both in the schedule
and out of it.”

I like that this article points to the value of both positions. It is wise not to force our leadings of God. However their is also “Life” in some rituals. I believe that the confession one, which I do not agree with, has caused others to fear direction from a genuine relationship through grieving and surrender.

Togetherness: Making It Work:

“hings changed on their third anniversary. They made a commitment to each other: No matter what, they would learn how to connect and develop intimacy. They began studying the Bible and praying together, and attended every marriage conference they could find. They made spending time together a hobby; where you saw one, you’d see the other. They took up golf and skiing. For the next 20 years they would have at least one date a week.”

This is a good article. However one needs to surrender the relationship to God to allow Him to develop the closeness in His timing.

Growing in Oneness:

“Is that how Jesus became ”one“ with His disciples? No. He understood the value of spending time with them, talking, teaching, dining, and experiencing happy and challenging moments together. There were times when Jesus needed to be alone, but He understood the value of being with His followers, too. In the end, He gave His life for them and they gave theirs for Him — the ultimate testimony of oneness.”

This is a good article discussing that having someone over or being away from your spouse a lot does not build the closeness both desire but are afraid to create.

Feelings of Doubt and Uncertainty:

“Though she was certain Ted was the man God had chosen for her, Nicole missed her independence. Often she felt sad, conflicted, confused — wondering whether she’d made the wrong decision about marriage. She loved Ted and was thankful for him, realizing she couldn’t have asked for a better man. But she struggled with having to give up her ”alone time“ and sense of freedom. After praying, studying the Bible, and getting direction from Christian friends, Nicole began to see that her feelings were normal and that most people experience them.”

I went through those feelings of the loss of my singleness that needed to be grieved. The transition from independence to interdependence is difficult but necessary.

Viewing Your Spouse in a New Light:

“Desire. You viewed your husband during courtship as you wanted to see him. We tend to construct a person in our minds to match the excitement we want to feel. We mentally create that person in a way that will make us happiest.”

This is a good synopsis as the reasons that romantic love turns into the friendship stage. If grace isn’t given/received it is unlikely to mature.

How to Embrace Your Messiness – weHow.com :

“ Collecting can be fun and rewarding, financially and otherwise. So if you feel a particular object or set of objects is important or reminds you of a meaningful time or event in your life, don’t feel guilty about keeping it around. It brings you joy. So what’s wrong with that?”

The Truth About Domestic Violence:

“ A woman in a cohabiting relationship tends to see moving in with her mate as a step towards marriage, while a man tends to regard the relationship as more of a sexual opportunity without the ties of long-term commitment.9 If a woman views a live-in relationship as the developmental stage toward marriage, and a cohabiting man hangs on to his ring-free, wild weekends with his buddies, great potential exists for conflict to develop over defining relationship boundaries. Too often in cohabiting relationships, conflict escalates into violence.”

This is a good article showing how different expectations, not necessarily wrong ones can lead to controlling violence. These expectations needs to be surrrendered to the Lord so He best will emerge in His timing.

Substance Abuse:

“Other siblings negatively affected because the family is preoccupied or overwhelmed by consequences of drug user’s behavior.”

This is a good article outlining the progression which can happen if grief and our ways are not given to the Lord. An adult child may feel overwhelmed, shutdown, and not reach out for support if he/she has been neglected or worried about the parent’s emotions.

Bulletproofing Our Schools … With Faith:

“”Any sane culture is going to say we must move heaven and earth to get to our children early in life, before they are permanently and irreparably damaged,“ Gulker says. ”By abandoning public schools, you create a culture, a society, where your children and grandchildren can be sure they will not be safe.“Gulker is founder and executive director of an unprecedented mentoring program, Kids Hope USA, that beguiles public educators and church leaders alike with its simplicity. Volunteers from neighborhood churches are paired with an at-risk student and spend an hour a week with him or her at school: reading, doodling, working math problems, shooting hoops or just listening. The aim is to become the child’s friend, a dependable source of encouragement and love.What has stunned not only teachers and administrators, but Gulker himself, is the payoff from such a meager investment. Teachers consistently report significant improvements in attendance, truancy and academic achievement.”

This is an encouraging article on preventing criminal activities through the unconditional grace of time, fun, presence, and education.

God’s Will for My Life Part 2 of 3:

“Excuse the cliché of a sports analogy, but I really think this’ll be helpful. Think of your life as a football game. The first 20 years could be thought of as your warm-ups — you’re getting ready for the game. The second 20 years is the first half of play. During your 40’s you make a few halftime adjustments, so that your second half — 50 and beyond — is strong and powerful. As a male (as is the case with females too), in each stage of”

This is a good guideline. we need to be open to redirection at any time in life I find.

God’s Will for My Life Part 3 of 3:

“The key to each fulfillment of calling was a willingness to say ”yes,“ and a trust in Him who calls. Maybe people recognize your skills, and maybe they don’t. The most important thing is that God knows what you are capable of, and will equip you for the task. All you have to do is take that first step of faith. Stay open to His direction and re-direction, and He will take you on an adventure that satisfies your unique design and surpasses your wildest dreams.Blessings,JOHN THOMAS

This is a good article which encourages one to seek their own answers with confirmation from others. Rather than getting discouraged and immobilized by confusion/unhelpful advise one needs to be open to being redirected.

Who’s Calling?:

“Discernment has its own spiritual laws, and of course they have to be followed. If you want to call that a method, you can, but it’s not like what you’ve been calling methods. Those so-called methods are just gimmicks — not ways of discerning God’s will, but ways of avoiding discernment.”“

This is a good article with the exception of the deceitful heart/ sin for believers aspects. It discusses various ways to discernment.

Telling Young Children About Miscarriage:

“If you do suffer a miscarriage, I’d encourage you to be honest with the girls. Tell them that God knew this baby was very sick, and so He decided to take him to be with Him in heaven. Grieve the loss together, but if you find yourself overwhelmed by intense feelings of sadness, share those feelings with your husband and your pastor, not with your girls. A two- and four-year-old aren’t mature enough to understand or process a parent’s intense grief.

I Never Knew You, Still I Love You:

“there were others who provided deep comfort. As hard as it was to repeat the story of our loss, our friends’ responses — prayer and practical help — lightened our burden. ”We understand that this is a real loss of a real child,“ wrote one, ”and that you are grieving. It is amazing how much sadness the heart can hold for someone whom one never got to know.“ These words, written by someone who lost a child to miscarriage years earlier, were further permission to grieve … and grieve deeply.”

This is a good article on giving others permission to grieve. It is unbelievable that one can feel grief/love more for one, who is not even known, compared to knowing a grandmother, in my case, all your life.

Miscarriage:

“Emotional effects of miscarriage vary among women and often take longer to heal than their physical counterparts. It’s common to experience extreme sadness, anger, guilt and anxiety about future pregnancies. There is no ”typical“ timeframe for emotional recovery; every woman experiences the grieving process in her own way and travels the road to healing at her own pace. While it’s important to allow time and personal ”space“ for grieving, if the grief becomes too overwhelming — leading to a more serious episode of depression and despondency —”

This is a good article outlining the feelings of miscarriage. The guilt must be vented/given to God in order to receive His perspective that will fully reveal healing.

Sexual addiction – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

“According Patrick Carnes (Out of the Shadows) – the cycle begins with the ”Core Beliefs“ that sex addicts hold:

”I am basically a bad, unworthy person.“
”No one would love me as I am.“
”My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend on others.“
”Sex is my most important need.“

These beliefs drive the addiction on its progressive and destructive course:

Pain agent

First a pain agent is triggered / emotional discomfort (e.g. shame, anger, unresolved conflict) Sex addict is not able to take care of the pain agent in a healthy way.

Disassociation.

Prior to acting out sexually, the sex addict goes through a period of mental preoccupation or obsession. Sex addict begins to disassociate (moves away from his feelings). A separation begins to take place between his mind and his emotional self.

Altered state of consciousness / a trance state / bubble of euphoric fantasized experience”

Creating Intimacy and Friendship in Marriage:

“Keeping this idea in mind reinforces the essential role we play within our sacred partnership. The blessing of friendship and tenderness in marriage honors this unchanging truth: A wife’s loving companionship was designed by God to meet her husband’s number one relationship need.Evaluate your level of intimacy with your husband, then consider whether you might have been neglecting your husband’s needs for affection, comfort, and camaraderie. Ask your husband what he would like to experience with you in this area.”

This is a good article the stresses the need for undivided attention spouses need in marriage.

The Health Benefits of Prayer:

“”People who are anxious, worried and depressed do poorly when they’re sick,“ Stevens said. ”Those with hope and peace in the midst of a [health] struggle seem to do much better. People with religious commitments have that hope and peace.“ Prayer brings a definite physiological benefit, noted Dr. Bob Orr, director of clinical ethics at Fletcher Allen Health Care, the teaching hospital for the University of Vermont. ”I certainly encourage people who are believers to pray,“ Orr said. ”My observation is the person who prays is less stressed. He becomes less anxious, and his blood pressure and pulse improve.“ Stevens pointed to one study which showed the risk of diastolic hypertension was 40 percent lower”

Our cares should be cast on the Lord not left in our bodies.

Semi-Intelligent or Semi-Stupid Debt:

“A home equity loan, curiously known in the industry as HEL, is typically a second mortgage that positions itself in such a way to allow the homeowner access to the equity (that margin between what is owed and what the property is worth). Equity is the borrower’s asset—and a precious asset at that. A HEL opens a large line of credit for you, pledging your equity as the collateral. You can borrow against it whenever you want. Technically it is a secured debt because of the collateral feature. And the borrower’s safety valve remains because the home can be sold to satisfy both of the debts. But it can be very risky—and that is when it can cross over into stupid territory. There are five ways the stupid factor can sneak into an otherwise intelligent mortgage situation: 1. If you borrow against your equity to clean up your credit card debt and then run up your credit cards all over again, that leaves you with twice the debt—the equity line and the credit cards. Not smart.”

This article makes good suggestions about eliminating and preventing debt. However the judgement should have been given to the Lord. The bottom line is a second job is needed to eliminate dr.

Effective Co-Parenting, Part Two:

“Schedule a monthly (perhaps more often) ”business“ meeting to discuss co-parenting matters. You can address schedules, academic reports, behavioral training and spiritual development. Do not discuss your personal life (or your ex’s); that part of your relationship is no longer appropriate. If the conversation turns away from the children, simply redirect the topic or politely end the meeting. If you cannot talk with your ex face to face due to conflict, use e-mail or speak to the answering machine. Do what you can to make your meetings productive for the children.”

This article offers good suggestions on not capitalizing on the hurt of others/your children to berate the other parent. It is important not to disappoint by being unreliable.

Effective Co-Parenting, Part Two:

“Schedule a monthly (perhaps more often) ”business“ meeting to discuss co-parenting matters. You can address schedules, academic reports, behavioral training and spiritual development. Do not discuss your personal life (or your ex’s); that part of your relationship is no longer appropriate. If the conversation turns away from the children, simply redirect the topic or politely end the meeting. If you cannot talk with your ex face to face due to conflict, use e-mail or speak to the answering machine. Do what you can to make your meetings productive for the children.”

This article offers good suggestion on effective co-parenting.

Effective Co-Parenting, Part One:

“Unfortunately, this put her in constant turmoil, as she was forced to choose which parent she would invite to certain events. If the other wanted to come but couldn’t, Julie heard that parent’s disappointment and felt guilty. ”Why can’t they just put aside their differences and tolerate a couple of hours in the same room?“ Good question.Because Terrance’s parents always ended up fighting on the phone, he became the middleman to their visitation arrangements. His mother stopped speaking to his father and asked Terrance, at age 9, to communicate her preferences for drop-off and pickup. Terrance had no choice but to oblige, since he enjoyed spending time with his father on weekends.In both these examples, children carried undue emotional anxiety and burden because their parents could not set aside their differences and act like adults.An effective co-parent arrangement for Julie’s parents would mean she could invite both parents to her recitals and not worry whether they were fighting or anxious. An effective arrangement for Terrance’s parents would include their finding a way to talk rationally about their schedules instead of triangulating Terrance.The bottom line is a system that allows children to be children and adults to be their parents.”

This is a good article regarding the confusing feelings of children from separation/divorce. It is best to only do email contact with a difficult ex in regards to children.

Sexual Abuse:

“Hypervigilance Anxiety and fearDysfunctional relationshipsSpiritual void or disillusionmentDifficulty concentrating Performance-based self-valueIntimacy problemsTrust issues”

This is a good list where one needs to come to the end of the way they are coping to deal with it, surrender to the Lord so His loving responses/hope emerges.

Shovel Writings: Too Much Jesus?:

“So … how much Jesus is too much? What do you think? Now, it’s often said that too much grace will lead to sin, but what in the heck does that mean? Oh, we have adopted this cute little word called, licentiousness, which reminds us that too much of a good thing is bad for you … but do we really know what we’re talking about? Don’t we know that we have demanded that too much Jesus is bad? I don’t know about you, but that don’t sound right!! Yeah, yeah, we can play the word games, but the too much grace we refer to is the same that comes through Jesus.”

This is a good point. We need to understand that even though some have a fear that too much grace will lead to sin. Fear is not of God.

Shovel Writings: A Bogus Deception?:

“ sure don’t remember thinking it was ”OKAY“ to sin … how about you?  Well, if it’s not what you or I believe, then why are we wasting so much time and energy trying to convince each other that we don’t believe it?
Could this be yet another in the continuing series of deceptions we feel obligated to defend?  And if it is … what are we being side-tracked from?”

This is a good point. Do we feel we have to defend God? didn’t He already do that on His resurrection?

Shovel Writings: Counting the cost:

“His message to man was simple: you don’t have what it takes to follow Me.  This only highlights the amazing reality of God’s grace toward us in making us the righteousness of God and giving us His Spirit. It is no surprise that you now want to follow Jesus!!  ”

It is easy to die to self when you want to do it. Jesus will give the sufficiency, not ourselves.

Shovel Writings: Faith:

“Adding a phrase like ”in Christ“ cannot salvage this flawed concept; for it turns the focus on the ”dependence“ and NOT on Christ.  This is why we ask: how much?  how long?  how sincere?  how dedicated? how accurate? etc.  But faith is understood by what it is dependent UPON.
Consider a tree by a river (a very scriptural picture, by the way).  Its roots have grown deep into the fertile ground — it is dependent upon the soil.  It is the difference between a choice and a factual relationship.  The tree lives in this dependence.  We, too, have been brought into a dependent relationship, for we have been put into Christ.  The mistake is TRYING to live, instead of just LIVING; TRYING to depend, instead of being aware that we’ve been made dependent.  In doing so, we reinforce the false concept that WE created the dependence.  Believing this makes us trip all over ourselves in an attempt to be ”humble“.  Talk about diffusing the sense of the miraculous!!
BOTTOM LINE: If you are one who believes in Christ, then you have been made alive in Him — AND YOU ARE DEPENDENT UPON HIM FOR YOUR VERY LIFE.  It makes no difference if you feel it or even understand it.  The good news of Jesus Christ declares this reality to you for the purpose of bringing confidence to you so that you can live in the awareness of what is already true about you.  Trying to be what you already are will only bring confusion.”

This passage has powerful implications. We do not have to measure our holiness or try to attain it. We just recognize our identity. HUMBLENESS MEANS BEING AWARE WE ARE SIN FREE AND REMINDING OTHERS OF THIS FACT. IT IS NOT REMINDING OTHERS THEY ARE NOT BEING GODLY.

Shovel Writings: Freedom:

“this is GOOD news!  But it wouldn’t be ”good“ if Jesus hadn’t really freed us from our sins.  Or don’t you know that what He did removes you from the indictment of ”whoever sins“?  Do you believe in the One that God sent?  Well, then — don’t you know who He has made you to be?”

This is what we really need to be focusing on in sharing the Good News!

Shovel Writings: Forgiven:

“ He forgives because He DID SOMETHING about it!  He took sin out of the way by killing His Son for the offenses.  No, He wasn’t mad and, therefore, needed to have His anger appeased — that’s the closest men can figure it — He could not reconcile ANYTHING without doing away with the source of the problem, which is everything that is not consistent with Himself.
BOTTOM LINE:  A person is forgiven because there is NOTHING held against them because the offending stuff has been REMOVED!  God’s ”forgetfulness“ of our sins is not from senility, but from the fact that there is NOTHING to remember!  There is nothing to remember because of what Jesus did!  God doesn’t remember your sins against you and, therefore, does not HOLD them against you!  Are you afraid He might discover something that Jesus didn’t take care of?”

This statement makes me wonder if we are defending this Good News or offenses which He already took away. It is key to the gospel.

Shovel Writings: The New Covenant:

“What’s the first covenant?  It was a contract based upon the performance of those who were part of it.  Guess what?  It didn’t work!  It never worked.  That was the point.  And guess what else?  We are very familiar with the nature of the FIRST covenant and didn’t even know it!  It was based upon the same principles we learned as children:  do good and be rewarded, do bad and get punished!  It convinced us that the only way around our hopeless situation is to LOOK like you were doing good and not doing bad.  It works because everybody else needs the same excuse!
BOTTOM LINE:  So, here’s how the new covenant replaced the first.  After the people failed miserably in their attempts to be good, God brought about His promised miracle:  people who would from the heart operate from love.  He did this by putting an end to the lifeless, dead heart (life-source) and created a new one. ”

These are the central points that are often missed. In parenting making kids obey doesn’t work. It is important to discipline based on the law of love so kids do not just try to look good.

Your Child’s Emotions:

“Encourage your child to use words to express her feelings. These should be words used to describe what your child feels rather than words used to hurt others.”

This is an excellent point about sharing one’s experience of the feelings. However it also stresses one is not allowed to hurt others.

When Your Parents Divorce:

“ in any case forgiveness can be a challenge, I pray and ask God for strength. I ask Him to change my heart to be graceful toward others, just as He is graceful toward me. Daily as I choose to forgive and not become bitter, negative feelings flow away and peace floods my heart.”

This is an excellent article to grieve your way through parental/separation and divorce to God. It outlines that confusion as one feels love for both parents yet also feels obligated to take sides/peacemake. The only exception I have to it is the tendency to mix the old covenant of sin with the new covenant of grace. The old has been done away with in Christ. The only law that remains is love and the true gospel is peace/joy. This truly glorifies God.

When Your Kids Divorce:

“For example, what about your child moving back home? Some counselors caution parents about the implications that come with putting out either a ”Vacancy“ or ”No Vacancy“ sign. Perhaps your child should explore other options, such as moving into a smaller apartment or taking on tenants, instead of returning home. How much financial or material support can/should you offer? Consider conditions on your help, such as whether your giving should be a gift or a loan, and for how long. Other legal and financial questions must also be considered, such as your will and raising grandchildren, directly or indirectly, if the need arises.”

This article focuses on adult children of divorce. It stresses blaming, especially of childcare decisions makes reconciliation difficult.

One preacher’s message: Have hotter sex – America Unzipped – MSNBC.com :

“No inhibitionsThis literalist view cuts both ways. Beam has been attacked by some conservative Christians for his liberal take on certain subjects. Much of what he preaches contradicts the teaching of other sects, such as Roman Catholicism. But he argues that if the Bible does not forbid it, you can do it. So bring on masturbation. Try any position in the Kama Sutra (but refer to drawings, please, not pictures of real people). Wife away on business? Have phone sex. Birth control is good. Even anal sex is OK if (and Beam believes this is a big if) it does no harm to the body.”

This is a refreshing article on sex. It even has suggestion on how to make male oral play more pallitable for the women. I disagree with the law parts.

Money and Your Marriage:

“Money. It’s the one thing there never seems to be enough of and the one thing couples fight about most. She likes to shop and he likes to save. She wants to save for a rainy day and he wants to splurge on the trip of a lifetime. Each has their own definition of needs versus wants. ”

This is a good synopsis of the marital trouble regarding money. The definitions need to be surrendered to God for His priorities to be lived out in His most timely way. Both aspects seem to be the Lord’s will.

Hard Truths About Trust :

“The fact that we are made uncomfortable by the
Bible’s repeated calls to trust God is probably an
indication that we have too often been living like
practical atheists — uncritically trusting
ourselves, not acknowledging God or remembering His
past faithfulness, and failing to meditate on His
trustworthiness.

The Bible repeatedly tells us that to ultimately trust in
anything or anyone but God is a disastrous
mistake:

”He who trusts in himself is a fool“ (Prov. 28:26). The New King
James renders this verse in a way that speaks to many
in our day who are given to thinking their individual
subjective desires are always correct, ”He who trusts in
his heart is a fool.“”

Hard Truths About Trust :

“The fact that we are made uncomfortable by the
Bible’s repeated calls to trust God is probably an
indication that we have too often been living like
practical atheists — uncritically trusting
ourselves, not acknowledging God or remembering His
past faithfulness, and failing to meditate on His
trustworthiness.

The Bible repeatedly tells us that to ultimately trust in
anything or anyone but God is a disastrous
mistake:

”He who trusts in himself is a fool“ (Prov. 28:26). The New King
James renders this verse in a way that speaks to many
in our day who are given to thinking their individual
subjective desires are always correct, ”He who trusts in
his heart is a fool.“”

This is a fantastic article on underlining that the peace and joy are found only when our greatest trust is placed in Jesus. It also has some good guidance on to propose or not to become engaged. (the person has godliness, strength, and you enjoy each other’s compamny. It has some description of family of origin issues to grieve. We are not doomed to our histories, but may have to have God reshape our thinking because of them. (ROM 12:1-2) The only exception I take to this article is it points on sin. It is not the most helpful to live life looking at failures rather than trusting in the grace of God to come. However it is tragic when youth is wasted on prodigal living. It does seem ironic that in view of all that Christ has done, taking sin away, that we cannot fully trust Him. I pray He would live out the faith we are to have in Him.

Giving Your Child the Excellence Edge:

“Manage Time. How children learn to spend their time now influences how they spend their time in school and later as adults. Assess Yourself. What children believe is true about themselves is largely determined by what others think of them.”

Answer:

“t is likely that your late-maturing youngster has not yet completed a vital neurological process involving an organic substance called myelin. At birth, the nervous system of the body is not insulated. ”

This is a good argument for homeschooling until age 7. Physically they are not ready.

Answer:

“If a youngster is particularly sharp and if he or she can learn to read without feeling undue adult pressure, it would be advantageous to teach this skill. But that’s a much bigger ”if“ than most people realize. There are some parents who find it difficult to work with their children without showing frustration over immaturity and disinterest.Furthermore, new skills should be taught at the age when they are most needed. Why invest unnecessary effort trying to teach a child to read when he has not yet learned to cross the street, tie his shoes, count to 10, or answer the telephone?”

Cautions for Parents:

“ome children are very slow to catch on to reading. Some children have a specific learning disability that makes reading harder. Some children have an attention deficit disorder and have trouble concentrating. Some are just immature and have trouble settling down to learn anything. If your child has a specific problem, it%u2019s important to get help for him. But it’s also important to communicate to him that he can learn to read; it just might take him a little longer. I’ve had students say things like, ‘I’ll never read well; I’m dyslexic.’ Except in a tiny percentage of cases, that doesn’t need to be true.’Jim Trelease, author of The Read-Aloud Handbook, writes:’Expect negative consequences if teaching your child to read becomes an obsession. Experts in psychology and education emphasize the importance of unforced learning during the formative childhood years. ‘Avoid compulsion and let early education be a matter of amusement. Young children learn by games; compulsory education cannot remain in the soul’ was the advice offered by Plato to parents.”Another big mistake is stopping reading to children too soon. The older the child, the less he is read to in the home and classroom. Parents and teachers might say, in the top fourth-grade reading group why should I read to him? The reason is that a chil’s listening level is often higher than his reading level. Children can hear and understand stories that are more complicated and more interesting than anything they could read on their own.’”