Session Notes

Slate Magazine

University of California professors Gordon Dahl and Stefano DellaVigna compared what happens on those weekends. The bottom line: More violence on the screen means less violence in the streets. Probably that’s because violent criminals prefer violent movies, and as long as they’re at the movies, they’re not out causing mischief. They’d rather see Hannibal than rob you, but they’d rather rob you than sit through Wallace & Gromit.

A brief but interesting rebuttal of the idea that what people watch makes any difference in the crimes that they commit. Apparently what we have always known is still true: Contrary to the screeches of the fundamentalist right, art still imitates life — and not the other way around.

MoralArmor.com

Imagine if you could achieve perfect moral clarity, rid yourself of fear, guilt and moral hesitation, pass down traits of the greatest advantage, take total control and live a life filled with invigoration and inner calm. If that interests you, then this is the most important book you’ll ever read.

My name is Ronald E. Springer. As a child, I experienced firsthand, the nightmare of dishonest people abusing others through a dishonest moral code. I endured, grew strong and broke free, but continued to run into problems in life, caused by mass moral confusion in society. With a philosophy background, I set out to change things. Someone has to stand up and fight for us.

As a result, I’ve developed an organic moral code that will show you exactly how to move through life with complete moral certainty. It will show you how to secure better relationships, safeguard your family, reform our country’s moral drift, and send evil packing.

Funny how we humans still are so convinced we know better then God. We are so sure that if we just figure it all out, we will come up with the perfect strategy to make life work for us — that of course we can then sell to others.

Trouble with that theory is, we end up creating just another set of rules — rules that Paul made very clear will kill us (2 Cor 3:6) and rules that place us firmly under the wrath of God (Rom 4:15). We think we are finally figuring life out — but we are actually just joining up with a lie. It’s a lie that will kill us as we will never manage to live up to even our own expectations.

If the life to which Christ has called us is based upon a seeking of acceptance in Christ through our moral efforts (which of course will never work) so that our continued following Him only proves how unacceptable we are, then Christ would be nothing but a dealer or an enforcer of sin. (Which is totally absurd since Christ is the one who did away with sin.) If I rebuild another “gospel” that re-establishes a relationship with God, myself or anyone else through some form of legality, then I am the one proving myself to be a law-breaker, or sinner.

BTW: This article was originally posted on Fark under the heading of, “Every time a batshiat crazy person learns HTML, God kills a network admin.”

It’s Not Good For a Man to What-What? – TrueU.org : Men’s Hall:

” If we believe that the Bible sets the pace for our worldview, then asking it to reflect our desired beliefs will not lead us to a biblical worldview. It will simply lead us in a circle back to what we wanted to believe in the first place.”

This is a good article which helps clear some of the frustrating confusion of our beliefs. Having more questions than answers is disorienting. We doubt, when we have in mind what we feel a verse should be saying. It is so crucial we give God our presuppositions/beliefs in order for God’s truth to manifest in us. Lord, may it be so. Unfortunately a person wants his/her understanding to be correct so badly that what he wants to be true, or liked to think of as true determines truth for him/her.

Husbands and Wives: What to Do if You Suspect Your Spouse Is Viewing Pornography:

“If it appears your spouse may have viewed pornography on limited occasions in the past, pick a time the two of you can talk confidentially about the matter. You may want to wait until you have a free evening together. One idea is to plan a date. On the way to your favorite restaurant, take three or four minutes to calmly talk about what you have discovered. Then quietly wait for your mate to talk. Be careful not to raise your voice, make accusations of a worse problem, or impart shame. Over dinner or dessert, reaffirm your unconditional love for your spouse. For women, it is important not to shame your husband. Affirm your relief that his connection to pornographic Web sites has been infrequent and not a recent occurrence. Inform him that you’ve deleted the photos and links from your computer. Acknowledge that you love your husband unconditionally, respect him greatly, and realize it’s normal for men to be tempted to look at pornography.”

This article exemplifies a truth encounter with love which one can feel. It does not continue to talk about what it means to encourage a believer that one is to focus on the spiritual self as the physical (sinning one is dead).

BA: Where to Meet People :

“You might think I’d recommend the Internet. Given the high number of Christian dating sites, it’s tempting to think finding love online is a sure thing. But the explosion of technological matchmaking still falls short of real people. According to research by The Marriage Project, ‘The most likely way to find a future marriage partner is through an introduction by family, friends, or acquaintances.’ They found that, ‘despite the romantic notion that people meet and fall in love through chance or fate, the evidence suggests that social networks are important in bringing together individuals of similar interests and backgrounds, especially when it comes to selecting a marriage partner. According to a large-scale national survey of sexuality, almost 60 percent of married people were introduced by family, friends, co-workers or other acquaintances.’ That said, the most obvious place to start is church. But you say the men in your church aren’t ‘worthwhile’ or ‘husband material.’ While it’s possible there aren’t any strong candidates for marriage among those in your congregation, your description of the men makes me wonder about your expectations. What characteristics do you consider worthwhile? What makes for good husband material? It’s important to weigh your answers against the standards of Scripture. What does God consider ‘husband material?’ Traits like integrity, honesty and maturity come to mind; also willingness to leave father and mother in order to form a new family; ability to work hard and provide for a wife and children; openness to babies and willingness to sacrifice for wife and children %u2014 the very thing Christ modeled in His sacrifice for our sin. As to your church, is it an environment that encourages and celebrates marriage? If so, even a lack of single men may not be reason enough to leave it. What about the older members? They may have sons, nephews, grandsons, etc. they could introduce you to.”

This is a good article on the importance of staying on track so you don’t waste time and spare you heartache. I disagree with the marriagablity part. It is God who creates all things including marriage.

Plenty of Men to Go Around, Part 2 :

“the older have a vital role to play in helping them marry well.”

This is a good article on the importance of older women who are a rich resource with a wealth of life, wisdom, spiritual guidance, and dispassionate objectivity to encourage women. there is also an enlightening survey of where to meet men.

On Run-on Relationships – TrueU.org : Women’s Hall:

“This sort of deep-seated ambivalence isn’t good for anyone. When your best friend is in a relationship with a man who’s fundamentally ambivalent, you can tell her plainly that she deserves better and should extricate herself %u2014 but when you’re the one in the fraught relationship, it is often harder to see the costs of devoting so much emotional energy to such an uncertain situation. Pots and Pans, Birds and Bees Another danger of endless dating relationships is our tendency to play house. The longer you date someone, the more you become inclined toward a certain kind of faux domesticity. You’re not likely to buy pots and pans with a guy you’ve been dating for two months, but it can seem a perfectly reasonable thing to do if you’ve been dating for two years. This playing house can feel enjoyable, but, in fact, it is disordered. You buy something with someone when you assume you have a long-term future together. But when you’re dating, you have no way of knowing if you have a long-term future, and to make purchases as though you do is to delude yourself. (I know whereof I speak: The list of quasi-domestic purchases I made with those ex-boyfriends could fill up the rest of this column.) Your desire to make long-term investments with someone else may be a useful clue: it may tell you that you do indeed want to spend your life with this particular man. But make the commitment before you buy the accoutrements.”

This is a great article on why we stay in relationships where one is toyed with more than enjoyed.

AN UNLIKELY CAST:

“aul, the great missionary of the early church, had Christians imprisoned and killed before his salvation. There are many more examples. But all these men started doing great things for God with one simple thing: a willing heart. When God called, they answered. Some took longer than others. Some failed along the way. But when God asked, %u201CWhom shall I send?%u201D each one of them eventually raised his hand. Will you? “

This is a great encouragment of grace.

Brother, You’re Like a Six :

“We are to use Scripture as the measure of our desires. We are to take every thought, every area of our lives captive to the word of God. Thankfully, ‘attraction’ does play a role in finding a husband or wife. Read Song of Songs sometime. Biblically, however, attraction as the world understands it cannot be the foundation on which a godly marriage is built. Let’s examine two problems with the ‘attraction-as-foundation’ approach to dating and marriage %u2014 one theological, one practical %u2014″

This is a good article on qualities to look for in a mate. It is also an encouragement that God gives us pleasure to make marriage intimacy sweeter.

BA: How Important is a Parental Blessing? :

“I know three years sounds like a long time, but it’s not forever. Jacob worked seven years before marrying Rachel. The worse case scenario may be that you wait. If marriage is meant to be, it will still make sense in three years, and the rest of your life together is a long time.”

This is a good article regarding waiting for God’s timing. Jacob waited 7 years for Rachel. However the justification part about attitudes seems to be another Christianized version of living by the law.

Humility That Attracts and Encourages :

“While we women exercise trust in God by waiting to be pursued, men exercise trust in God by risking rejection. Because of that, I always encourage my brothers in Christ to sow to godly masculinity and not passivity to be more concerned with their own actions and motivations than the outcome of their pursuit.”

Interesting points except the part about self-righteiousness. One just need faith in the dating season.

Stifled:

“I don’t have anything in common with those people, Professor Theophilus.’ ‘Do you mean you’re better than they are?’ ‘No. They’re the salt of the earth. But they’re different. I really miss having friends my age to go to church with. Almost all of the people there are at other stages of life, do you know what I mean? There are little kids, older kids, married people, working people, old people, that’s okay for them. But there aren’t any college students, or hardly any, and they don’t usually come. There’s no point in trying to start a college group because it would fizzle they’re only there for the summertime, like me.’ ‘Thank you. I think I’m beginning to understand.’”

This is a good article to discern motivation for choosing a care group. Yes it is important to have contact with friends who share the same kind of experiences for understanding. However it is also important to be interested in others who offer a different perspective as they are past the stage or just entering the one you are in presently. This is exciting because we can share kindness for love alone, expecting nothing in return.

Family.org %u2014 Focus Over Fifty %u2014 Coping When Your Spouse is Unemployed:

“Remind yourself and your spouse to take this one day at a time. Help your husband avoid catastrophic thinking (I’ll never find work!). Be positive in your attitudes and pray together every day for God’s provision %u2014 for your physical, emotional and material needs, and for your relationship. And keep talking! Deliberate communication mitigates the effects of depression and helps boost bruised self-esteem. Accept that you’ll have good days and bad days. On the good days, discuss what makes them good and brainstorm ways to keep up positive energy (going to bed at a reasonable hour, rising together, morning exercise, prayer time, etc.). Maintain a routine as much as possible. Be mutually accountable, setting a daily agenda for both of you: job interviews, personal appointments, chores around the house, etc. Unemployment can make people want to withdraw, but avoid becoming socially isolated. Continue to attend church and keep up social commitments during the week. Share what you’re going through with friends. You need support now more than ever, and contrary to what you might think, friends will be honored by your desire to confide in them. Plan activities together that will help you let off steam. Many big-city zoos and museums have occasional,free days. Get outside in the fresh air, take a bike ride, have a picnic. Plan time where you agree to put aside job worries and focus only on having fun.”

From the Heart:

” I feel spiritually dead when I don’t take the time to get in the Word or write in my prayer journal. I have a responsibility to be a mouthpiece for God when doing shows, so I know I need to be as spiritually stable as I can be. When Krystal is on the road, it’s easy to make up excuses for not spending time in the Word, but when she hasn’t taken that time, she says her shows are terrible. Without starting my day by asking God, How do You want to use me today? I walk around in a zombie-state, she says. I don’t want to play my guitar. I don’t have the drive to get up and practice, sound check or do my vocal warm ups. I feel like a vegetable. Describing herself as stubborn, Krystal says getting that motivation back sometimes requires God knocking on her heart, saying, I miss talking with you.”

After reading this point, I realized I felt this way the majority of my school and teen years. I also needed someone to encourage and challenge me in the faith.

How to Discourage Thumb Sucking – eHow.com :

“Children who suck their thumbs after around age 6 may become the target of teasing and criticism; they may also end up with dental and speech problems. Steps Wait for the problem to go away. Most children, but not all, outgrow the habit by the time their permanent teeth come in (about age 6). After this age, thumb sucking can cause dental and speech problems, but before then, many children still have a fairly strong impulse and need to suck. Start to work on kicking the habit a little while before you expect your child’s permanent teeth to come in. That way you can deal with it before it becomes a real problem. Try to keep your child talking, which will make it hard for her to keep her thumb in her mouth. Offer her activities to keep her hands busy: crayons or pencils and paper, squishy balls or toys to fiddle with, or models and puzzles to work on. Consider working out a reward or praise system, using stickers and a chart or calendar.”

Does God’s Nature Affect Our Fights? :

“The church reflects God, then, when it upholds unity in a body filled with diversity. The Triune God balances unity and diversity in perfection, and the nature of the Godhead changes how we understand the makeup of the church. God is never separated; in a way we cannot explain, He is perfect unity. Three distinct Persons who are one. And when God redeems a people for Himself, He makes them like Himself, bringing together diversity and unity. Granted, we are not God, and therefore we will never attain perfect unity in our fallen state. But as Christians who have the Spirit, we can pursue unity that reflects our Creator and Redeemer. “

I love the picture of a symphony that blends the diversity of tones and pitches to create one unified sound. This article is encouraging for marital and church conflict.

The Awesomeness of Humility – TrueU.org : Student Lounge:

“biblical basis for why we should be humble. He points out verses which show that God ‘opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’ (James 4:6, NIV). God ‘guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way’ (Psalm 25:9). Scripture makes it clear that God wants us to be humble. Del then goes on to point out the humility seen in Jesus. In Matthew 11:29, Jesus states that He is ‘gentle and humble in heart.’ It also obviously took a lot of humility for Christ to die on the cross. In fact, Philippians 2:5-8 says:”

This is a really good article for married couples hurt by one another. We are to reconcile despite the hurt as long as it is physically safe/ show love/pursural in our hearts again. We do not wait until they change. Christ sacrificed for us while we were still sinners. Our love is to be long-suffering with the hope that one day we will benefit.

One Night With the King:

“One Night With the King, this onscreen story closely parallels the biblical account, but it doesn’t follow along word for word in the way that, say, the film The Gospel of John does. Esther 2:17 states, ‘Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other virgins.’ But nothing is said of Esther’s feelings for the king, “

CitizenLink – Top Stories – Christian Films are Finding a Welcome in Hollywood:

“Most people look at a film like The Gospel of John and say, ‘It wasn’t a big release,’ ‘ Baehr said. ‘But they only released it in a handful of theaters, and its per-theater gross was so big that Garth Drabinsky, who produced it, was being courted by the major studios to figure out how they could do the same thing.’ Another film, Luther, was No. 1 in Germany and Italy %u2014 and did very well per-theater and in DVD sales, but was not released widely enough in theaters, Baehr said.”

The New Age Worldview: Is it Believable? – TrueU.org : Lecture Hall:

“The new spirituality cannot deliver on its promises. It cannot be harmonized with the reality of Jesus Christ, and it is flatly illogical to boot. Besides, this spirituality is not new at all, but ancient. It is all traced back to the original lie of the serpent in the garden, who promised a better life by disobeying God and making oneself the center of reality (Genesis 3:6-7). But the way out of that perennial snare is to follow Christ on the narrow path that leads to life eternal (Matthew 7:13-14; John 10:10).”

This is an incredibly stimulating article about the dangers of creating your own reality. It uproots us from any stable sense of objectivity. It creates madness/lunacy that takes one’s thoughts to be all there is to consider. If an idea is terrible it is evil. Evil does exist. This worldview cannot be harmonized with the reality of Christ. It is illogical. We are just to follow Christ. It can be confusing because we are also to walk His Spirit which can be counterfeited. However before the curse the enemy used this same tactic and still continues to this day.

Ask Theophilus: Farewells :

” In that case you would not yet be capable of the gift of Self. It wouldn’t be your love but your inability to love that hindered the girl from her true good. My advice to you in that case would be to try, with the grace of God, to become the sort of person who is capable of love. Another possibility is that you really do love the girl, but she doesn’t love you in return. I mean, of course, that she doesn’t love you that way. Whatever joy she experiences in romantic love will be with someone else. In that case, yes, you should back off. You may be tempted to be a pest; don’t give in, because that wouldn’t be loving at all. You may be tempted to pine away; don’t give in to that temptation either, because it is more about self-pity than about love, more about you than about her. If you love a girl who will never love you in return, seek God’s grace to sublimate your erotic love for her into the spiritual love of charity. Be grateful to God that you knew her, but be willing to fall in erotic love with someone else.”

This is a great article on avoiding self-blame. Your love being returned fills you with awe. I disagree with the judgement in places. It is just that another person could be on a different timetable. Be generous in spirit.

Husbands and Wives: Why Isn’t Marriage the Way I Thought It Would Be?:

“Tom’s expectations about marriage weren’t being met. Through reading and counseling he finally recognized that those expectations were an effort to cope with a painful childhood. Growing up, he’d often been under his mother’s controlling thumb. He’d brought into marriage a vow that he’d never get close enough to his wife to let her control him as Mom had. As a result, he’d never gotten close enough to truly connect with Jill. Tom had to work through his hurts before he could begin to relate to Jill in a more meaningful way. The two of them met periodically over coffee with a seasoned couple in their church, learning what they might expect in each new stage of marriage. They still have struggles. But Tom is learning more about God’s expectations for their marriage. Unless he depends on God for the ability to love Jill, he doesn’t have a prayer to make it happen. He’s also learning that by staying true to his marriage, he’s growing in ways he never thought possible.”

This is a good explanation of the importance of grieving through family of origin issues and surrendering vows. I disagree that we grow. It is God’s work of loving others through us that produces the so called growth.

Children and Backpacks: Children and Backpacks:

“Weigh in. Perch your child’s loaded bag on the bathroom scale. Does the bag weigh more than 10 percent of her body weight? Decide together what could be left home or in a school locker.”

SFGATE.COM

“The preponderance of research clearly shows that homework for elementary students does not make a difference in student achievement. It is hard to believe that a strategy used so extensively has no foundation,” principal David Ackerman of Oak Knoll Elementary in Menlo Park wrote in a letter to parents this autumn as he put the brakes on homework.

Two new books read like manifestos against what authors consider an avalanche of unproductive take-home assignments. Their titles lay their beliefs on the line: the research critique “The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing” by Alfie Kohn, and the more anecdotal “The Case Against Homework: How Homework is Hurting Our Children and What We Can Do About It” by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish.

At the same time, an international comparison by two Penn State professors has concluded that junior high students who scored highest in math tended to come from countries where teachers assign relatively little homework — including Denmark, the Czech Republic and (take note) Japan. Conversely, the lowest-scoring students came from countries where teachers assign tons of homework, such as Iran, Thailand and Greece.

“It almost seems as though the more homework a nation’s teachers assign, the worse the nation’s students do,” concluded researchers Gerald LeTendre and David Baker, who found Americans in the mid-range in the amount of homework assigned and in achievement.

Someone finally had to say it.

With 6 hours of classtime per day for 180 days per year for 12 years, we cannot teach our children what they need to know? We need higher expectations for our teachers — not more busy work for our students.

Perhaps canceling classes on what and who to have sex with may be a start at freeing up time for learning things that actually matter — like skateboarding and building tree forts?

The Suicide of Thought – TrueU.org : Lecture Hall:

“the merely mystical and almost irrational virtue of charity. He has a strange idea that he will make it easier to forgive sins by saying that there are no sins to forgive.”

It is an interesting perspective. However I disagree with this piece on humility.

Take Charge of Your Children’s Education: “But I’m Not a Teacher!”:

“Many parents feel inadequate when they consider their God-given responsibility to instruct their children. Yet educators say that nothing they teach has nearly the effect on children that a parent’s teaching has.”