Session Notes

Steve McVey: March 2008:

” all our sins have been paid for (see Colossians 2:13-14); why would the Holy Spirit call our attention to them now? Hebrews 10:1-2 says that when we know we are cleansed, we lose consciousness of sins. Make no mistake about it. Your sins have been put away. What the Holy Spirit does when we now sin is to convict/convince us of who we really are. He shows us that we are able to live like the righteous child of God He has made us to be. He motivates us to live like that and, in the process, we will abandon the sin that caused us to stumble in the first place.”

This is an clear explanation of the reason we do not call attention to sin. We let Jesus tell us who we are really are now with Him inside us and the truth.

GV Jan 2008:

“Control freaks – that’s what we all are when we try to be in charge of our own lives. God never intended for us to be in control. Controlling things is His role, not ours. ‘My life is out of control!’ people have tearfully said to me at times in the counseling office. What they really meant was ‘My life is out of my control and I don’t like it!’             Imagine a baby holding a pair of new shoes in his hands. He is playing with them and happy they belong to him. His parent reaches down to take the shoes and put them on the child’s feet. All the child sees is that his shoes are being taken out of his hands. He doesn’t like it. He wants to control them and keep them in his hands, but he will never walk in them that way.             The parent takes the shoes from the hand of the child and the baby begins to cry. He is overwhelmed with anger, confusion and regret that his shoes are being taken from him. He screams. He kicks in protest. He is losing control of the thing he loves and wants to hold. He doesn’t understand what his parent is doing. But the parent understands and does what is necessary to enable the child to walk – whether the child likes it or even understands.             The goal is to enable the child to enjoy the shoes to the fullest by walking in them. The parent knows that if the shoes are used for their designed purpose, the child will truly benefit and not simply be amused by them.             Only a baby thinks the highest pleasure is to hold them in his hands. He doesn’t see the whole picture. So the parent overrules the baby’s wishes and does what is needful. Eventually the child will understand. When he does, he is thrilled, and more important than that, he walks. Do you want to walk? What are you holding onto that you need to release? Let it go. God knows what He is doing.”

This is an excellent article for parenting and dealing with the crisies of life. I pray for this rest and openness to genuinely let go of our way after working through the emotions individually/together with others.

HURRICANE KATRINA, MEANS OF JUDGMENT OR OPPORTUNITY FOR HOPE:

“d not the death of Christ deal with the root cause of sinful behavior:  sinful hearts?  For me, a pat answer of God’s judgment merely raises many many more questions. We are tempted to be deceived into believing that grace is too light on sin.  However, my heart yearns to testify that it is true grace alone that exposes sin for the subtle dead lie that it is.  Apart from grace, sin is limited to negative-looking behaviors.  Apart from grace, we are tempted to see the need for more of God’s judgment, in addition to the cross.”

This is an excellent article on allowing God’s trust in us because of the 100% sufficiency of Christ as our life. May the Lord replace our fears with the revealing of His security/courage/peace/Finished Work.

Attack ad targets hot dogs as cancer risk:

“Their report last November said eating 50 grams a day of processed meats for several years increases colorectal cancer risk by 21 per cent. That equals about one hot dog a day or two deli slices of bologna or five slices of bacon. The duration of daily consumption linked with that higher risk is uncertain. Colorectal cancer was diagnosed between three and 19 years after the studies began, but participants could have been eating processed meats for years before that, said dietitian Karen Collins, nutrition adviser with the American Institute for Cancer Research, a group that analyzed the studies. For a U.S. adult, eating one hot dog daily for several years would increase the average risk of getting colorectal cancer, which is 5.8 per cent, to 7 per cent”

a good clear article

Tonsillitis: Signs and symptoms - MayoClinic.com

Signs and symptoms
Signs and symptoms of tonsillitis include:

Red, swollen tonsils
White patches on the tonsils
Sore throat
Difficult or painful swallowing
Headache
Fever and chills
Enlarged, tender glands (lymph nodes) in the jaw and neck
Loss of voice (laryngitis)
Abdominal pain in children

Q&A: Legalism has caused me to lose my closeness with God.:

“When you read Paul’s letters, for example, make sure you notice how he always establishes the reality of who the believers really are. In Ephesians 5, Paul is addressing the believers as ”beloved children“ (v1), ”saints“ (v3), NOT ”sons of disobedience“ (v6&7), ”formerly darkness, but NOW you are light in the Lord“ (v8). His admonition was for the believers to live like the believers they were.”

This is an excellent article encouraging others not to feel legalism has forever stripped them of their feeling of the closeness of God. It reminds us to not put it on our children as it may lessen their natural love for the Lord.

calgary.ctv.ca - Calgary news from CTV:

“Even though they focus on children under six, the doctors also say there’s no evidence to show over the counter cold medicines work for any child under twelve.

Doctors suggest parents give their kids acetaminophen or ibuprofen for fever and aches.

For more information visit the New England Journal of Medicine’s web site.”

TheStar.com | Ontario | Chemical hurts children, demonstrators say :

“Smith was referring to a chemical that is used in hard plastic baby bottles, sippy cups and the lining of some food cans. Bisphenol A is known to leach into food. More than 130 peer-reviewed studies have associated bisphenol A with a variety of health problems, including breast cancer, obesity, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and a wide range of other developmental problems, according to Aaron Freeman, the policy director of Environmental Defence.”

Calgary’s Child - The Bully in All of Us:

“”My, you are very influential. How about doing that again and finding a way to include everyone?“”It seems the other children follow your direction, will you make sure they each get a turn?“”I see that being first in line is very important to you. As the leader, will you show the rest of the line how to wait patiently and quietly for the teacher?“”You are a real expert at this game! Will you show the other children how to play too?“”

This is an excellent article that takes punishment out of the equation. If offers excellent ideas on turning the negative into a positive. Since Jesus took away sin wouldn’t this be the best way to bless the identity of Jesus in a child?

Calgary’s Child - The EIGHT SECRETS To Family Happiness:

“One of the most important keys to family happiness is maintaining a positive attitude and helping encourage positive attitudes among the children and your spouse. Negativity breeds negativity. Whether you begin exercising or spend a half hour each day meditating (which ever way you prefer to ‘meditate’), finding a way to reduce the amount of stress you bring into a household is essential. ”

This is an good article on focusing on the positive and relaxing to minimize conflicts. We can choose to see our child as demanding or determined. The positive reframe and seeing them in the Finished Work of Jesus, may encourage a positive identity in Christ.

Music - Creative Kids:

“Freely dance a celtic jig, a lively polka, or a steamy salsa while developing rhythm, coordination, and beat. Let your child refine what they already do naturally, and come and have fun”

No right or wrong. It is just letting a kid’s imagination develop so they are not black and white thinkers.

No need for panic, doctors say after Toronto child contracts drug-resistant ailment:

“Yaffe said the child had been otherwise healthy before coming down with the bug and had received all the recommended vaccinations, according to hospital officials. The child had not travelled outside of Ontario before becoming ill more than two weeks ago.”

This is an interesting article because this bacteria was a new strain that could not be vaccinated against. I pray all are protected.

calgary.ctv.ca - Calgary news from CTV:

“Even though most Albertans have been vaccinated when they’re young doctors are learning one dose may not be enough.

Most Canadians born after 1990 did receive two doses of the vaccine, one as an infant and another a few years later and they shouldn’t be affected by the outbreak.

In the second phase of the initiative, all Albertans aged 17 to 26 years who may be at risk of the disease will be targeted for a mumps vaccination.
/
Mumps is generally a mild viral illness that results in fever, swelling and tenderness of one or more salivary glands, located at the angle of the jaw.

But officials say some people can be infected but show no symptoms and thereby unknowingly infect others.

Complications of mumps can include inflammation of the testes or ovaries, meningitis and more serious infections of the brain.”

Even though I have given the fear/confusion that my girls could get meningitis, He seemed to say it will be allright whatever we decide for boosters. I have peace at this point rather than terror when we vaccinated before. I pray so for all He lives out His faith/protection for us to trust Him in our choices.

I just got this one today. It’s a classic example of the new marketing systems now being employed via the web…

We may as well just admit it. The preceding has been a paid advertisement for Britax Regent and is a chief marketing system for the following site…

And, it includes just a few inconsistencies…

The CDC reports that the average age for an 80lb child is between 10 and 12 yrs of age. Apparently, they plan to keep some children in a car seat until they are teens? How to transform your child into a permanent social outcast in his or her Jr. High in one easy lesson…

The stats on seat belt failure date from cars manufactured on cars before the 70’s and even lawyers will admit it. (Getting truth out of them should be cause for national celebration…)

The accident type is a roll over — yet the video demonstrates an accident type mostly caused by seat belt misuse (and unrelated to the video subject) as proof of the danger.

The other booster seat worked — the death was caused by a rare seat belt failure — so buy a new car seat???

Video claims it is recommended — by who? Definitely not the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration or the US government…

Finally, there have been aggressive attempts for years to mandate 5pt harness systems in all vehicles. The Federal governments of both the US and Canada have refused them. Reason? They are a pain in the butt, no one will wear them. Seat belts that are worn are worth a lot more then the small increase in safety offered by the 5pt systems no one will bother with wearing.

In years gone by, you had to have accurate ads or someone would sue. In an age of user generated content, who is there to sue?

Classic FUD — Fear, Uncertainty and Despair. It’s the marketing currency of our brave new world — and there is no watch-dog…

Q&A: True discipline:

“The reality of our total acceptance is the basis for true discipline, for our Father is faithful in maturing us.  He works in us FROM the image of his son TOWARD the image of his son.  In other words, beginning and ending in the reality of Christ in us.  He is teaching us who it is we really are, and He uses whatever means He desires to cause us to see this. ”

This is an excellent encouraging short article that says discipline is constant care. I pray parents/schools would understand for believing children God is in them.

Cervical Cancer - Cancer - Body & Health:

“It’s been shown repeatedly that women who are young when they lose their virginity and women who have had many sexual partners are at higher risk of the disease. However, most people have been exposed to HPV in their lifetime.People who smoke are at higher risk of this disease, as with most cancers. The risk also increases steadily with age. Women over age 65 are the most likely to develop cervical cancer. In Canadian studies, people with low incomes had consistently higher rates of cervical cancer. The most dramatic risk elevation was found in First Nations women, who are 2 to 6 times as likely to develop cervical cancer as non-Native women.”

Children’s Services | Sibling Rivalry:

“Sibling rivalry is less about the relationship between your children, than it is about their relationship with you, their parent. Each of them wants you to love them and them alone. They don’t want to share you.”

Children’s Services | Turn Your Words Into Gold:

“Don’t come back to the room until you can show some respect!Feel free to come back to the room as soon as you can be respectful!Stop arguing with me!I’ll be glad to discuss this with you as soon as the arguing stops.If you forget your lunch, you’ll just have to go hungry.”

These are good grace-based communications so kids will be more open to listen when you talk.

Q&A: Relating with a mom whose son is on drugs and stealing from :

“You know, when your child fails so badly it goes right to the core of you. It is right THERE that you are tempted to view yourself according to the measuring stick of performance. ”Where did I fail?“ will become the REAL question behind a million others. Do you try to ”fix“ things in the hopes of making up for your failure? Do you take a ”stand“ against the ”evil influences“ and the ”evil doers“ in our society? Do you begin to wonder why your child doesn’t measure up to your own standards? Or do you beat yourself up because you are sure that he/she has become the thing you might have been? ”

This article poses good questions to get to the heart of the matter of parenting issues. There is a touching grieving poem with hope.

Q&A: How do you raise children by grace?:

“ It is how they will try to keep you from knowing what they have done as they sense shame and inadequacy from it no matter how much you try to convince them Jesus took care of it. They will think like this no matter how hard you try to teach them grace. Don’t get depressed by this … it is the backdrop by which they will realize true grace in time. ”

This is a good article stressing the importance of not pretending the flesh can ever be righteous.

calgary.ctv.ca - Calgary news from CTV:

“At the end of the observation time, doctors found no impact on the rate of allergies or asthma.

But this did find breastfeeding babies, until they turned one, did have some obvious benefits.

”This study really quite definitively shows that, in infancy, breastfeeding did have an impact on eczema and bowel infections,“ says Dr. Reg Sauve from the University of Calgary.”

Q&A: Do you have any insight on raising kids?:

“I don’t have anything written about raising children … not sure I want to get into that. I will say this much, though … most of the stuff that has been said about, ”training them in the way they should go“ is detrimental to the identity of your child. It’s not ”in the way YOU want them to go“, or ”in the way YOU think GOD wants them to go“, but ”in the way THEY should go“.”

This is good article discussing the importance of not turning grace into a nicety. I pray all children would see Jesus came to save sinners. When children see/hear of our hurt and unconditionallove/grace, they will turn to Jesus and not be discouraged. God live give them His faith/way to do His good will.

Q&A: How to relate to my kids without sounding dogmatic?:

“ avoid the game. Tell your children about the real you. You know, the one that is alive in Christ because of what HE has done, but one who also struggles every day with the same kind of things they struggle with. Your children want to know if they are worthwhile, if they are important, if they are loved, and how they can be right. If you level with them about your own futile attempts to justify yourself through your day then they may be able to see that others, even religious others, are trying to do the same thing. They will really see truth when they realize that that is exactly what they are desperately searching for in the world around them. When it ceases to be a mystery then they won’t be enticed to go chasing after any system of man for their worth. Show them CHRIST vs. EVERYTHING ELSE!! :)”

The is an excellent/concise article on parenting with a real risen Christ focus. One needs to keep in mind that we are saved through FAITH not belief.

Q&A: How to discipline daughter in rebellion?:

“”Grades“ have become like gods to us. What is your real concern in knowing that her grades have slipped? The fact that her grades have fallen simply points to the fact that she has become distracted. Not unusual for a 15 year old girl - especially considering her situation with a mom and a dad who don’t live together anymore. I’m not rebuking you in any way, just adding it all together to give a fuller picture of her world. Once again, consider this: grades vs. relationship. The picture will always become clear when you can see what you’re dealing with. :)I personally think it is wise on your part to not buy her a car - for what would be the real purpose of it? Don’t let the temporary sense that ”Daddy loves me because he bought me a car!“ fool you into thinking it will do anything in the long run as far as showing your daughter that you love her.I appreciate your concern for your daughter, and thank you for taking the chance to ask me what you did. I look forward to continuing our discussion. :)”

I love that the author believes children can be believers of Jesus. It makes a good point that depending on your microculture something may be considered better or worse. It still is a narrow-minded perspective. I am not saying anything goes. As parents we need to realize that what we model, ourselves is most important. Loving her for who she is, not who you would like her to be. I pray so for all us parents.

Party Game Central- Party games and birthday games for kids and adults:

“Four or more people stand in a circle facing in and holding hands. Two people go around the outside and when ready, tap someone’s clasped hands, breaking the chain. The Dutchmen run around the circle racing against the two whose hand-clasp was broken (who run in the opposite direction). The slowest team gets to be the Dutchmen for the next round. Variations on this game are many including hopping or skipping, or perhaps in piggy-back.

 ”

Also Duck Duck Goose

FamilyFun: Ideas for Teacher Appreciation - and More Family Fun:

“WALK OF FAME
Create your own Walk of Fame for your teachers. Get a piece of donated red carpet or put red butcher paper down in the entry hall. Make gold stars with a teacher’s name on each, and have the school meet the teachers as they arrive one morning.”

Excellent ideas to encourage teachers!

For Mothers at Home:

“Setting expectations too high. If we don’t accept that life with children will include disorder, we will stay frustrated because we feel out of control.Forgetting how to have fun. Do you believe that now that you are an adult you can’t be silly anymore? Even as adults, we can still have slumber parties with our girlfriends, Chinese fire drills and pillow fights.”

Motherhood Guilt:

“I want you to consider this inexplicable reality; you haven’t done everything wrong. You’ve taken many actions that are not only harmless but actually wonderful and wise. In fact, you have innumerable memories squirreled away in the quagmire of your maternal mind that are full of light and life and that are indictors of a mothering life well considered.So here we go—say them aloud or write them on a piece of paper—answer this one question: what isn’t on your guilt list—i.e. what have you done right as a mom? Nothing is off limits mentioning. Nothing is too simple or too sappy. Start with the easy stuff…here’s a couple of mine:I don’t feel guilty for picking up my babies every time they criedI don’t feel guilty for baking chocolate-chip cookies nearly once a week for the past 17 yearsI don’t feel guilty admitting I hate to play board gamesSee? Easy. Nothing earth shaking. Just simple, real, guilt-free realities of my simple, real life.”

This is an encouraging article on seeing yourself as a new creation in mothering. This is from an “It is Finished perspective.” May it be so that we focus on “WHAT IS LOVELY.”

In the Shadow of Guilt:

“motherhood is accompanied by the nagging, sometimes debilitating, emotion of guilt (with that tired trio of regret, doubt, and second guessing, thrown in for good measure.) Guilt seems bundled within our XX chromosome mothering genes. And some of that guilt is good. Really. It serves a purpose, and it can help us.”

A good synopsis of the feelings the evil one accuses mothers of harbouring.

globeandmail.com: Mumps outbreak spreads:

“the current strain of mumps originated in Britain, where there was a large outbreak in 2004. Immunization rates had drop significantly in Britain because many people believed the measles-mumps-rubella vaccine caused autism. The vaccine-autism link has since been disproved, he noted.
The disease reached Iowa last year, and Dr. Rau said it has now found its way into Canada.
”It’s global travel compounded with vaccine refusal,“ he said.”

Is Remarriage a Step in the Right Direction?:

“Furthermore, loss always brings the fear of more loss. When persons start protecting themselves from more loss, walls are built. ”I’m afraid my kids and new husband will turn against each other. It would be just another failure,“ said one mom. Her teenage son echoed her fear, ”I’m afraid of getting close to anyone. With all I’ve had to live through I keep waiting for it to happen all over again.“”

This is a realistic article of blended families.

Fatherhood:

“Before the industrial revolution, fathers often worked side by side with their sons and instructed their children in spiritual values. When industrialization took over the American landscape, fathers left their farms and headed to the factories. Fourteen- to 16-hour workdays set the stage for the absentee father. Eventually, fathers came to be regarded as merely breadwinners who fulfilled their paternal duties by providing.”

This is a good point. Yes the father’s primary role is providing. However it is not to the exclusion of being there for the kids. Before kids worked with their dads alongside. Now one needs to make time for the recitals/final games/lifeskills etc. The tasks need to be done anyway. It is important to ask the child to tag along. Show them how you do it. May it be so.

Marketing Strategies:

“Children like to collect things. Some notable companies have capitalized on this by making a variety of products and then convincing kids that they have to obtain them all. Pokémon and Ty Beanie Babies are two corporations who have been especially good at this technique.Toy companies personify their stuffed animals and dolls, giving them names and birthdays. This strategy allows kids to connect with their toys as if they were real.”

This is so true. First it was pollys. Now it’s the pet shoppe. God said view it form the It’s Finsihed perspective. He said, GIVETHE TOYS AWAY WHEN THEY HAVE OUTGROWN THEM TO CHARITY. MATERIALISM?DISCONTENT IS NOT THE ISSUE. THEY ARE THEIR PAY FROM ME. IGIVE KIDS JOY NOT DEPRIVATION.

Easing the Home Schooling Load:

“Encourage personal devotions and study.Take time to try to fill learning ”gaps“ (what your child should know but does not) or move ahead.Try not to overwhelm or under-challenge your child.Teach study skills and test-taking skills.Continue grammar and writing.Begin learning about high school record keeping.Continue reading alone and together.Senior High (9th through 12th grades)”

Learning and Homework:

“Lists many sites offering reviews of children’s literature.Dictionary and Thesaurus* — Merriam-Webster OnLine.Encyclopedias* — Includes links to Britannica Online (also, try the free concise version), plus a variety of specialized encyclopedias.AskA+ Locator* — A directory of places you can go to get expert answers to your questions.”

Challenges in the Teen Years:

“Yet another incentive may involve a fashionable article of clothing that would not ordinarily be within your teen’s budget. Offering her a means of obtaining such luxuries is a happy alternative to the whining, crying, begging, complaining and pestering that might occur otherwise. Mom says, ”Sure you can have the ski sweater, but you’ll have to earn it.“ Once an acceptable motivator is agreed upon, the second step can be implemented.”

This is an excellent motivator to live out Jesus and His love to get the things kids even age 3 and a half would like to buy. Probably a parent would purchase the items anyways. It is a way to encourage budgeting skills, discernment, blessings of God, and patience. The only drawback is the excessive toys and mess. God seemed to say it is a way to give out of abundance to cousins/friends. I had the fear it would foster discontent and materialism but it was not of the Lord. Anyways those issues are “Finished in the risen Jesus.

Shovel Writings: The Renewing of the Mind:

“The religious lie of this world would have us suspect our problems are found by running after SIN, when in fact, we’ve been tricked into pursuing a fleshly ”RIGHTNESS“ … which is nothing but LAW!  ”

When we are concerned about what we say/do as opposed to who were are in the risen Christ, this is the law of the Pharisees. Jesus spoke against them. Maybe with our parenting we need to say to them,“live out Christ and His love that is in you.” With our spouses and family/friends maybe we need to think of them/ourselves in terms of the life of Jesus in all situations/them, rather than the fleshy logic of sin. We all can verify the presence of sin, but it takes faith to not judge the Spirit by appearances.

Life After Miscarriage:

“Don’t blame yourself. The most common reasons women miscarry are missing pieces of genetic information in the fertilized egg or improper implantation of the baby into the uterine lining. Women don’t miscarry because they ate something they shouldn’t have, or didn’t take folic acid or get enough rest. Miscarriage is God’s way of making sure that when you do have a baby, it has the best chance for a healthy life. Though it may feel like it, it’s not a punishment.”

This is an encourging article sharing that women often feel to blame years after it has occurred. It has good suggestions to accept the lass through memorializing.

The Psychopathic School by John Taylor Gatto

Schools were designed by Horace Mann and by Sears and Harper of the University of Chicago and by Thorndyke of Columbia Teachers College and by some other men to be instruments of the scientific management of a mass population. Schools are intended to produce, through the application of formulas, formulaic human beings whose behavior can be predicted and controlled.

To a very great extent schools succeed in doing this, but in a national order increasingly disintegrated, in a national order in which the only “successful” people are independent, self-reliant, confident, and individualistic (because community life which protects the dependent and the weak is dead and only networks remain), the products of schooling are, as I’ve said, irrelevant. Well-schooled people are irrelevant. They can sell film and razor blades, push paper and talk on telephones, or sit mindlessly before a flickering computer terminal, but as human beings they are useless. Useless to others and useless to themselves.

The daily misery around us is, I think, in large measure caused by the fact that, as Paul Goodman put it thirty years ago, we force children to grow up absurd. Any reform in schooling has to deal with its absurdities.

It is absurd and anti-life to be part of a system that compels you to sit in confinement with people of exactly the same age and social class. That system effectively cuts you off from the immense diversity of life and the synergy of variety; indeed it cuts you off from your own past and future, sealing you in a continuous present much the same way television does.

It is absurd and anti-life to move from cell to cell at the sound of a gong for every day of your natural youth in an institution that allows you no privacy and even follows you into the sanctuary of your home demanding that you do its “homework.”

Ok, some rants just need to be posted — even if written by others.

Think this is the rantings of a cynical lunatic? Think again. This is taken from John Taylor Gatto’s book, Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. This speech was given by Gatto on January 31/1990 in accepting an award from the New York State Senate naming him New York City Teacher of the Year. Yes, he’s a teacher.

I just wish we could find another few hundred thousand teachers to stand up and scream the same message…

Anger Busters for Kids:

“Model anger management. ”Mommy is feeling very angry right now, so I’m going to take time to be alone and get some self-control.Show respect. Don’t participate by calling names or getting physical.Give them words to express their anger. “I know you are disappointed, or sad or frustrated.”Identify with their pain. “I remember when I didn’t get to go to a party…”Set positive limits. Instead of saying, “Don’t you throw that doll,” say, “After you put the doll on the table, we can go have snack.”Redirect energy bursts that often come with anger. Encourage positive outlets like running, jumping, blowing into a horn or painting.Avoid power struggles with your child. They’re always lose-lose situations. If your goal is to control, you will teach him to control others.“

This article is excellent for mother, particularly with girls because one has to model it. In my opinion, time outs, focusing on the positive show grace not that a child has won. If one tries to control them by always having your way, they may tend to overcompensate by attempting to control their siblings/friends/you.

How to Arrange a Kids Craft Party! - weHow.com :

“Decorate T-shirts or pillowcases: Give each child a white T-shirt, or request on the party invitations that kids bring a white T-shirt that can be decorated. Cover an area of floor with thick cardboard from the sides of large boxes. Insert a thinner, smaller piece of cardboard inside each T-shirt to keep paint from running through to the back. Tape the shirt and thin cardboard down to the heavier cardboard, keeping the front surface flat. Have kids decorate their T-shirts with non-toxic fabric paints. Allow the T-shirts to dry and let guests wear the shirts home at the end of the birthday party. ”

Age 10 prob max

CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

Look, I’m an evangelical Christian who firmly believes that sex should be reserved for marriage. But I just can’t imagine going about it this way with any of my four kids, son or daughters.

For starters, something like a ”purity ball” essentially minimizes a young woman’s very humanity. But, of course, if we value her we know that her sexuality and the choices she makes about it as an adult are hers.

Besides, I can’t help but wonder if a single-minded focus on virginity is an ironic, and unintended way, of sexualizing youth in a different way.

In any event, what bothers me most is that these dads and daughters may be falling for the misperception that ”the sin is in the thing” instead of the heart, or conversely, that some sort of righteousness is inherent in the status of virgin, or any outward appearance of propriety.

But what if that same virginal girl has a heart full of bitterness, envy, lust, greed? Would her dad still be proud? Would she? Should they be?

Somehow, I just feel this is worth a little recognition: The stunning emergence of common sense from an evangelical columnist — and in the Times no less.

Bulletproofing Our Schools … With Faith:

“”Any sane culture is going to say we must move heaven and earth to get to our children early in life, before they are permanently and irreparably damaged,“ Gulker says. ”By abandoning public schools, you create a culture, a society, where your children and grandchildren can be sure they will not be safe.“Gulker is founder and executive director of an unprecedented mentoring program, Kids Hope USA, that beguiles public educators and church leaders alike with its simplicity. Volunteers from neighborhood churches are paired with an at-risk student and spend an hour a week with him or her at school: reading, doodling, working math problems, shooting hoops or just listening. The aim is to become the child’s friend, a dependable source of encouragement and love.What has stunned not only teachers and administrators, but Gulker himself, is the payoff from such a meager investment. Teachers consistently report significant improvements in attendance, truancy and academic achievement.”

This is an encouraging article on preventing criminal activities through the unconditional grace of time, fun, presence, and education.

Telling Young Children About Miscarriage:

“If you do suffer a miscarriage, I’d encourage you to be honest with the girls. Tell them that God knew this baby was very sick, and so He decided to take him to be with Him in heaven. Grieve the loss together, but if you find yourself overwhelmed by intense feelings of sadness, share those feelings with your husband and your pastor, not with your girls. A two- and four-year-old aren’t mature enough to understand or process a parent’s intense grief.

I Never Knew You, Still I Love You:

“there were others who provided deep comfort. As hard as it was to repeat the story of our loss, our friends’ responses — prayer and practical help — lightened our burden. ”We understand that this is a real loss of a real child,“ wrote one, ”and that you are grieving. It is amazing how much sadness the heart can hold for someone whom one never got to know.“ These words, written by someone who lost a child to miscarriage years earlier, were further permission to grieve … and grieve deeply.”

Th