Session Notes

Typology of Clergy Who Engage in Sexual Misconduct

• PSYCHOTIC & SEVERE BORDERLINES
  Impulsivity due to poor controls; sexual contact due to bizarre belief systems or theories; poor social judgment concerning actions and words; may have variety of sexual targets. Some related cases are:
  • MANIC STATE (especially when previously diagnosed; stopped taking medications)
  • ACUTE PSYCHOSIS SECONDARY TO DRUG REACTION (e.g. steroids)
  • ORGANIC/NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEM (e.g. tumor)
    
• SOCIOPATHS & SEVERE NARCISSISTIC CHARACTER DISORDERS
  Self-centered, gratification-oriented; sexual acting out varies considerably; good at manipulating & getting out of trouble; no concern for harm to others
  
• IMPULSE CONTROL DISORDERS
  Longstanding, ingrained impulsiveness, with or without substance abuse or addictions; sexual issues may be primary or secondary
  • SEXUAL IMPULSE CONTROL DISORDER
    Full range of diagnostic categories including pedophilia; sexual or aggressive needs being met by actions
  • GENERAL IMPULSE CONTROL DISORDER
    When sex is not the major area of acting out, but one area of abuse (e.g. Character Disorder)
    
• SEVERELY NEUROTIC AND/OR SOCIALLY ISOLATED
  Typically overly involved with clients & parishioners emotionally; sexual contact develops secondary to emotional involvement; however, this can become a repetitive pattern
  
• MILDLY NEUROTIC & SITUATIONAL BREAKDOWN IN OTHERWISE HEALTHY PERSON
  Having ruled out more serious pathologies and deficits, in these situations with a single victim and remorseful offender, the situational factors and timing appear to have played a major role — Rev. Marie Fortune calls these people "wanderers"
  
• UNINFORMED/NAIVE
  Having ruled out pathology and deficits, a lack of training and good organizational structure and supports appear to be the basis for boundaries crossings which set the stage for the involvement; this must be a non-predator, and the explanations cannot be rationalizations, excuses, or justifications; there should be remorse; sometimes person has a distorted view of the professional helping relationship or pastoral role and does not distinguish it from friendship

This is an exceptionally well thought out list of the underlying mental and emotional issues present in those who abuse. While targeted at ministers engaged in sexual misconduct (Admittedly an overwhelmingly large and growing subset) it would be a waste to limit it to this specific behavior or specific group.

The problem of abuse is present wherever there is the presence of power. Wherever a person is granted tacit authority over a person’s life (By virtue of age, God, science or whatever), there exists the possibility of abuse. When the person/position granted that power tends to operate without any meaningful societal constraints on his or her behavior, then that position or role will tend to attract those who desire to operate in darkness. It will attract the above personality types.

The functioning of the early Church demanded accountability. The difference is, they demanded it on a far deeper level:

Gal. 2:11 ¶ But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.
Gal. 2:12 For prior to the coming of certain men from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles; but when they came, he began to withdraw and hold himself aloof, fearing the party of the circumcision.
Gal. 2:13 And the rest of the Jews joined him in hypocrisy, with the result that even Barnabas was carried away by their hypocrisy.
Gal. 2:14 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in the presence of all, “If you, being a Jew, live like the Gentiles and not like the Jews, how is it that you compel the Gentiles to live like Jews?
Gal. 2:15 “We are Jews by nature, and not sinners from among the Gentiles;
Gal. 2:16 nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we may be justified by faith in Christ, and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law shall no flesh be justified.
Gal. 2:17 “But if, while seeking to be justified in Christ, we ourselves have also been found sinners, is Christ then a minister of sin? May it never be!
Gal. 2:18 “For if I rebuild what I have once destroyed, I prove myself to be a transgressor.
Gal. 2:19 “For through the Law I died to the Law, that I might live to God.
Gal. 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me.
Gal. 2:21 “I do not nullify the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly.”
Gal. 3:1 ¶ You foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified?
Gal. 3:2 This is the only thing I want to find out from you: did you receive the Spirit by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith?
Gal. 3:3 Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? Gal. 3:4 Did you suffer so many things in vain — if indeed it was in vain?

They didn’t demand accountability at the level of naughty behaviors — they demanded it at the level of surrender to the intimate Grace and Freedom of the Gospel. They demanded that at least her leaders if not also her members stand in a relationship of profound intimacy with God and in isolation from a set of rules that would put them back under the system of judgment that previously condemned them.

While, on the surface, this demand would appear to actually create the exact behaviors that were problematic through giving license, it doesn’t. When a person is captivated by an intimate life of, To quote E. Peterson’s Message translation, a life of, “What’s next Papa,” (Romans Chapter Eight) their life, by very definition, can not be dominated by shame and fear. Shame and fear are the core of most of the non-chemical personality issues and the deepest core of the last two (The ones they don’t seem to be able to figure out).

The irony is, most of our social groupings (Evangelical and otherwise) today have it precisely backwards: We tend to look at the crimes of lust and gossip in a person’s life and condemn them (Or at least call them to account) for such. We then look at the ways they are attempting to control others, inflicting the same shame and fear that drives their own hearts on them and/or demonstrating the personal conformity to the rule of law Paul took Peter to task over and we regard it as a little slip up in an otherwise righteous life. We define it as righteous because it does not exhibit the lust (or whatever) crime we feel is so bad.

Then we wonder why the world wide Church will probably pay out well over a Billion (Yes, you read me correctly) dollars by the end of this decade in compensation for sexual abuse alone, we wring our hands and we lament over why it was never stopped. The answer is simple — we forgot about what really matters.

But, that’s hardly the real tragedy — the real one is that spiritual abuse and other missuses of power often leave much larger bullet holes in a person’s heart then a clearly definable violation like sexual abuse. And, they are so much more common.

John Fischer – Chapter 33

Fear of Dancing

The Spirit of God dances. He can’t be tamed. He won’t be contained. He refuses to be confined to a weekend retreat, an evening meeting, or even a moment of devotion. He doesn’t follow schedules, programs, or agendas, and He doesn’t wait for His name to be called.

The Spirit of God dances. He dances right under the noses of those who don’t believe in dancing; and He dances right on by those who do. He dances through the assemblies of the keepers of the dance, and right on out the door — and no one sees Him go.

And as the dancers continue the empty steps of their pantomime, the Spirit of God dances on out into the streets. He dances by the harlots in the red-light districts, by the victims of AIDS in lonely homes, by bag ladies in the inner cities, and by struggling farm families across the plains. He finds the orphans and widows and dances through the lonely pain of their lives. He dances through the camps of hungry children, through the crowded streets of the oppressed, and past the wire where the South African woman is hanging out ragged laundry as well as by the scrubbed white faces sitting in church in the nearby city.

Sometimes the dance turns to mourning, but always there’s the dance. Happy dance or sad dance….the Spirit of God always dances.

His favorite dancing places are those where the keepers of the dance don’t want Him to go: on MTV, on drive-in movie screens, or on smoky stages with microphones that smell of whiskey. The Spirit of God loves sinners and dances best where life spills out on the floor.

Occasionally He dances on the clean, sweet-smelling stages of the keepers of the dance — but not as often as He would like. He dances there when the keepers need Him: when there is pain, whenever life spills out on the floor. But usually the floor is clean and the dance is simulated, carefully choreographed by the keepers of the dance to use only those steps with which they feel secure.

The Spirit of God refuses to be choreographed. His dance is raw, new, and jerky. It’s not always pleasing to the eye, but His dance is fresh in the lives of human beings whose floors have not been cleaned up. It isn’t well-rehearsed, polished, or perfect; it slips and slides, sometimes innovative and shocking and at other times just exhilarant, but it’s always real.

Most people, even those who pride themselves in their dancing, are afraid of this spontaneous dance. They’re afraid of anything they can’t control; and His dance is wild, unmanageable, even mad. But most important, it’s vulnerable, open to criticism — the quality they fear most. So they must create their own dance of predictable steps and prescribed routines and send all their people through dance school — or outlaw dance altogether.

But this should come as no surprise. It has always been this way. The Lord of the Dance himself was here once, and it was the same way then. He danced on the keepers’ holy days and broke their holy laws. His timing — if not His whole dance — always seemed offbeat. He turned the tables on their dance in the Temple as He led a solemn dance of respect through their lighthearted nonchalance. He rode along Palm Drive atop a donkey at the head of the greatest hosanna dance ever.

He wanted to turn their empty religious movements into heartfelt, joyous dancing. He wanted them to exchange the grip of the Law for the freedom of the dance. But they thought He was a clumsy dancer, always bumping into their traditions and stepping on their pious toes. He even danced with the wrong crowd, in smoke-filled rooms and on messy floors.

Once He described His generation and declared, “We played the flute for you, but you would not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn. For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ ”

No, nothing’s really changed . . . but the Spirit of God dances on.

This has to be one of my favorite quotes of all time — especially these two lines:

He dances through the assemblies of the keepers of the dance, and right on out the door — and no one sees Him go. And as the dancers continue the empty steps of their pantomime, the Spirit of God dances on out into the streets.

He wanted to turn their empty religious movements into heartfelt, joyous dancing. He wanted them to exchange the grip of the Law for the freedom of the dance. But they thought He was a clumsy dancer, always bumping into their traditions and stepping on their pious toes. He even danced with the wrong crowd, in smoke-filled rooms and on messy floors.

Chris Sligh – Empty Me – Lyrics

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

Imagine you and your husband/wife gave birth to a little girl and you loved her dearly. You held her, cuddled her, you taught her to walk, you repeated things over and over to her so she could talk and you even spent endless hours feeding her obvious desire to draw and paint such that she became a rather accomplished artist.

But then, that fateful day came when your little girl, with face downcast, walked up to you and said:

“Mommy/Daddy, I suck. I’m really an awful person. I think I’m totally filled up with evil, disgusting and terrible qualities and there’s not a thing good in anything I have ever painted. Mommy/Daddy, could you please erase me and make me like you?”

Would your heart break? Would you move heaven and earth to find psychological help for her? Would you tell her in no uncertain terms that you thought she was fantastic, wonderful and totally amazing and that you loved her just as she is? Would you want to strangle whoever it was that planted that thought in her brain?

So then, exactly what is it that makes us imagine that the God who created us exactly as He wanted each of us to be, loved us enough to die for us and moved the gates of hell to give us a new, pure and washed heart would see us singing our Evangelical self-centered-contempt in the form of, “Worship,” songs in any other way?

Mail Online

‘One of the saddest moments when I was thinking about my marriage was when I realized that sex with Brad was the only thing we shared that was unique to us.

‘It was what made us more than roommates, and yet I was denying our marriage that aspect.’

But did it change their marriage for the better?

‘It changed completely,’ says Charla. ‘We started being more attentive to each other, not just in bed, but about the trivial little things. Brad would offer to do some chore or run an errand, and I wouldn’t be thinking he was doing it to gain sex points.

‘We became so much closer. You can’t have that sort of regular intimacy in bed without it spilling over into the rest of life.

‘There was a lot less narking and sniping. You just can’t do that all day then want to get into bed with the person at night.

‘My self-confidence was greatly improved, too.

Ten years ago, saying this earned me the ire of several church leaders and one green-paper-with-pink-ink piece of beautifully scented (and unsigned) hate mail from a feminist type who figured I was a male pig. Now it’s making the news in our post-feminist culture as though it’s a novel idea just invented — speaking in suddenly awed tones about figuring out that daily sex could be good for all.

Our society is finally waking up — finally figuring out that our barter system for sex in marriage is an insult to both partners and an inversion of how we were designed to function. (Sex was designed to be the platform on which all other areas of intimacy are integrated. It is a servant to all the rest of the areas of intimacy rather then the pinnacle of all intimacy to be used as a reward for good performance in the other areas.)

Books are being written. People are rediscovering thousands of year old East Indian and Asian texts where daily sex is reported to be the best idea for a marriage. People are doing anything but acknowledge how short a time ago it was that we forgot this truth:

1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. (5a) Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer (and fasting.)

But hey, it’s just Paul — what did he know anyway???

The Messenger (EMC)

Direct link: (Please see page #3)

The Messenger Mag

Not what we wear?

If a person were invited to Buckingham Palace to see the queen, would they wear blue jeans? I wonder if they’d even let them in. Even the non-believer dresses up for a social event, but us, we come as we are. God judges what’s in the heart, not what’s in the mind or on the body [letters, May 1]. True, but I put on my very best on Sunday morning because I am going to the House of God to worship the King. I wonder sometimes how the outside world sees us Christians as we do church. We have swung away from legalism so far that now we are “hanging loose” as we would have said it in my day, but now I think the word is “cool.” Cool, is that what we are!

Fine, guys, grow your hair, but please wash and comb them. Simon on American Idol told Carly Smithson to dress like a performer. The secular world is telling each other, while millions of people are watching, that it’s not cool to let it all hang out. Maybe our pastors (men of God) should tell us how we should dress when we come to worship the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, but then again I have also seen them deliver a message wearing their work clothes (jeans). In my time no one other than authorized persons were allowed behind the pulpit, which was a sacred place.

Maybe they carried it too far at that time, true, but now it has become a gymnasium where toddlers chase each other around after the service while mothers watch and hope they won’t hurt themselves. Maybe if we sat while we sang and stood during the sermon we might get the message. Okay, I am sorry; maybe that is a bit hard. But let’s at least keep the volume button at the same level during the sermon as it was during the band.

By the way, I just cannot visualize Jesus in blue jeans. Sorry.

Walter Hamm
Riverton, Man.”

Dear Walter,

I’m so glad you care about fashion in church. I cared about fashion too. More specifically, I was really concerned with those who’s outer fashions were like a cup washed only on the outside but who’s hearts were set on image and filled with judgment and self-righteousness.

Most of the fashions I liked the best I found outside of the Temple:

I found them on the woman caught in adultery when she was thrown at my feet almost naked. I’ve never seen a woman more beautifully clothed in a heart that truly was mine.

I found them on the prostitute I met at the well who had to come out there at high noon to avoid the scorn of religious people. Her heart fashions were so beautiful she brought half of the town to me.

I found them on the alcoholics I knew — in fact, I liked them so much I hung out with them. The religious leaders soon took to calling Me a drunkard because of the company I kept.

I’m in full agreement with you Walter — I too hate the fashions I find all across Evangelical Christianity today. They are fashions of legalism and control. Fashions of the abuse of power and the suppression of human hearts in My name. They are the fashions of people who no longer believe that I can actually change the human heart all by Myself and have, like the Pharisees, taken it upon themselves to do My job.

In fact, I hate their fashions so much, I’ve already left the building and it’s unlikely I’ll be coming back.

Walter, could you do me a favor? Please tell the last one out the door to make sure the lights are turned out.

Love
Jesus

P.S. I haven’t left the city though. Right now, I’m hanging out with a pot-head and a sex addict down at the skate park if you’d like to drop by. You may have trouble recognizing me though — I’m getting to like wearing baggy pants…

Houston Community Newspapers

Riggle last week disclosed a plan to erect 150-foot crosses at the south and north entrances to the city. The crosses would be on the Grace South Campus and the North Campus properties.

Riggle doesn’t mince words when he says that the country is headed in the wrong direction politically and spiritually. The only way out, he adds, is what he believes the Founding Fathers always intended the United States to be – a Christian nation. He says the project is a start in the right direction.

Multiple choice pop quiz for the Evangelical Right:

Q: What do you think would do more to show your city the love of Christ and bring people to Jesus?

(1). Take several million dollars and feed the poor, house the homeless, heal the sick, counsel the abused and mend the broken — you know, kinda like Jesus did.

(2). Take several million dollars and build two cross shaped prayer towers so high they require FAA approval such that America can climb up them to pray that God would stop the moral decline of a greedy and vain country.

Answer key: If you picked #1, you obviously haven’t lived here for the last twenty years…