Session Notes

USA Today

So what’s keeping kids indoors? Fear of abduction is a big one, followed by worries about kids getting hit by cars and bullies, surveys have found.



Those fears have created legions of overprotective parents rearing “wimps” who are unable to cope with the ups and downs of life because they have no experience doing so, said Hara Estroff Marano, the New York-based author of the book A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting.



“The home of the brave has given way to the home of the fearful, the entitled, the risk averse, and the narcissistic,” Marano said. “Today’s young, at least in the middle class and upper class, are psychologically fragile,” Marano said in an interview published in the journal.



Hovering parents, these researchers said, also deprive their children of something else — joy. One survey found that 89 percent of children preferred outdoor play with friends to watching TV.



“Parents have to remember that childhood is this special time. You only get it once, and you don’t want to miss it,” LaFreniere said. “Mixing it up with other kids in an unrestrained manner isn’t just fun. It isn’t a luxury. It’s part of nature’s plan.”

Apparently, there’s something rather positive to be said for mediocre parenting…

With all the helicopter parenting, early childhood education, language immersion and other tactics we are all so sure will help our kid to get ahead, we’ve forgotten how to raise humans who know how to get along. Perhaps we finally have an explanation for the American political system…

Via: The Atlantic

Here I was, seeing the flesh-and-blood results of the kind of parenting that my peers and I were trying to practice with our own kids, precisely so that they wouldn’t end up on a therapist’s couch one day. We were running ourselves ragged in a herculean effort to do right by our kids—yet what seemed like grown-up versions of them were sitting in our offices, saying they felt empty, confused, and anxious. Back in graduate school, the clinical focus had always been on how the lack of parental attunement affects the child. It never occurred to any of us to ask, what if the parents are too attuned? What happens to those kids?

Ten years ago or so, I started seeing a phenomenon. A constant stream of clients began to come into the office who really did have perfect parents and had gone through perfect childhoods with that they described as, “Perfect Self Esteem,” – whatever this week’s definition of that is…

And, they had just ditched their second wife or husband.

What the linked article – well worth the really long read it is btw – misses is that there is a second tier of issue happening here that goes way beyond just the person’s ability to deal with stress, it has to do with foundational skills in relationships.

You see, while said perfect parents are running around and making sure that junior has the perfect life, they are not focused on each other, not locking their kids out of their room and making mad passionate love that properly disgusts their children, they are not making out in the living room until their teens want them to get a room, they never go out on dates alone and (GOD FORBID!!!) leave the children with a sitter, they never chase the kids out of the room to have a private, deeply emotional and intimate conversation (that the child overhears from around the corner anyway) and they have never demonstrated to the child the struggle it takes to make a real marriage work.

No, they are too busy raising the perfect child…

Enter stage left another perfectly parented child with perfect delusions from Hollywood about relationships and a marriage happens. And neither of them have any clue about even making a real marriage work – much less the romantic ideal. And, it blows sky high. And, we wonder why…

Then, in retirement acres down somewhere where the sun always shines, the two elderly perfect parents sit across the patio from each other wondering why they can’t even talk enough with each other anymore to discuss why junior and juniorette can’t seem to stay married. Some of them also wonder if that inability to talk has anything to do with why, lately, they seem to be pushing happy hour up to lunchtime…

via www.gizmag.com.

For some time now, it’s been one of those “well-known facts” that playing video games increases one’s hand-eye coordination… much to the consternation of parents and spouses trying to convince family members that their obsessive gaming has no redeeming value. Now, research conducted at the University of Rochester indicates that playing action video games also increases peoples’ ability to make right decisions faster. Ironically, an activity that involves sitting on the couch helps people to think on their feet.

Google’s expectation that certain employees have reached high level character development on World of Warcraft prior to becoming eligible for employment turns out to have been a pretty decent hunch…

Finally, a little reason…

For years, the aggressive presentation of the American Psyc. Asso. has been that homosexuality is innate, that any attempt at reparative therapy amounted to abuse and that therapists who offer such should be banned. They further promoted the idea (and aggressively attempted the enforcement of such) that schools must affirm and even market homosexuality/bisexuality/lesbianism/transsexualism as a great idea for youth or risk being seen as and create children who are bigoted.

It would be nice if they had founded all of this politicking on anything more then rumor and thin air — but, they didn’t — the science just isn’t on their side.

Finally, the push back is coming — and coming VERY hard — from none other then the American College of Pediatricians in the form of a letter stating the obvious:

(1) individuals with unwanted same sex attraction often can be successfully treated;

(2) there is no undue risk to patients from embarking on such therapy and

(3), as a group, homosexuals experience significantly higher levels of mental and physical health problems compared to heterosexuals. Among adolescents who claim a “gay” identity, the health risks include higher rates of sexually transmitted infections, alcoholism, substance abuse, anxiety, depression and suicide. Encouragingly, the longer students delay self-labeling as “gay,” the less likely they are to experience these health risks. In fact, for each year an adolescent delays, the risk of suicide alone decreases by 20%.

In light of these facts, it is clear that when well-intentioned but misinformed school personnel encourage students to “come out as gay” and be “affirmed,” there is a serious risk of erroneously labeling students (who may merely be experiencing transient sexual confusion and/or engaging in sexual experimentation). Premature labeling may then lead some adolescents into harmful homosexual behaviors that they otherwise would not pursue.

Optimal health and respect for all students will only be achieved by first respecting the rights of students and parents to accurate information and to self-determination. It is the school’s legitimate role to provide a safe environment for respectful self-expression for all students. It is not the school’s role to diagnose and attempt to treat any student’s medical condition, and certainly not a school’s role to “affirm” a student’s perceived personal sexual orientation.

Here’s a couple more sources of real information from NARTH and Liberty Counsel.

Don’t expect the politburo at the APA to agree though…

Session Notes:

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The God Who Speaks – July 7, 2006 I was gearing up for soul-restoration, not issues-exploration. But Cam is usually right, so I kept my eyes open and asked the Lord for a strategy. Sure enough, not long into my “breather”, up came some “stuff” that wants to bully me towards isolation. How do you rest when old insecurities, temptations, or “demons” rise up when you finally still your heart? Or am I the only one who didn’t automatically get all his shortcomings washed away at baptism? If not, read on:

The Lord showed me that during a time of rest, first of all, I don’t need to go digging for my issues. They will surface on their own, thankyou very much.

Second, when they surface, I don’t need to work at fixing things. Rather, I can sit WITH them in HIS PRESENCE, allowing them to RIPEN. That way, instead of running around the tree of my life picking off old “bad” fruit, I can sit at the tree of HIS LIFE /the Cross) and let the fruit simply rot and fall off. I found that this took some patience and a little courage. But to extend the tree analogy, it was a reminder that Christ is the Pruner… not me. And if you give Him a chance, He is faithful to do it. I hardly had to help him; my role was to simply ripen in His presence. SOOO restful… in fact, the biggest breakthrough came just this morning through a one-minute dream. It was Jesus, teaching me “the unforced rhythms of grace” (Matt. 11:28 MSG).

And third, it dawned on me, “Why don’t I ALWAYS take this approach?” Perhaps there is a time to take the initiative and really pursue one’s healing ruthlessly and thoroughly… but I’ll ask Jesus about that later. After my rest. In the mean time, can I challenge you to ask the Lord if there’s anything “in your face” that He’d like to have ripen in His presence.

Brad Jersak

This is an inspiring article!!! I pray we can allow God to reveal His healing love to us, our families, friends, clients, churches, school, and world.

CBC News – Consumer Life – Giving kids braces earlier not always better:

“However, for children with Class II malocclusion, commonly referred to as an overbite or buck teeth, there is no advantage to starting early, according to Dr. William Proffit, a professor at the University of North Carolina’s School of Dentistry in Chapel Hill.”

Being Broken From The Need To Control – Grace Walk Ministries:::Sharing the Love & Life of Christ:

“Relax, and enjoy your journey. Rest in your Father’s sovereignty. Your life is an adventure, planned and performed by Him. We grow weary when we try to do what He alone can do. It is through our trials that He will lift our controlling need to be in charge. We must see that we are not in charge, but God alone determines and controls the unfolding of our destiny. Control is an arena for which we are not suited. Our Father, on the other hand, is perfectly suited for that role. So let go. Lay down your life for His sake and you will find it. Cling to your own life and you will lose it. Zoe (an authentic, abundant life) is yours. Don’t forfeit it for bios (biological life, mundane existence). If that is your deep desire, join in heartfelt agreement with this prayer: Father, move in me and through me to lay down my agenda and my control and trust You alone. Thank you that You will complete the work you have begun in me. I yield my circumstances to You and ask You to teach me to trust You more through all of it. Bring me to maturity, according to Your plan.”

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL ARTICLES!!! I PRAY WWHEN WE, OUR FAMILIES, FRIENDS, CLIENTS, SCHOOLS, AND WORLD FEEL BROKEN HEARTED THAT WE REST to feel content in all circumstances according to HIS PLAN.

Overcoming A Bad Family Background – Grace Walk Ministries:::Sharing the Love & Life of Christ:

“Don’t be held captive by your past. It isn’t necessary to pretend your heritage is something other than what it really was, but you don’t have to be held back by it. When Jesus Christ gave you His life, His past became your past. You received a new heritage. The new you has been in Him since the foundation of the world. (See Ephesians 1:4) You aren’t who you used to be. (See 2 Corinthians 5:17) You aren’t the sum of your family’s past. You are who God made you to be – a divine work of art (see Ephesians 2:10), endowed with supernatural potential (see Philippians 4:13). In Christ, your future is as bright as the promises of God! Don’t allow yourself to be trapped by lies which suggest that you’ll never make it in life. You will make it because you have been delivered from your background. Your future hinges on the loving faithfulness of God and He can be trusted. The Psalmist wrote: ‘Your goodness is so great! You have stored up blessings for those who honor you. You have done so much for those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world!’ (Psalm 31:19) “

This is an inspiring article! I pray this article for us, our families, friends, schools, clients, and world.

Coolest Kid Birthday Party Printable Birthday Invitations:

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It’s All Him – Grace Walk Ministries:::Sharing the Love & Life of Christ:

“Have you ever noticed our tendency to push ourselves into the starring role of the stories told in the Bible? For instance, consider the story of ‘the good Samaritan.’ Most sermons I’ve ever heard about that text makes the main application be that ‘we shouldn’t be like the lawyer or the priest who passed by the wounded man without helping him. We should be like the good Samaritan.’ In reality, that’s not the meaning of the story. It’s not a moral lesson that the Bible is trying to teach us here. Through that story, Jesus was teaching us about Himself. The main lesson isn’t that we are to help the pitiful, helpless man. It’s that we are the pitiful, helpless man. Jesus is the Good Samaritan who found us after legalism and devout religion didn’t lift a finger to help us.”

I pray the Spirit teaches us that it is all about Jesus as Saviour and not us.